Paradox Fighters, Part 5
by benji.dordoni
Summary: After the bizarre occurrences of the last round, Holly's distrust for Twilight reaches a boiling point, and the team splits once again. Holly attempts to chase down Twilight in the largest round yet, while Holly's mysterious doppelganger begins to make its own moves, while an elite agent of the Illuminati experiences trouble of her own. Rated T language/violence/suggestive content.
1. Danger Close

_PREVIOUSLY, IN PARADOX FIGHTERS: Holly completes recording Katniss' account and lets it pass among the fighters of the Grand Combat, which infuriates the girl. Holly wishes to repair the damage while Twilight Sparkle becomes increasingly suspicious, enlisting the aid of the powerful monster Alucard. The next round is a challenge to capture a mansion at the center of the walled city Shinganshima, Mikasa's hometown. The round becomes a chaotic game of cat-and-mouse as Katniss pursues the goal, Holly pursues Katniss, and Twilight pursues Holly. Along the way, a myriad of new faces appear: Adam and Ruby, an unusual duo with an explosive cooperative style; Dio, a vampire with the ability to stop time, which the Master of Games has given control of his team to; and Ryuko, a girl with a sentient transforming uniform and a gigantic half-scissor. When our heroes finally join up to confront Dio, Holly is mercilessly killed, sending the warriors running again- until they find the elf alive in a most unusual way. They launch a destructive assault to capture the mansion, but Katniss is consumed by the power of the Satsui No Hado, as her pent-up anger presents the final foe to our heroes. After winning the round, old friends and new alike relax, as a mysterious creature that looks like Holly begins to form a team…_

A colossal foot placed itself gently onto the empty street below, buckling the pavement and shattering the ground-floor windows in a five-meter radius. The Jaeger twisted its head, nearly buried in armor plate, and took in a panoramic view of the empty city. A few scattered clouds drifted lazily through a bright blue sky. The Gipsy Danger stood as a stark contrast against the city's immobile skyscrapers, its huge linebacker shoulders refusing to be flat or square.

"Sure does look dead, don't it?" grunted Raleigh, a goofy grin sitting on his face.

"That it does," confirmed Mako. "We'll be able to push Gipsy a lot harder than usual."

"That's exactly what I was thinking," replied the male Ranger, hearing his partner's words before they were spoken. The two nodded in perfect unison, and began a synchronized march against the foot pedals, their side-by-side steps rhythmically moving the heavy implements. The archaic Jaeger mimicked their movements, and began to stomp ahead, carefully maneuvering between buildings with a grace that something that large should not have possessed.

Careful eyes watched the enormous machine walk away. Careful fingers pulled back the mass-production invisibility cloak- a recent invention of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement- and exposed the AEGIS system that she wore over her black-white-blue uniform. A few clicks across the liquid-metal screen, and a shower of blue sparks crackled out underneath her, concealed by the cloak.

"Oof," said the girl who fell out, blinking the stars out of her perpetually-distant, ruby-red eyes.

The woman with the AEGIS sat down next to the girl, the cloak draping over their heads. For a moment, the severity of the situation was nearly forgotten. Here they were, sitting under a sheet like children protesting bedtime. A smile spread across the woman' face.

"What is it?"

"Oh, nothing. Are you Number Two?"

"I think that name is useless. I am just like the-"

A change of subject was in order. "Never mind. Do you have it?"

"Of course." She held up a small black box, which the woman opened hurriedly, tossing aside the foam backing and removing the eyepiece it contained. She slipped the device over her ear and flipped over the thin piece of red space-plastic so that it covered her left eye.

"Thank you, Rei. That's all for now."

"Hmm," cooed Rei, her facial expression 'changing' to something that could be perceived as 'worry'.  
"'Hmm' what?"

"She is angry, you know. Very upset."

"Who's angry?"

"Miss Yoko. She wanted this mission."

"I'm sure she did. But you know what Artemis said. 'Under no circumstance must one make contact with their-'"

"'-Universal counterpart.' I am aware."

"Okay, okay. I'm going to send you back."

"I understand."

With another tap on the AEGIS, Rei disappeared in the same way she had arrived.

_Bloody hell. Socially awkward doesn't begin to describe 'em._

She stood up, the cloak billowing out behind her in the gentle breeze. The skyscraper roof she stood on still wasn't as tall as that huge machine, which could still be seen between the buildings ahead. A few dull beeps clattered around in the Scouter's earpiece, and she tapped a panel on the device to receive the call. Artemis' voice crackled over the speaker, truly a paradigm of audio reception.

"This is command. Rei Two just returned. I assume you have found your Scouter in working order?"

"It's fine. The audio quality is a bit of a bugger."

"That is to be expected. We're projecting signal through dimensions. As useful as the Scouter is, it was still designed for localized applications. We will iron out the glitches eventually."

"While you're at it, will you iron out Rei? She's got all of the suave of a hippogriff dropping."

"I _am_ on the line," Rei's quiet voice responded.

"Oh. Oh! Sorry, I didn't mean- I didn't-"

"That's enough. Your mission starts now, Mrs. Granger."

"Solid copy, Artemis," she sighed. "Hermione Granger, out."

The Scouter beeped a few more times to signal the end of the call.

_I'm as much of an oaf as that husband of mine. And I'm certainly too old to be up to this sort of nonsense._

She dismissed the second thought, remembering what was at stake. Hermione opened a latch on her left gauntlet and drew the wand stored within. She focused on her destination and disapparated to the next rooftop. After a series of consecutive jumps, her target was dead ahead. The Jaeger swept its head back and forth, clearly looking for something. Hermione slipped the invisibility cloak back up, huddling underneath- hidden in plain sight. She drew a small 'x' in midair with her wand, and the air swirled into a thin lens. Through it, Hermione could see straight into the Jaeger's inner workings, watching its synchronized pilots turning their heads.

"Got 'em," she whispered.

Artemis' voice crackled back in reply.

"That was fast," he said. "What are their power levels?"

"Three-hundred and seven each. Not bad for a couple of pilots."

"Oh, dear. That can't be them."

Hermione nearly tore off her Scouter in frustration. "What do you mean, it's not them? Who else could it be?"

Somewhere far below, a megaphone spat out whiny feedback before a shouting voice bellowed through, seemingly unaware of the amplification.

"HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY! YOU! UGLY! YES, YOU!"

Hermione crawled to the edge of the current roof, looking down past Gipsy Danger's massive bulk. Far ahead, down the street on which the titanic mech stood, sat two much smaller machines. With a circular swipe, she turned the x-ray lens into a magnifier, tilting her wand to aim the magical construct at the distant figures.

Gipsy Danger's pilots locked onto the sound, identifying the smaller mechs below.

"_You're_ who we're supposed to be fighting?" groaned Raleigh in disbelief.

"We were expecting something the size of a Kaiju," muttered Mako.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT A KAIJU IS! PROBABLY SOMETHING SMALL AND WEAK!"

Hermione squinted at the magic lens she had created, noting that her vision wasn't what it used to be. The two mechs were of irregular design, one was much larger than the other, but still comparatively small. The other was absolutely miniscule; the boy sitting in its open-air cockpit would almost be taller if he stood next to it. Both of them lacked a head unit, and instead bore large and detailed faces across their torsos. The larger of the two had a feral-looking face with snarling teeth and huge, angular sunglasses. Atop it stood the voice's owner, a shirtless and heavily-tatooed teenage boy with a similar pair of sunglasses. The smaller, with its short, stubby limbs, had a far more human-looking visage- appropriately less visceral for its smaller, daintier-looking pilot.

"Actually," explained Mako, "Kaiju are monsters that are quite large and strong."

"WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING REAL IMPORTANT. YOU SEE, WHEN LEGENDS TELL LEGENDS, THEY TELL THE KIND OF LEGEND THAT CAN ONLY BE TRUE OF THE MANLIEST OF LEGENDARY MEN!" The boy on the larger mech hopped down to the mouth region, opened a hatch, and flung himself in.

_Oh boy, _thought Hermione. _This is not going to end well._

"THEY TELL THE STORY OF A MAN WHOSE PERSEVERANCE AND FIGHTING SPIRIT TORE **STRAIGHT THROUGH THE HEAVENS!** THE MAN WHO **NEVER GAVE UP!********_THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THAT MAN, RIGHT THERE!_****"**

The larger mech threw a hand upward in a dramatic point toward the sky, then levelled it at the smaller machine next to it.

"Thanks for the introduction, bro," said the boy in the tiny robot.

The Jaeger's loudspeakers buzzed with the sound of laughter.

"Come on," said the voice of Raleigh. "Really? All of that hot air for something that small?"

"I think they're bluffing," giggled Mako.

The larger of the two turned to the smaller. "They're laughing at us, Simon."

"Don't sweat it, bro. Believe in yourself."

"Heh. I never thought you'd turn that one around on me."

"Neither did I. Now, let's do this."

"Right," confirmed the larger of the two. "LET'S COMBINE!"

Hermione's Scouter began to sound every possible alarm, a chorus of beeps and trills that corresponded with the fluctuating readouts on the display.

_Their power levels… that's insane! This thing has to be broken._

Artemis' voice crackled back over the line.

"Those are your targets, Mrs. Granger. Exercise caution in your observations, things might get a little dangerous out there."

The smaller of the two machines leapt into the air as its stubby limbs retracted. From where the legs had been extended a massive, spinning drill, the sunlight reflecting off of the metal like ocean waves. It dove into the top of the other mech, sprouting a half-moon crest above its brow. The new single robot extended its arms and legs further, taking on more humanoid proportions. It resembled a samurai to an extent, with brilliant crimson, glossy black and shining gold adorning its angular armor.

"TWO FIERY SPIRITS JOINED AS ONE! _REUNION COMBINING __**GURREN LAGANN! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?**_"

"You're still smaller than Gipsy's foot," scoffed Raleigh.

Mako finished his thought. "So we can crush you like a bug!"

Gipsy Danger raised one of its legs skyward, casting a shadow over the smaller combined mech. Hermione quickly began to draw a _Flippendo _jinx with her wand, knowing that she would have to throw the larger robot off-balance.

_I'm not sure just how effective the jinx will be, but I don't have any other opt-_

A brutal CRACK ripped through the air as Gipsy's stomp connected, crushing Gurren Lagann underfoot. Hermione barely had time to grab the edge of her building's roof before the massive shockwave knocked her off of her feet.

_Damn_, she thought, holding herself down against the blast of displaced air. _It was too fast. I couldn't take the shot. I've failed._ The wind died down, and she dusted herself off and stood up. The Jaeger pulled its foot out of the chasm it had created, and began to turn around. It stopped halfway, and then turned back to the hole its foot had dug.

Raleigh and Mako scratched their heads, and the Jaeger was obligated to mimic them. "If we had won, we would have sunk into the ground, right?" Said the male Ranger.

"Then, that must mean-"

The ground behind them exploded as their crimson foe burst through the street, a huge drill covering its arm. The robot pirouetted into the air with astounding poise as a set of wings unfolded from its back. A pair of brilliant-green jets of flame sparked to life, and the Gurren Lagann settled into a hover at eye-level with its massive opponent.

"THE INDOMITABLE SPIRIT OF GURREN LAGANN IS NOT SO EASILY CRUSHED!" shouted the voice Simon had identified as "bro".

"That's right, Kamina. Team Gurren never gives up, even against insurmountable odds!"

"You little-" growled Mako. The Gipsy began to turn, extending an arm forward and clenching a fist. With a thud, a booster rocket fired up in the depths of the elbow joint, throwing the battleship-sized arm into its opponent. The impact created another shockwave, which Hermione was not prepared for. The blast knocked her off of the building, and she barely had enough time to cast an _Aresto Momentum_ to keep herself from ending up as a smear on the pavement. With the charm active, she descended lightly to the ground, where she promptly apparated back up to her vantage point.

_I need to be more careful. Unlike these youngsters, I don't get brought back if I'm killed._

The Gurren Lagann flipped end-over-end as it flew away, propelled by Gipsy's gigantic punch. Simon took a deep breath and eased back on the controls, and the Gunmen righted itself violently, bringing itself back into a hover. He opened a comms channel into the torso.

"You doing all right, Kamina?"

"Sure thing, Simon. It's great to be back in action."

"Yeah. It's refreshing," he said, observing the Jaeger begin its march toward them. "What do you say we go on the offensive?"

"I say, you're on!"

Raleigh did a double-take at his holographic display. "They recovered? How? Something that small shouldn't be able to stand up to that kind of punishment!"

"We'll get it at range," grunted Mako, lifting an open-palmed hand. "Plasma caster ready."

The Gipsy Danger raised its left arm, the hand folding back into the heavy energy weapon. Plasma began to fizzle at the center of its focusing array. The smaller red mech dove toward the Jaeger, its jets at maximum burn.

"Looks like this guy's got a big weak spot on its chest, instead of a proper face," chuckled Kamina. Simon noticed the gaping, glowing intake in the center of their opponent's torso as well.

"You're right. That's what we'll aim for."

Hermione took a few steps back, knowing that the inevitable clash was going to be just as destructive as the last two. She noticed that the Jaeger held its right arm behind its back, and that something was slipping out of its huge wrist.

_"__GIGA!"_ shouted the two pilots of the Gurren Lagann as an oversized glowing drill erupted from their mech's outstretched arm.

"_DRILL!"_ they continued, emphasizing the most obvious part of the attack. With a squeeze of the Jaeger's holo-trigger, the larger machine fired its plasma caster, sending a massive bolt toward the advancing Gunmen. The drill dispersed the plasma sphere into a fine mist, and the Gurren Lagann continued ahead. However, the Gipsy Danger had a final trick up its sleeve.

"TAKE THIS!" yelled Raleigh, as he and Mako thrust their right arms forward. The Jaeger's other arm swung ahead, a massive sword extending from its heavy gauntlet armor. The gigantic blade collided with the Gurren Lagann's drill, halting the smaller machine in the air. Sparks sprayed off of the collision like raindrops, and Hermione had to check that her invisibility cloak hadn't caught fire.

Raleigh let a little panic seep into his voice. "They're… still there?! That slash didn't get them?"

"The sword's integrity is failing," gasped Mako. "Fifty percent. Eighty percent. One hundred p-"

"**_BREAK!_**"

The sound of the sword shattering was followed by a massive jolt from below. The lights flickered off in the Jaeger's cockpit, until the emergency backups came on line a moment later. Every screen that was operational flashed the same warning: Critical Reactor Failure. The Gunmen powered their way straight through the Gipsy Danger's cooling fan, pierced the very heart of the massive robot, and exploded out of its back. Gurren Lagann landed with a flourish, once again behind its less graceful foe. The giga-drill collapsed to a more manageable size and retracted into the Gunmen's arm. One of the computers began their congratulatory speech.

_Now's my chance,_ thought Hermione, charming herself with _Aresto _again. She jumped off of the building and landed at the feet of the disabled Jaeger, frantically scanning for her quarry. She was distracted for a moment by a loud warning klaxon- loud enough to drown out the computer's monologue.

_"__ATTENTION, CIVILIANS. SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY. REACTOR FAILURE IN PROGRESS."_

"Bugger," Hermione cursed. _That brute's going to blow up._

She rushed back and forth along the fine debris that had been cast down when the massive Jaeger was run through by the Gurren Lagann's drill. Finally, she saw what she needed- a faint green glow underneath a bent sliver of dull-blue armor plate. She skidded to a seat and jammed her hand underneath the wreckage, but could not reach far enough. She placed her hands on the edges of the slab of metal and began to lift, but it was far heavier than she had expected.

_"__TOTAL FAILURE IN TEN. NINE. EIGHT. SEVEN,"_ warned the Jaeger's loudspeaker. Hermione struggled, wrenching against the scrap metal with all of her strength. It was no use.

_Come on. COME ON. I can't just- oh. Of course. How did I forget?_

She drew her wand, and with a delicate _swish _and a well-timed _flick, _the _Wingardium Leviosa_ charm took effect. The armor plate floated lazily into the air, scooted aside by a few inches, and fell to the ground again. Hermione snagged the glowing object, tapped a few coordinates into her AEGIS system, and vanished just before the Jaeger's reactor went supernova.


	2. Schism 2

"PCKSHHAAAAAAAAAAW! BOOOOOOOOM! Oh, man, that was AWESOME!" Ruby began to mimic the fight scene, using her hands to represent the dueling robots.

"Eh. I've seen cooler," huffed Ryuko, spitting out a lemon seed. Holly was beginning to wonder if that was _all_ the girl ate. Their little group had made a habit of meeting together to observe matches they weren't in, discussing their past victories, and inventing tactics to use in future rounds. Of course, they weren't all business. Adam had been bartering his cards in exchange for paper (some other fighters actually had paper, others offered toiletries. Neither were turned down), and Twilight Sparkle had fashioned some number-puzzles and other little games.

"Cooler than _that_?" asked the elf.

"Yeah. Definitely," Ryuko replied. "But I'll give them an A for effort."

Holly turned to Twilight Sparkle, who was in the process of spell-checking something that Adam wrote. "Did you happen to see that bit at the end?"

The unicorn glanced up at the elf briefly, then returned to her work. "Whatever do you mean?"

"I swore I saw some of the debris move around at the end there. You always have an explanation for that kind of thing." There was a hint of accusation there.

"Probably just a shockwave, or something. You do realize that the mech was about to blow up, right?"

"But it hadn't blown up. Stuff doesn't just _move _like that. It almost looked like something picked it up or-"

"That's ridiculous. There were only the two sets of pilots in the match."

"She's right," oiled Alucard, looking up from his game of tic-tac-toe with Katniss. "There wouldn't be anyone else to move it." Katniss scrawled another X, and the vampire crumpled the piece of paper and tossed it away.

"You knew about the room, and the thing in my head," the elf snapped. "Clearly you've got explanations for a lot of odd things. Why can't you explain this?"

"_Because I don't know_," growled Twilight.

"Okay, I'll take that. Sure. But you _have to know_ how you're not a vamp…ony anymore."

For a moment, fear flashed across the unicorn's face. She composed herself and replaced it with anger.

"Why are you doing this, Holly?"

"That doesn't answer the question."

"I don't care if it does. _Why_?"

"Because you're hiding something," said Holly firmly. "And I'm not sure I'm willing to do whatever you ask when you can't tell me _why_ I'm doing it. Like that… _thing _that you made me throw up. You still haven't explained that."

"I'll explain everything exactly when I-"

"HELLO, MY FINE WARRIORS!" interrupted the voice of the Master of Games.

"We'll finish this later," hissed Holly.

"That we will," spat the unicorn.

"Shut up," whispered Katniss. "Everyone else is trying to listen."

The Master of Games was explaining the next round. "You'll need to find and defeat three fighters that I have designated a 'V.I.W.' Anyone care to guess what that stands for?"

A muscular arm raised a broad, worn hand.

The Master of Games sighed. "Yes, Sol?"

"Is it 'Very Important Warrior'?" chuckled the bounty hunter/scientist/bioweapon.

"…Yes. Yes it is."

A cadre of female voices squealed in glee.

"He's so dreamy!" said one.

"And intelligent!" remarked another.

"Fred, I'll tell you about my _childhood!_" giggled the last.

Ryuko shook her head slowly, and spat out another lemon seed.

"Anyway," continued the Master of Games, "Each of these V.I.W.s will have a base and troops of their own to command. You can try and form a team, or go it solo. Whatever floats your boat. The round will begin in an hour. I'll see you then."

Twilight cursed, which elicited more than a few chortles from those nearby.

"Three bases… with defenders? Has it gone that far?"

"There you go again!" shouted Holly. "What is 'it'?!"

The unicorn gave a nod to her vampire companion, and they both disappeared in a flash of purple energy. Holly drove her knuckles into the table.

"Oh, _COME ON!_" She noticed the concerned stares her friends were giving her. "What? I'm not crazy. You know she's been as mysterious as a dwarf's chin since we met her."

"First," said Katniss, "I have no idea what you mean by a 'dwarf's chin'. You should really make your jokes more accessible, so that more of us can laugh at them."

"Wh-what?"

"And second, you need to calm down."

The elf scratched her head. "Katniss, when did you become the voice of reason around here?"

"Listen, Holly. Twilight can't be the only person around here who wants to keep their secrets. _I _got pissed earlier because I was sensitive about people hearing about the things I did."

"But this isn't that. She always has answers to everything and knows about all of this malarkey that happens. She knows more than she's letting on. I'm a _cop_, Katniss. I know when someone is lying to protect their own interests!"

"And how would you normally respond to that?"

"It depends. Sometimes we have to let it go and investigate other sources. Other times, we can interrogate them."

"In that case, why don't you do one of those things? It can't be that hard."

"Well, we'll have to find her during this round then. It won't be easy."

"Relax," said Ryuko. "I'll lend you a hand. I've got a bone to pick with Twilight anyway. I'll prove to her once and for all that I'm not a sadomasochist!"

"And how do you plan to do that?" asked Holly.

"By turning her into a purple smear on the pavement!" Ryuko roared, before a look of stunned realization came over her face.

Ruby hopped up over the table, snagging together Katniss' and Holly's necks in an embrace. "You had better believe Adam and I will help, too! Any friend of Katniss' is a friend of ours!"

"But Ruby," said Adam, "Twilight could be considered a friend of theirs, too."

"Yeah, but did we fight alongside her, earn her trust in combat, and drench our blades together in the blood of our enemies so that she would become our shield-sister?"

An awkward silence fell over the group after Ruby's speech.

"Just kidding," she said. No one laughed.

Across the room, Alucard watched the discussion unfold. He turned to Twilight, who was careful to stand among a different group of fighters.

"Well?" whispered the unicorn.

"They're plotting to find you and beat the answers out of you."

Twilight let a smile spread over her muzzle. "_Perfect."_


	3. Utmost Importance

Hermione materialized a few feet above the TARDIS' deck, as usual. She bounced to the floor, cursed, and picked herself up, placing a hand on her aching back. Artemis stood, arms crossed behind his back, in the only shaft of light the dimly-lit spacecraft provided. His butler stood behind him, wearing a cloak of shadow.

"Mrs. Granger, I am glad to see you back."

"I'm glad to see me back, too, considering I was almost turned into _a bloody pile of ashes_!"

"You were aware of the risks when you joined us, Mrs. Granger."

"Sod off about the risks, Fowl. I'm too old to be doing this."

"Unfortunately, you cannot simply leave, now that you are with us. Not until our goal has been achieved. Your mission was of the utmost importance to that goal, and you completed it succinctly and with-"

"Everything's of the utmost-bloody-importance, isn't it? Reeling me into this, all of that bloody training, the clones, this bit of glowing rock!"

"It's no rock, Mrs. Granger," he said, extending an open hand. She removed it from one of her uniform's myriad pockets and placed it squarely in his palm. He squinted at it, smiling.

"Yes, this is the key to our plans. We don't have much time. Prepare for immediate transport upstairs."

"Upstair-" Hermione was cut off as the young man tapped a button on the AEGIS he wore on his arm, and she was ripped through dimensions into what appeared to be another spacecraft. A curtain of sparks opened on her left, and Artemis and his butler stepped through. They were on a panoramic bridge, surrounded on all sides by a swarm of activity. Some Rei clones sat behind monitors, keeping track of readouts. Others jumped in and out of the room using their AEGISes.

Artemis raised his voice slightly, so that his voice would carry across the massive bridge.

"Number Two, inform Dexter that we have arrived. Tell him we have the shard."

A holographic display flickered on in front of them, displaying Rei Two's face. She gave Hermione a glare and then turned her attention back to Artemis.

"Of course, Commander Fowl," she whispered, and the hologram disappeared. In an instant, the diminutive engineer skidded through a veil of AEGIS sparks, his boots failing to find purchase on the slick deck. He tripped, fell forward, and loped on all fours until he sprung to his feet and snatched the luminescent object away.

"Aaah, yesss. This shooould be just enaaawf," he gurgled, staring at it greedily. He tapped a few buttons on his AEGIS quickly and vanished, though Hermione could swear she still heard his ridiculous accent floating on the air. She blinked, stunned by the bizarre course of events. Artemis gestured forward, and the two walked to the front of the bridge. It took them some time to get there, but upon arriving, a massive blue orb rose into view over the seemingly-infinite deck of the ship.

"Oh… that's Earth. Or, _an _Earth. It really is beautiful."

"That it is, Mrs. Granger. But our struggle is for more than that planet, which even across so many universes we call home. No, the fate of the metaverse is at stake. _That _is why your mission was of utmost importance."

A vast mecha, still impossibly small next to the ship, descended and began to weld a segment of armor plate to the hull.

"She's not quite ready yet," said a voice from behind. Artemis turned, and Hermione jumped, to face the new arrival. It was a young woman, of a slender-yet-curvaceous build. Her long red hair had been tied back in a way that seemed only marginally more practical, and her Illuminati uniform hung undone down to her waist. Hermione questioned the feasibility of a flame-pattern bikini top in space, but remained silent.

"Hermione, this is Yoko Littner, this vessel's executive officer. Have you two met?"

"Briefly," said the witch. "Last time, she was older… and more clothed."

"It's my ship, I can wear what I want while I command it," snarled Yoko with a hearty chuckle.

"You had better be careful," joked Artemis. "You wouldn't want Regulations to catch wind of this."

"Regulations are a bunch of useless arrogant pricks that can't let a fork get set on the wrong side of a plate. If it were up to me, I'd have them booted off of this ship. Let 'em regulate a vacuum."

"But it is not up to you, Yoko," replied the young man. "Your duties are the operation of this craft, which will serve as our base from this time onward. Management of the divisions, including Regulations, is the task of Chief Program Coordinator Harhui Suzumiya. All complaints may be addressed to her."

"Can't take a joke, can you? Jeez."

Artemis plugged a few coordinates into his AEGIS.

"I'm afraid I need to go and supervise Engineering's new project. I'll leave you two for now." He tapped the final button and began to dissolve into azure flickers. "And I assure you I can take a joke," he finished as he warped away.

Yoko crossed over to the glass- Hermione was certain it wasn't glass, because using glass in a vessel like this would be silly- and looked out at the under-construction ship, and her home planet beyond.

"So… you saw them? Are they… okay?"

Hermione gave a shallow nod. "They seemed to be taking everything in stride. They sounded like a couple of jokesters."

"That's them all right," Yoko sighed. "They were my closest friends, you know."

"Right," confirmed Hermione. She looked back at the executive officer and remembered that she had an important question. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you get… young?"

"Research and Development came up with it. They've got The Doctor's machine hooked up to this old girl," she explained, patting the glass. "It emits an excess of 'Time Vortex' energy. Normally, the stuff's pretty dangerous and unpredictable, but we've got the best scientists in the metaverse. They came up with a way to direct tiny amounts into morphing bodies back into those from earlier in the time-stream. As you can see, it works pretty well."

"You don't say. What does one have to do to get this treatment?"

Yoko shrugged. "I saw them setting it up, and I asked what it was. They told me. I asked if I could test it out for them, and they said sure."

Hermione snatched Yoko's AEGIS and held it up in front of her face.

"Where? Is? It?"

"Easy, easy. I'll give you the coordinates. What's the rush?"

"I can't keep fighting like this. I'm going to get myself killed. Any edge would be useful, and-"

"The husband's complaining?"

Hermione fired off a punch that could be heard from across the room. Yoko spun in place a few times before she hit the ground.

"Jeez," gasped Yoko, placing a hand on the deck to push herself up. "I really struck a nerve, didn't I? I've got to remind myself that I'm not hanging out with a bunch of boys anymore."

Hermione staggered back, shocked by her own action. "I… I didn't… I'm sorry-"

"Don't be sorry," said Yoko, wiping a trail of blood from the corner of her mouth. "I crossed a line I shouldn't have. And besides, I'll pay it back. As the captain, I get to slap around my subordinates all I like!"

Hermione began to believe that she wanted to serve some other trans-dimensional organization. Yoko typed in a few digits on the woman's AEGIS, and walked back toward the tiller. A group of janitorial Reis rushed to where she had fallen, wielding their mops and buckets.

"Make sure you leave a little, so I can look down and remember not to make that mistake again!" she called to one of the passing girls. The Rei stopped, giving Yoko a dumbfounded, distant stare.

_Nobody laughs at all._


	4. Replacement

"Dio. It's about time you made it here."

The vampire knelt before the Master of Games, who nervously cast his eyes about the common hall.

"My liege, is it safe?"

"For now it is. But we don't have much time. This will be your replacement for Ryuko."

With a snap of the man's fingers, a girl wandered out of the crowd, taking a bow. Her unruly hair fell over her face as she bowed, and something glowed through the ebony strands. She straightened herself up and tucked her locks back over her shoulder, cinching up her tie and smoothing a pleat in her skirt.

"Pleased to meet you, Lord Dio," she said. Her voice was not one that betrayed any malice or evil intent.

"With all due respect, my liege, is this the best you could do?"

The girl seemed distracted, and did not seem to take offense at Dio's remark.

"Whatever do you mean?" stammered the Master of Games.

"Well, I lost a teenaged schoolgirl, and you gave me… another teenaged schoolgirl."

"Do you realize the percentage of the fighters here that are teenaged schoolgirls? If it came to a vote, I think they'd have a slight majority."

"Fine, fine. What does she do?"

"Her hair is alive."

To demonstrate, her hair immediately sprouted several long, curved strands, which began to twitch with what did seem to be life. A thin row of shining white spikes emerged where one would expect a headband, and two glittering orbs popped open along next to them, focusing burning red irises on Dio.

"Is this the guy?" growled something as the white spikes moved back and forth.

"Oh, it's a _mouth._ And _eyes_," noted Dio.

"Yes, Samson," said the girl. "Please behave."

"I'm not concerned about _my _behavior," grunted the girl's hair.

"Let me get this straight," said Dio to the Master of Games. "She's a schoolgirl, and she fights using a symbiotic relationship with a darkly-colored quasi-organic being bonded to her body, that happens to have red eyes and some semblance of a mouth."

The Master of Games nodded.

"Kid, what can you tell me about your mother?"

The girl blinked vacantly. "I… I can't remember anything about her."

"So what you've done here, my liege, is given me _exactly_ the same thing as Ryuko."

The kingly figure held a finger up. "But she fights with her hair."

"You couldn't have come up with anything else?"

"You were the one who wanted a replacement."

"Lord Dio, I'll show you just what I'm capable of. I promise, I won't let you down," she said, giving another bow.

"Okay. Whatever. What's your name?"

"Call me Filia."

"Very well then, Filia," sighed Dio. "Welcome aboard."


	5. The Idea Elf

Holly noticed something distinctly different about the prep room. It certainly looked the same, and it had all of her typical gear; but it had been a while since she last saw it filled with other people. All of her conspirators stood alongside her, nervously looking about while collecting their equipment.

"That's new. Or old, I suppose," she muttered, locking her utility belt into place.

Katniss picked up a clunky-looking collapsible bow, and slung it over the back of her angular black armor. "When was the last time this happened? On that first city round, right?"

"I do believe so. Now when did you get those duds? That looks like some serious fighting gear."

"It's my old Mockingjay Armor. Reinforced carbon-fiber with modular hardpoints and an electroactive polymer sub-layer, optimized for long-range engagements, freedom of movement, and close-quarters defense. Or that's what the tech guys always said."

"But not a Life Fiber in sight," chuckled Ryuko, who did not have much equipment to grab. "It can look pretty, but without that kind of power, it's a glorified Halloween costume."

"Oh yeah?" grinned Katniss, motioning for Ryuko to prove her point. Ryuko stepped forward, raising a fist. She slowly moved it along its trajectory a few times, demonstrating how she would attack. She paused for a moment, then whipped her other hand forward along a totally different route, in a low gut punch. Katniss' armored hand intercepted Ryuko's, catching it centimeters from her body.

"Not bad," scoffed the girl in the sailor suit. "But I wasn't really trying."

"I know," acknowledged Katniss. "I'd be dead if you were."

Ruby shook her head, giving an exasperated sigh. "If you guys are done having your bro-ment, do we want to figure out _why_ we're all here?"

"Because we're on a team, obviously," said Ryuko.

"But in a majority of the previous rounds, the Master of Games had us assemble our teams in the arena," grunted Katniss, clipping a magazine of rifle rounds into a storage compartment. "So why did he switch back to the old way of doing things?"

"I am not sure," muttered Adam. "If we already have not only our equipment, but our allies, are we not at an unfair advantage?"

"Unfair advantage! That's it!" Holly shouted, finding her answer.

"Care to explain for us laymen?" groaned Ryuko.

"The Master of Games' evil team! They always were grouped together at the start of each round! It was to give them an advantage!"

"But… I don't want to be evil!" cried Ruby, throwing herself into Adam's arms.

"I do not think Holly implies that we are evil, Ruby," said the artificial man.

"No, we're certainly not evil as far as I'm aware," continued the elf. "But he may _want_ us to accomplish our goal."

"He wants to find out whatever Twilight knows, too," whispered Katniss. Holly nodded.

"Well… should we just go ahead and do it?" asked Ryuko. "I mean, he's not exactly our friend in all of this."

Holly clipped her helmet into place. "If what she's hiding is important enough that _he _wants to know, I think that's all the better of a reason we need. Any other pressing questions?"

"Only one I can think of," said Ruby. "How are we supposed to find the VIWs?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," replied Holly. "But if we've got this advantage, I say we use it to cut down as many teams as possible until questions start getting answered."

Ryuko laughed. "You know what? I do enjoy you as team leader."

"Have I ever really been team leader? Or am I the person we go to for ideas? I think I like that better. I'm the _idea_ elf."

"Yep, really smart. Full of ideas. A great leader."

Holly detected a hint of sycophancy in Ryuko's voice.

"What do you want?"

"Well…" The girl tapped her foot against the pedestal her scissor blade had been sitting on, and it slowly slid out of the way. She reached into the recess, and with minimal effort, removed an entire motorcycle. It was a simple, red affair with a short windscreen and a small fairing.

"I was wondering if I could… you know… do some reconnaissance?"

Holly blinked. "What just happened, here?"

"Ryuko pulled some sort of machine out of the floor," responded Katniss earnestly.

"You've never seen a motorcycle?" asked Ruby of Katniss. "They're really pretty common."

"I have not seen one before either," stated Adam.

"Fine. Here's what you can do," sighed Holly. "We don't want to completely lose the advantage we've got with a complete team. You can go if you take someone with you. It'll have to be someone small."

"I'm sticking with Adam," said Ruby.

"And I'm certainly not letting him on _my_ bike," said Ryuko. "No offense," she added.

"None taken," he replied.

Holly scratched her head. "That leaves us with Katniss, then." She turned to the girl in the dark armor, who was still staring at the motorcycle as if it were some sort of dangerous animal. "What's your opinion?"

Katniss looked up from the machine. "Well… Ryuko's pretty tough, so I'm not too concerned with getting hurt. But what benefit would sending out two of us have?"

"Simple," explained Holly. "You two can find a few fighters and lure them back to us. Then we put them down as a team."

"It doesn't seem half-bad," mused Ryuko, nodding her head in approval. "But I'm down for anything as long as I get to use this _sweet, sweet _ride."

"Okay, then . That's the plan. Ruby and Adam will stick with me."

The empty white wall across from them split in half, retracting into the ceiling and floor to reveal their arena. It was a city, for sure; lined with low apartments and shops, and towering skyscrapers. The room had opened directly onto a street, neat with blacktop and signage. Along the sidewalks, trees were planted at regular intervals, and the sun hung just on the horizon in a brilliant orange sky. Something about it seemed different from the first city arena Holly had encountered. Everything about it seemed more… genuine.

"Let's do this," said the elf, waving her allies forward. Ryuko hopped onto her bike, motioning for Katniss to do the same. She was halfway through straddling the seat when Ryuko hit the ignition, the growl of the exhaust causing Katniss to throw herself backwards onto the floor. The girl got up and cautiously mounted the bike again, and the two roared off down the street.

"Okay. Now that they're gone, we need to establish high ground," grunted Holly, engaging her mechanical wings.

"Right," said Ruby. "So… we should go to that building over there?"

The building she indicated was of medium height, and certainly didn't seem to be of any superb architectural fortitude. It was large in size, however, and was adorned with brightly-colored neon signs.

"That's a shopping mall," said Holly flatly.

"Exactly," giggled Ruby.


	6. Kid Granger Saga

The spinning- it wasn't natural. Nothing about it would have been, of course. But that was the worst feeling. She was standing perfectly still, or as still as she could when she felt like this, but it seemed as though she was spinning. It wasn't dizziness, where one feels as though their body remains unstable and in motion. No, Hermione was sure it was not dizziness. It was deeper than that- every element of her body- every organ, every cell- she could feel them twirling in place.

"Vortex dissipation complete," confirmed one of the Reis in the typical breathy monotone. She tapped a few keys on her console, and the control rods near the top of Hermione's tank began to retract. She fell forward, unable to keep herself upright any longer. Her forehead tapped the glass, which exploded outward. She collapsed onto the metal floor.

"What?!" shouted one of the Reis, conveying some sort of emotion. "How did she just break through?"

"She is not stable!" cried another. "Get a Tricorder reading!"

"There's no need for a Tricorder reading," said Artemis, walking serenely into the dimly-lit room. Hermione could see the calm on his face through the dull gold glow that covered everything in her vision.

"…What's… happening… to me?" she wheezed.

"You've received a slight overdose of Time Vortex energy. Normally, this would be fatal, but thanks to the application method we've designed, it should have little effect on your health."

"Everything's… bloody… _spinning,_" Hermione gasped.

"In a few minutes, it will stop. Then you'll be headed straight to training."

"T…training? I… need a… medical bay!"

"Mrs. Granger, I'm sorry I was not able to inform you of the plan any earlier. We are using you as a testbed to analyze the effectiveness of Time Vortex energy as a performance modification for our agents."

Hermione found the strength to push herself up off of the floor, as the pain began to subside. As she stood, she noticed something odd about Artemis. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

"So you're going to make this into a drug, and I'm the guinea pig?" she said, a little disgusted. She must have drawn her breath wrong as she said it, because it came out more like a squeak.

"Right on one account. You are the guinea pig, but I won't move ahead with the experiment if your results are less than optimal."

"I didn't want to become your pet project, Fowl. I just didn't want to get myself killed."

"I don't want to see you dead, either. That's why I did this, Mrs. Granger. Now, you may want to put this on," he said, drawing a tightly-folded uniform from behind his back. Hermione took it- realizing she hadn't been clothed this whole time- and began to put it on, until she noticed the tag.

"Artemis, this will never fit me. It's too small."

"I think you will find that it fits you perfectly, Mrs. Granger. Your AEGIS is already on the right arm, and I've programmed the coordinates of your trainer. If you feel like anything is going wrong, make sure to contact the head of Research."

With that, he activated his AEGIS and warped away.

_Fits me perfectly, my arse. I haven't worn this size since I was-_ two and two were put together. _He seemed taller, didn't he?_

Hermione scurried over to one of the Reis, who did not seem particularly disturbed by being accosted by a naked test subject. She held out a hand, measuring from the top of the blue-haired girl's head to hers.

_Taller. She's taller, too._

She then rushed to the side of her tank, which still had enough intact glass to view a reflection.

"Oh, god. I'm a sodding _kid."_

"Now who is 'suave'?" whispered one of the lab Reis, with the slightest hint of spite. She packed up some paperwork and left the lab with the few others, leaving Hermione alone with the shattered glass and her new uniform. Hermione gave herself another look, and began to slip into her clothing.

_I haven't looked like this since I was twelve or so. All things considered, it could be worse. I could be eight. Or a newt. I really wouldn't want to be a newt. _

She locked her AEGIS down over her arm and watched the device boot up, giving her a message that new coordinates had been added.

_I guess I had better get ready for training. Knowing Artemis, it won't be anything ordinary._

She was right. The coordinates took her to an area of the ship she wasn't familiar with- though she wasn't familiar with most of it, this deck in particular seemed strange. The design was radically different from the bridge or science decks. It must have been part of the modular storage sections she had overheard some Reis discussing. It certainly looked modular, with big blocky seams connecting segments that ran up and down the hallway. In front of her, squarely in the middle of its module, stood a door. A white piece of paper had been tacked onto it unceremoniously, and scrawled across it in rough pencil were the words

**MARTIAL ARTS TRAINING  
INQUIRE WITHIN**

_Artemis, you dumb clod. What am I supposed to do with martial arts? Why can't you just have me train with a proper witch or wizard? Is that too much to ask? Furthermore, why would he send me to some sort of unsanctioned training as opposed to something through the actual program? Does Regulations even know this exists? If they did, they'd surely have something to say about it._

Regardless of her misgivings, Hermione knew that following orders was probably the wise thing to do. If she did what the big man (or at least, _now_ he was bigger) said, she might have a chance to get back to normal. She cautiously walked to the door, and gave it a knock. As soon as her hand touched the door, it gave a little- it was open. Hermione paused for a moment, waiting for a response. No one spoke, so she slowly, quietly pushed through.

The room was well-lit, but that certainly didn't make it an attractive place by any means. It was huge, as the storage modules were said to be, but it was quite empty. There were exactly two things in the room. Toward the center of the room, and just to the left, was a glass of water. To its right was its owner, who floated just above the floor. The man seemed to be meditating, as his arms were curved in toward his chest and his legs were folded over each other. He was dead silent- his cape, which flowed out from his oversized shoulder-pads, made more noise billowing softly underneath him than he did. He was clearly no ordinary human, of that Hermione was sure. Pointed ears and green skin did not a _homo sapiens _make.

"Um… excuse me?"

The man did not seem to acknowledge Hermione's presence. At her own risk, she slowly trod into the room.

_Let's see here. Artemis nearly gets me killed, turns me into a child, and sends me to practice martial arts with a green man in the basement. If so much weren't at stake, I'd clobber him._

When she was about fifty feet from the man, she attempted to make contact again.

"Sir? Do you… do martial arts?"

The man made a sound, a simple, defiant grunt.

"Is that a yes?"

"I 'do' martial arts, all right," he replied. His voice was a deep, nearly animalistic growl. "But not for you."

"What? Artemis sent me here to-"

Without warning, the man disappeared from where he had been floating and reappeared directly in front of Hermione, arms crossed and scowling.

"_One,_" he growled. "You're a little girl. I don't train little girls."

"Okay, I'm not actually a-"

"_TWO,"_ he continued, fuming, "you wear the tool of the oppressor."

"The _what?_"

He made a motion as if he was about to strike Hermione across the face, but the second he lifted his hand up, he held what he had snatched. Her Scouter. He waved it in front of her.

"They used these to kill everyone on my home planet."

"I'm _sorry_, it's standard issue! All of the Trans-Dimensional Analysts have one!"

"Too bad," he said, crushing it in his hand like it was made of paper. "Go get a new one."

"That's IT!" roared Hermione, who had finally had enough. "I've been knocked off of buildings, almost vaporized, subjected to science projects, turned into a kid, ordered to learn martial arts, and now I'm being harassed by a giant green elf! I've HAD IT!" She stamped one of her feet, which drove a dent through the metal paneling.

"Oh… oh, I didn't mean to do that," she stammered, her anger fading into fear.

"Okay, kid. That's impressive," said the green man. "Do you have any idea the kind of power you just demonstrated?"

"I… I broke the floor," gasped Hermione.

"That's not what I'm interested in. When you got yourself angry… there was a huge surge of latent ki energy. How does a kid like you pull that off? You're no Saiyan."

"What? Ki energy? But I thought they used Time Vortex energy…"

"Listen, I don't care how you got this way. You've got potential."

"That was a pretty quick change of heart, Mr…?"

The man chuckled a little, then giggled, then guffawed in riotous laughter.

"Kids these days. Kids these days! Har har har!"

"Uh, sir?"

"Listen up, kid-"

"_I _have a name, just like you do. It's not 'kid', it's _Hermione Granger._ Get it straight because I'm not repeating it."

"Whew," said the man, calming down from his laughing fit. "It's just hilarious, that you think I've had a change of heart."

"Wait, what?"

"That's right. I really have better things to do with my time than train some bratty little girl."

"But didn't you just say I had potential?"

"I did. You've got a lot of potential. For whatever reason, you're incredibly adept at channeling your ki. That's something even most adults can't master."

"Again, I'm not actually a kid."

"Whatever, kid. Just because you've got potential doesn't mean that I want to train you."

"_Sempre Secum,"_ said Hermione, discreetly waving her wand at a point behind the green man.

"What was that gibberish about?" he growled down at her.

"Well, you seem to be a fan of water. In fact, considering that the only item you have in this room- which I assume is your living quarters, considering that you've written a sign to hang on the door and its secluded nature would benefit your meditation- is a glass of water," explained Hermione, "I would say that you subsist entirely on it. Water is your only source of nutrition."

The huge green man seemed a little flustered, his bravado broken.

"Y-yeah, we Namekians only need water to survive. So what?"

"Well, I've just placed a charm on your glass of water back there that prevents it from holding any liquid."

"What?!"

"That's right. You can't get any more water, not from that glass. It's completely useless. And considering your _distinct _lack of social skills, getting a different cup to replace it would be quite the chore. You'd have to leave your precious meditation, you'd have to find your way through this labyrinthine ship- considering you don't have an AEGIS- and you'd actually have to develop the manners to ask someone to give you a glass. I don't think you're up to it, you _slob."_

The man was stunned. "I… I… I don't…"

"No, you do," smirked Hermione. "I'll lift that charm. Just as soon as you agree to train me."

The man looked around, as if he was checking to see if anyone was watching. He then looked back down at the girl and sighed.

"Fine. You've got me. I'll train you. It'd be a shame to let that power go to waste, anyway," he grumbled.

"Good," chirped Hermione with a smug grin. "Now, I'd really like to know your name."

He grunted, flexed his muscles, and was instantly surrounded by a mirage-like aura of superheated air. The blast from its appearance forced Hermione back a few steps, and made her draw an arm across her face to protect it from the stinging wind. The man floated aloft, carrying his aura with him, and came to a stop halfway between the floor and ceiling.

"The name's Piccolo, kid."

"_Granger,_" she yelled back up, perturbed. "_Hermione Granger!"_

"Whatever. Kid Granger."

"Ugh," she grunted.

Piccolo shook his head and smiled.

"Okay. We're going to start with the basics. How are you at dodging?"

"Dodgi-?" she barely had time to disapparate away before a blast of energy from Piccolo's hands scorched the panel on which she had been standing.

_It's going to be a long day,_ she thought.


	7. Honorable Defeat

A slight breeze picked up a piece of paper trash and sent it scooting along the basketball court, until it ran into the chain-link fence. For a moment, it clung to the metal, its little arms flapping, trying to get a grip. But the breeze died down, and the paper floated to the ground, defeated.

"Across a strange field- living paper runs away- a futile escape." Date Masamune tilted his _kabuto_ forward a little, letting the visor droop over his one good eye. Underneath the armor's shadow, he could still see the girl standing impatiently across the court.

"Is poetry the only reason you called me over here? I have more important things to do than listen to poetry." Mikasa let her hands rest on her swords' handles, which protruded from the front of her 3DMG. The breeze returned, tossing the end of her scarf idly.

Date chuckled, scratching the edge of his moustache. "To think that this is a city. How wondrous they will become, no?"

"That's enough. I'm leaving. Just be glad I didn't kill you." She turned around, aiming her 3DMG at a nearby rooftop.

The samurai sighed. "The youth these days. Always in a rush. They will not even stay put for a fight."

Mikasa spun on her heels, facing Date again. "Oh, really?"

"I don't think I have much chance of reaching my team in a big place like this," he explained. "I would rather have one fair battle, than be ambushed as I wander aimlessly. I have seen you fight, young one. You have much promise. I wish to fight you- if I lose, it would be an honor to die by your blade."

_I never really thought about how difficult it is for the fighters on foot to get around, especially in a large arena like this,_ Mikasa thought. _Then again, it won't be too easy for me to find _my _team, either. If I had met at our table instead of training, maybe I would have overheard the plan for this round. Looks like I'll be doing things the hard way._

"Fine. I accept your challenge. But I'm not going to go easy on you."

"And neither will I," said Date, sliding his katanaout of its sheath.

Mikasa dropped down into a crouch and exploded forward, pushing away from the pavement with blistering speed. She drew her swords, and raised them both over her left shoulder, preparing for a horizontal slash. She saw the samurai take a step backward, shuffling his feet slightly.

_What's he up to?_

The scout released the potential energy she had stored in her muscles, and her blades ripped through the air toward their target. In an instant, the air would be filled with the sound of shattering metal and tearing flesh… but those sounds never came. Mikasa felt her swords jump in her hands as a pure, resonating tone echoed across the drab pavement. Her swords had been stopped, both blades serenely still against Date's katana.

"W…what?" she gasped, stunned that his defense actually worked. "How? You're just a normal human. That sword isn't special, either!"

Date gave a strained smile. "You're very strong- that much is clear. But you are not trained in fighting other swordsmen." He rotated his sword so it pointed toward the ground, then tilted it backwards, causing Mikasa's blades to slide off and crash into the ground. With a flick of his wrist, his katana was at the back of her neck.

"Again," he said. "This time, focus on technique."

"I thought you said you weren't going to go easy on me," huffed Mikasa, feeling the cold metal at her back. "Why don't you kill me now?"

"I told you. I do not have any hope to win. I desire an honorable defeat, and I intend on receiving one at your hands. If it means I teach you a few lessons, so be it."

He withdrew his sword and took a few steps back, once again returning to his ready-position. Mikasa picked herself up, gripping her swords tighter than before. She rushed him again, swinging from the right this time. Again, Date lifted his sword, blocking an attack that _should _have broken through his defense. As soon as the swords connected, Mikasa leapt back, avoiding making the same mistake twice. Date stepped forward as Mikasa retreated, now on the offensive. For the briefest moment, she saw his remaining eye scan her sword, before he pressed his weapon against hers- preventing her from attacking.

"You may be fast and strong, but if you do not know how to fight your enemy as an equal, one day you will fail."

Mikasa knew she could push his sword away at any time- the gap in strength between him and her was wide. But she waited, knowing that the man was in full preacher-mode. He continued his sermon.

"You see, there is more to a swordfight than fluidity, and the power behind one's blade. A battle always comes down to physical ability and skill, and often is a conflict between the two. Physical ability helps, but the warrior who uses their skill to the fullest always has an edge over brute force."

Mikasa slowly eased back on her swords, letting the katana inch closer. For a moment, Date applied more pressure to his blade-that was her chance. Mikasa dropped to the ground, rolling forwards. The samurai stumbled forward, no longer having an opponent to lean into. He twisted around in time to block another one of Mikasa's all-out slashes.

"If you're going to teach me lessons, tell me something I don't know," she growled. "Like how you can block this!"

"Simple science," said Date. "A katana is a curved blade, like an arch. It is an architecturally stable structure. An arch is capable of supporting a great deal of pressure. Every slash with a sword has a fast and slow portion- a blade travels fastest at its tip, and slowest at its base. By placing the most convex- and therefore, most stable- part of my sword at the slowest point of your swing, I can then move the blade up and hold your strike back."

"You put that much thought into it?"

"That is how skill can match physical ability."

Mikasa hopped backwards again, keeping one sword forward to hold Date at bay. With the other, she blocked his counter-attack.

"Okay," she grunted. "I'll believe that's what's keeping your sword from shattering. But how can you hold my attacks back? I'm stronger than you, I know it!"

"That is simple," said the samurai. "Proper footing."

Mikasa flicked her wrist, knocking his sword back. He assumed his ready-stance again, keeping his sword up. The scout's eyes flickered with understanding as the wind caught her scarf again.

"Date Masamune, I've learned my lesson."

"Then show me."

Mikasa nodded, and took off running in the opposite direction. At full speed, the scout was a khaki blur. She had her target clearly in sight- the ball court had two goals, each taller than the high chain-link fence. The scout jumped upward, arcing toward the one closest to her. She tucked her legs in, rotating in mid-jump- the samurai now directly below and ahead. Her feet touched the backboard, and her curled-in legs erupted with their full force, pushing her away at inhuman speed. The goal itself gave out behind her, its tall post bending against the force of her lower body. With split-second reflexes, Mikasa extended her swords to her sides, twisting herself into a high-g spin.

_I picked up this one from that sulky captain of mine. This ought to do it._

Her swords became a vortex of death, a thin disc of reinforced metal rending the air asunder. Date extended his katana to block, but it became trapped in the spinning swords. It was ripped from his hand and flung across the court, as Mikasa's tornado tilted along its horizontal axis. There was a brief bark as metal met metal, and a warm splatter as blood was propelled by the hurricane of blades. Mikasa twisted her body in the opposite direction, halting her attack. She landed, and stumbled from dizziness.

_I… I did it._

She turned and confirmed that she had indeed defeated Date. He knelt on the ground, right arm severed from his body. He held his remaining hand over the wound, though it wasn't much use.

"W-well, that's it then. You… ruined my footing… and stopped me from blocking...gah! Good… job. If… youaaghhh… could bring me my sword-ack!- I would appreciate it."

Mikasa regained her balance and sprinted across the court, snatching the dying man's sword and carrying it back to him. She placed it at his knees, and he nodded to acknowledge his thanks.

"Before… I go," he said weakly, "I want you to think about _why _you fight… you say you must… fight, to survive… but consider… those that fight for more than that… oh!"

Mikasa frowned. "I'm fighting because that's how you get by. If you don't you die. What part of that don't you understand?"

"I… understand," he gasped. "But… is it not nobler… to fight… to make a difference? Isn't that… what your friend… would have wanted?"

"Do you mean Eren? Is that who you mean? Do I really talk about him that much?"

The samurai did not answer her question. He picked up his sword and jammed it under his armor and through his stomach.

"Goodbye," he coughed as he pulled the blade back out. He set it on the ground in front of him, and as he collapsed, he gave it a push. It slid until it bumped into Mikasa's boots.

_He wanted me to have it? It would be rude to turn down a dying man's request, I guess._

She picked up the sword and found a patch of unruly grass growing in a crack in the court's pavement. She wiped the blade clean on the foliage and returned to Date's body, which was sitting in quite an impressive puddle of blood. Mikasa carefully unfastened the sword's sheath and tied it down to her 3DMG's left box, making sure that it didn't interfere with the cables or launchers. She turned and fired her anchors at the top of a five-story apartment nearby, clicked the triggers, and flung herself upward. Mikasa spun to look down at the court as she landed, watching the red splotch in the middle grow slowly.

_The man was convinced he had no hope of winning, yet still told me that my reason to fight was wrong. How can he claim to be right? In order to survive, one must fight. That is what a fight is, after all- it is the barest, most primal form of survival. 'Fight to make a difference'. It's possible, but not practical. The world is too large a dark room for a small light to illuminate. Why am I waxing poetic all of a sudden? Is it this sword? I sure hope not._

Something small interrupted her train of thought by falling onto her head. It bounced as it hit, which at least ruled out bird droppings. Mikasa channeled her annoyance into snatching it out of the air, not giving it a chance to touch the ground. She cupped it in her hands, examining it closely. It was something weighty wrapped in white paper- a little unraveling revealed it to be a pink, heart-shaped metal emblem, with gold trim.

_What's this supposed to be? It certainly doesn't have anything to do with Date. Or me, for that matter._

A closer look revealed that there was text on the paper, reading

**SECOND STREET BALLROOMS**

_I'd bet that's where one of the VIWs is. I need to find my team before I try anything, though. Who knows how dangerous they could be? _

Mikasa slipped the paper and the heart into a pocket. She crossed the roof, contemplating the path she would take along the streets and above the roofs.

"Crazy samurai," she muttered. "Thinks he knows how to fight well. I sure did show him." She paused for a moment, and did some counting. "Wait… that's…. _oh, no._"


	8. Testing Services

"Man, you know who would love this?"

Katniss had more pressing concerns than who would 'love' the current situation. She was tucked on the back of a thin, growling machine made of hot metal, leaning back and forth at terrifying angles to round corners, and being forced to cling to the operator of said machine for dear life. It was not something she could imagine anyone 'loving', even though Ryuko really did seem to be enjoying herself.

"NO," she shouted over the roar of the air travelling past and the scream of the motorcycle beneath. "WHO?"

"Mikasa," replied Ryuko. "I mean, recon is her _thing._ If she were here, she'd… she'd say something like, 'Kill all Titans', or 'If you don't fight, you die', or 'lacerations', or something. That Mikasa, what a riot."

Katniss would have laughed, but the bike picked that exact moment to stop working, catastrophically. The front tire suddenly burst, and the bike began to swerve out of control.

"Hold on!" urged Ryuko, which was exactly what Katniss was already doing. Ryuko drew her Scissor Blade from a pocket on her skirt, and the tiny half-scissor grew into its normal, sword-like size. She jammed the weapon into the street below, which prompted the bike to stop instantaneously. Katniss, on the other hand, did not, and flipped over Ryuko's back to faceplant in the street.

"Are you OK?" shouted Ryuko to her comrade. Katniss dusted herself off, scrambling back to Ryuko and the bike.

"I'm fine. The armor took most of the impact."

"Good," replied Ryuko as she drew the bolt across her glove, causing her outfit to transform into its unpractical-looking combat mode. "Whoever did this is nearby. Get ready."

Katniss unlocked the bow that was collapsed on the back of her armor, and it unfolded automatically in her hand. Another panel on the armor unfolded, and her quiver of standard arrows rotated into place along her back. She strung one and began to scan for targets. They were in what would have equated to a bad part of town, but since the city was empty, it was just a patch of tightly-packed, cheap-looking apartments, huddled on the edges of a winding road. Street lamps coated the area in a dull yellow light, turning the crumbling sidewalks and sketchy buildings into shoddy-looking gold ingots.

"Hey!" shouted Ryuko. "I know you're out there somewhere! You want to own up for wrecking my bike? I don't have any extra tires, so the whole thing's useless now!"

"Don't bother," whispered Katniss. "They're not just going to show themselves."

"I know that. But you'd feel really stupid if they got the drop on you, and you didn't say anything to 'em first, you know?"

"Um… sure?"

Ryuko knelt down by her ruined front tire, examining the damage.

"Oh, hell," she said, removing something from the shredded tire. She held it up for Katniss to see- it was an ornately-carved knife that was all too familiar.

"Did someone say, 'useless'?" said Dio, appearing out of thin air to snatch the knife from Ryuko's hand. The girl jumped backwards, as Katniss trained her sights on the vampire.

"Dio, you bastard!" roared Ryuko, literally glowing with anger. The red lining on Senketsu began to pulsate with bright pink. "I haven't forgotten how you used me!"

"Is that so?" said Dio, twirling the knife in his hand.

"Yeah," Ryuko snapped. "I'm sensitive about people poking about in my head!"

"And I suppose you want to settle it here?" he replied, grinning.

_Ryuko, calm down. There's no need to get so worked up over him,_ said Senketsu.

"Yeah, yeah, you're right," exhaled the girl to her outfit. "Dio, maybe I don't need to settle anything with you. But if you try anything right now, Katniss and I will rip you to shreds."

"That's fine," chuckled Dio. "I'm not here to fight you. I have a more important mission. No, I'm here to give an exam."

"An… exam?" asked Katniss, still aiming an arrow at Dio's face.

"That's right," oozed the vampire. "I've got a new… apprentice. And she's just dying to meet you, Ryuko."

A small figure leapt from a nearby rooftop, landing next to Dio. It was a girl, seemingly around the same age as Ryuko or Katniss. She, too wore a school uniform, though one of a distinctly more western origin, complete with a beige blouse and neatly-cinched tie. She rubbed her hands together excitedly, eyeing Ryuko and Katniss more like puppies than potential threats.

"So you're Ryuko, huh?" she giggled, biting her lip in an awkward manner.

"Well, who else would I be?"

"No- it's just- I figured you'd look a little more threatening. Not like a wardrobe malfunction that crashed into a hair dye store."

Katniss re-trained her bow on the newcomer as Ryuko's outfit began to vent steam and glow again.

"I'll leave you girls to settle things. Filia, you'll pass the exam if you can get back to me alive. Take care," smirked the vampire, disappearing the same way he had appeared. Ryuko lowered the tip of her Scissor blade in the direction of the girl.

"You're gonna be sorry that you said that," growled the wearer of Senketsu, wreathed in vapor. She indicated with her free hand that Katniss should leave. "Get out of here. This just became _my _fight, and I don't want you getting caught in the crossfire."

Katniss made a displeased-sounding grunt. "It'll be easier to fight her _together_, you know."

"I don't care. I've had enough of people making fun of my best friend, and I'm going to make sure he never has to take that kind of crap again!"

"Your… best friend?" said Katniss, confused.

"I'll explain later, after I RIP THIS BITCH'S HEAD OFF!" roared Ryuko, leaping toward her opponent. Katniss knew better than to stand too close when the Scissor Blade was swinging, and promptly turned tail and ran. She aimed for a particularly-nasty looking apartment building a block away, which she considered a safe distance.

Ryuko swung the Scissor Blade toward the girl's neck, propelling it with all of her rage. The weapon travelled fast enough to whip the surrounding air particles into a high-velocity stream, which itself was sharp enough to remove Filia's head cleanly- if she had not jumped over Ryuko's telegraphed attack. Filia landed with particular grace, and ripped the half-scissor from Ryuko's hand. Or rather, her hair did. Her black locks had lengthened into a prehensile appendage, snagged the weapon at the end of its swing, and snapped it away. The hair dangled the Scissor Blade in front of her face. She examined it briefly, rolled her eyes, and tossed it away, over the rooftops.

"Oh, look at that," said Filia, her hair settling back into a shape resembling an overturned insect. "I pushed the right buttons, and you snapped, just like Dio told me. I guess I'm a little more level-headed."

Ryuko stared in shock at her empty hand, and back at Filia. "Y-you just-"

"You see, Lord Dio doesn't seem to think I can replace you," continued Filia. "So I need to prove my worth by killing you. It's nothing personal, really. I don't even think your outfit looks that bad- perhaps too risqué for my taste, but certainly not-"

A punch to the gut sent Filia crashing into the wall of the apartment across the street, shattering the dull, worn bricks.

"SHUT UP!" screamed Ryuko. "JUST! STOP! TALKING!"

Filia fell from the wall to the ground, coughing up a mouthful of blood. "That's… that's an organ," she wheezed, bringing herself to her feet. She nearly fell over again when she found Ryuko standing directly in front of her.

"Do you know what it feels like," Ryuko seethed, grabbing Filia by the neck and hoisting her into the air, "to stick up for someone, through thick and thin, to always have their back?" She shoved the girl back into the wall, and her hair began to hang more limply. "And then, when you've finally gone through hell and back with them, they're _gone?!_"

Filia made a sound halfway between a squeal and a gasp before she managed to form the word "No."

Her grip around the girl's neck tightened. "Then let me teach you some _sympathy!_" She drove a knee into Filia's stomach, which forced the wall behind her to give out. She fell back into an empty flat, the floor now covered with bricks and drywall.

_"__Senketsu Senjin!"_ hissed Ryuko, and her outfit grew a multitude of blades and spikes. She picked up her foe again and placed her wrist blades- three bright-red razors- underneath Filia's chin.

"When you get the chance, tell Dio that studying for the test doesn't always help!" she screamed, and drove the blades up through Filia's jaw. Ryuko breathed in deeply, then exhaled slowly, removing the blades from the dead girl. Senketsu returned to his normal combat state, and turned a concerned eye to Ryuko from his collar-crest.

_That was close. You almost lost it._

"I know. I'm glad it's over, though."

She stepped through the hole Filia had made in the wall and back out into the street. In the glow of the streetlamps, she could make out Katniss on the roof of a building across the way.

"Ryuko! I've got your sword!" shouted the archer, waving the Scissor Blade above her head.

"Good!" yelled Ryuko in reply. "Send it over!"

Katniss awkwardly strung the oversized scissor on her bow, firing just above and to the right of her ally. Ryuko caught the blade by the handle as it passed, spun it around her wrist a few times, and lodged it in the ground. Katniss flung herself over the edge of the roof, catching a windowsill to slow her descent before landing. She crossed the street, examining the damage Ryuko had done.

"Was all of this…" she said, observing the hole in the wall, "necessary?"

"Maybe not, but… I felt like I had to. For Senketsu."

"You really care about that outfit, huh?"

"He's more than an outfit. He's my best friend."

Katniss collapsed her bow and slung it over her back. "Forgive me, but that's a little hard to believe."

"No, it's true. He's a living thing, with a soul and feelings. He can talk, too, but no one can hear him but me."

"You're not really helping your case."

Ryuko let out a half-laugh-half-sigh. "I guess it sounds pretty crazy to you. It sounded pretty crazy to me, too- when all of it was happening. To make a long story short, I was trying to track down my father's killer, ended up at a seriously screwy school, and got my ass handed to me. That's when I found him, or he found me, or we found each other, or some sort of that sentimental bullshit. With him, I could fight back- and I ended up fighting myself into a mess. I found out a little more than I wanted to about who killed my father, and way more than I wanted to know about myself. But in the end, we pulled through. Senketsu was with me that whole time- even when I didn't think I needed him, even when I didn't want him around. He always had my back. Until-" her voice broke a little.

A gentle hand was placed on her shoulder. Katniss noticed immediately that the fabric- if it could be called that- was hot to the touch. While it certainly surprised her, pulling her hand back would be rude. She kept it planted.

"Don't worry. Go on. I'm listening."

"I…I lost him," Ryuko sobbed. "There… wasn't anything I could do. He knew he had done what he had to, you know? But… It hurt. Without him. So that's why I'm fighting. I don't care if everything else has to be the same… I want him back."

Katniss instantly thought of her father. He could side with scum lower than dirt in order to improve his chances of winning- just to have his little girls back. She knew that love drove people to do things they shouldn't.

"But-" Katniss said gently, "what about now? You have him here. You can talk to him here. Even if you lose, you'll have spent time with him, right?"

"Have you ever thought about what happens if we lose?" sniffled Ryuko. "We could have no memory of what happened. Or we could be killed! No one knows! Why would you ever even consider…" she broke into more bawling. Katniss realized she hadn't really given it too much thought- not for a long while. Since she had met Holly, they had done little other than win, and by impressive margins. Before that, she had been a wreck- but because it was all too familiar. Consequences were an afterthought- the Grand Combat itself was the hateful thing she had screamed herself to sleep about. But… what would happen to the losers? Or would there ever be ones? Katniss couldn't tell how long anyone had been there- the events all seemed clear, but the time between them was a blur. For all she knew, there could be no losers or winners, and it could just go on indefinitely- endless fighting, endless death.

"I'm sorry, I just-"

"No, it's… it's okay," she said, wiping her nose with her Kamui's sleeve. Katniss had to wonder what it thought about that. "I've just got to have hope… that we _can_ win… and when we do, he'll be back. And he'll learn what peace is. Do you know that? He never… ever… knew what it was."

"You're right," Katniss whispered. "We all need something to fight for."

"Awww," said a familiar voice from the rubble. "That's really sweet."

Katniss and Ryuko turned, watching in horror as Filia lifted herself off the ground by her hair, and set her feet on the pavement gently. She ran a hand under her chin, bringing it away smeared in blood. She looked down at it, blinked slowly, and flicked it away.

"That you would do all that for your friend, really sweet. I mean it," she continued, choosing an odd time to try and make amends.

"Don't tell me you're one of those guys who just keep on healing," groaned Katniss.

"Oh, no. I'm not," she chuckled with something between a grin and a grimace. "I can only do this once. Or once per round? I'm not too sure. _God _does this hurt, though." Filia shivered a little, and made small whimpering noises.

Ryuko pulled her Scissor Blade out of the ground, pointing the tip at the girl who should have been dead. "You're going to explain what you're doing. Right now."

"Well, if you really want to know- I was holding back earlier. Not just a little, a lot. I had to, otherwise _this _would happen."

"Okay, what's _this_ then?" growled Ryuko as Katniss knocked an arrow.

The pallor sweeping over the girl's face would have made sense if she was dead like she ought to have been. Her hair began to grow- more than it did before, until the twitching strands began to pile up on the ground. The long locks that curled back like a bug's legs lengthened as well, twisting themselves down, drilling holes into the street. They hoisted Filia upward, her body hanging delicately from the spidery hair-limbs.

"Before I got here, I had the misfortune- heheh- of finding something called the 'Skull Heart'. To make things simple, it's a source of unlimited power and evil. Those who find it end up like this."

"What? With permanent bad-hair days?" snarled Ryuko.

"No, no, no," chuckled Filia with a frown. "Samson is my Parasite. I had him before. No, the Skull Heart turns you into a Skullgirl. I was able to restrain my transformation until you knocked me out… but now you've made things worse for yourself. I've completely absorbed Samson into my physiology now, and I have access to all of his power and more."

"That's all well and good, but at the end of the day, you still fight with hair, and I fight with a scissor."

Filia made a face as though she was about to make a witty retort, paused, shook her head slightly, and released a storm of hair-tendrils toward Ryuko. The Kamui wearer responded by swinging her sword ahead, cutting through several sharply-tipped strands before they could do any damage. But before Ryuko could perform another swing, several snake-like locks curled around the blade, wrenching it from her hands again.

"Sorry," smiled the Skullgirl, her eyes burning red in the dim light. "It's just not fair to let you have that. I'm taking it back." The hair twisted around the blade began to pull it closer, but something caught the weapon, halting the hair's progress. It then jumped backward, slipping out of Filia's grasp and slicing through more hair on its flight back into Ryuko's waiting hand.

"While you were giving your dramatic origin story, I took the time to run one of Senketsu's threads around my Scissor Blade's handle. I'm not going to lose it again." Ryuko took a careful step back, adjusting her stance. She slowly lowered her free hand, and subtly gave Katniss a hand signal. The archer began to back up, toggling a switch between her armor's various quivers.

"I see," noted Filia. "Well, this will _really _prove my worth for Dio. I guess sometimes you have to do things the hard way." She unleashed another barrage of sharpened hair-serpents, and Ryuko responded with uncountable swings of her scissor blade, easily slicing each strand of hair as it approached, only to be replaced by another lock, and then for the replacement to be sliced, and then for the replacement to be replaced…

Katniss was confident that she was out of range of any of Filia's attacks. Not that it mattered, as she seemed fairly distracted by Ryuko- and that was the plan. While their little group had sat idly at their table watching other matches, Holly had devised a standardized set of gesture commands for use in the rounds. Not everyone paid much attention, but evidently Ryuko had. She had flashed the "I'll Distract" sign, which was a complex wiggling of the index and ring fingers, vaguely evocative of someone flailing their arms and yelling. So Ryuko was distracting- her distraction was creating quite a large pile of trimmed hair- and Katniss would deal damage. Filia, whoever she was, should have known better to expect a fair fight when cornering any member of their team. Katniss drew an arrow from the quiver that had rotated up from its locked-and-sealed position on her back. She examined the tip, confirming that it was what she needed. She strung the arrow, aiming down the bow's flip-up telescopic sight. The shot, as always, met its mark, the arrow lodging itself above the doorframe of the apartment that Filia and Ryuko stood in front of dueling.

"It's over, Filia!" shouted Ryuko above the roaring wind produced by her Scissor Blade's slashes.

"Why would it be over? I could keep this up all day."

"Because _detonate_," replied Katniss, as the tiny package of thermite located behind the Skullgirl's head promptly did exactly that. Ryuko had a split second to leap back to avoid being consumed by the inferno that had just claimed their opponent. Filia writhed, screaming as her hair was vaporized by the intense heat- the flames themselves didn't need to touch anything to do their damage, but they went ahead and did so anyway.

"Whoa," gasped Ryuko, shielding her face from the heat. "That's impressive." Katniss did not acknowledge her friend, and instead stared sullenly into the flames.

"It's done," she muttered.

"No… it's… not,_" _coughed Filia from within the blaze. Somehow, she staggered forward, finding the energy to propel herself out of the fire, a stumbling mess of scorched flesh. One last strand of hair was left on her blackened head, trailing limply over her forehead. It slowly stood up, curling itself into a tightly-wound spiral, and shot toward Katniss like an uncoiling spring. The razor-sharp tip dove toward the girl's face, reached the bridge of her nose, and fell away harmlessly. Ryuko pulled her Scissor Blade back to her side, having cleaved Filia's final weapon in twain. Filia, out of options, succumbed to her injuries and collapsed. The two paused, catching their breath as the flames from the incendiary arrow died down.

"We've got to get back," whispered Katniss, looking around as if some solution was nearby. "If we were attacked, the others could be, too. And the bike's ruined, and we're miles away-"

Ryuko wagged a finger. "Chill out. I've got it covered. SENKETSU SHIPPU!"

With those words, her outfit changed forms again. The ridiculously short skirt lengthened into a full- fledged dress, but instead of frills and folds, the pleats now concealed rocket boosters. Senketsu's collar extended out even further into a pair of ailerons. Ryuko hovered steadily over the ground on a jet of energy produced by the multitude of vernier thrusters that poked out underneath her outfit.

"Wait… you can turn into an airplane… but you insisted we use a motorcycle for reconnaissance?" Katniss was puzzled and a little frustrated.

"It was a _nice _motorcycle," explained Ryuko. She picked up Katniss in the least-awkward manner possible (it was still pretty awkward), and blasted off into the night sky.

Dio stepped out of his hiding spot, and knelt next to Filia's corpse.

_A shame she couldn't pull it off. But she did put up a pretty good fight._

He dragged a nail across his arm, and a thin stream of blood trickled out, dripping onto the dead girl's body. Slowly, her burns began to soften back into pink, living flesh; her seared bald head began to produce hair once more. She coughed, sputtered, and was soon on her feet, failing to form sentences.

"How? What? When? This! Alive!"

"Calm down," said the vampire. "Looks like you weren't completely dead after all. Well, not that that matters now."

"I- I- I- I failed," she whimpered, still staring at her suddenly-unburned hands.

"Yes you did. But as I've learned, sometimes it's best to work with what you have. You're in, Filia. Welcome to the King's League."

"That's great, Lord Dio… but what did you do? To me, that is?"

"I poured my blood into your open wounds. You're a vampire like me now."

Filia fell back to the ground, feeling faint.

"You mean… I'm going to be like this _forever?_"

"Oh, no," chuckled Dio. "No, it would take really powerful unholy magic to maintain changes like that between rounds. No, you'll just be a vampire for the rest of this one. "

"Oh! Well, that's not so bad, I suppose."

"Not bad at all. And we'll need your new powers as well as your old ones for our mission."

"What new powers do I have, exactly?"

Dio counted them out on his fingers. "Super strength and speed, regeneration, those eye-beams…"

"Eye… beams?"

"It's very painful. You get used to it after a while."

Filia seemed a little discouraged. "That doesn't sound… wait a second. I'm not a Skullgirl anymore!"

"Well, no," scoffed Dio. "You're a _vampire _now. That's how these things work. Also, turning people to ice."

"No, this is great! I'm not a Skullgirl anymore! Do you know what this means?"

"And sometimes," continued Dio, not listening. "You go, 'wryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy'."

"The curse is broken! I'm freeeeeeeeee!"

"Kind of like that."


	9. Taking a Break

Hermione dodged another punch, apparated behind the Namekian, and swiftly performed the movements for the knockback jinx with her wand.

"_Flippendo!"_ she recited, and the spell propelled Piccolo into the wall of his training room.

"Okay," he grunted, peeling himself off of the hard tiled surface. "You make progress _quick_, kid. You can take a break if you'd like."

"I'll take a break," said Hermione, floating back down to the ground. It was odd, learning to fight entirely while airborne. Levitating with a charm was one thing, levitating with ki energy was another. It was more fluid, more intuitive- which meant it made throwing punches and energy beams easier to do at the same time. "But I'm taking you with me. I have an errand to run."

"No way. I'll get another glass of water later. Leave me alo-"

Piccolo was unable to finish his sentence, as his atoms were simultaneously deconstructed and then reconstructed in the ship's mess hall, with a flourish of bluish sparks. Hermione stood in front of him.

"I'm not here for your water. You can get that yourself. But you're coming with me to get my new Scouter. And to meet people."

Hermione hadn't visited the mess hall much- she had only stopped there once, just before she had her… _operation._ But she knew the person she needed to find would be there. The room was well-lit, and vast; the numbers of the Illuminati had grown significantly, and feeding them was no easy task. A buffet-line at the room's far end supplied a variety of vegetarian meals; to get any real meat you had to have a doctor's excuse. From the little food she had tried, Hermione had discovered that their imitation meats were as good as the real thing, if not better, so she had no reason to complain. She waved Piccolo on, and the green man reluctantly followed her down the aisles of tables. Seated around them were mostly Rei clones, who were dead silent- they either stared blankly at one another or were reading thick-looking books. Where there was noise other than forks and knives skipping across plates, there was discussion. Where there was discussion, there were people other than Rei. And where there were people other than Rei, Hermione found her quarry.

She indicated a table filled with a colorful assortment of characters, and encouraged Piccolo to sit. He did, pushing a girl with long, green ponytails aside to make room for his broad shoulders. Hermione slipped into a seat next to him, apologizing.

"Sorry. He's not so great with people."

"Apology accepted," replied the girl with her pleasant computerized voice. "Initiating reciprocation protocols."

The girl lifted an elbow and precisely nudged Piccolo back. He stared back down at her, dumbfounded. He noticed that she was wearing a Scouter as well.

"What the shell happened to you, Granger?" called a voice from across the table. It was a large, mostly humanoid terrapin, with a purple cloth mask draped across his eyes. Instead of eating his pizza, he was tinkering with a busted AEGIS, delicately twisting a tiny screwdriver with his meaty hands.

"It's a long story, Donatello," said Hermione. "But I'm a kid now and there isn't anything I can do about it. This big lug here" she indicated Piccolo- "broke my Scouter. I'll need you to requisition a new one."

"Sure thing," he said, snapping a panel on the device shut. "I'm Chief of Requisition now, so I can get you just about anything. How's the invisibility cloak holding up?"

"Fine," she replied. "But I think I'll need a smaller one now."

"Please forgive me," lilted the girl next to Piccolo. "May I inquire further into your current physical state?"

"Fine," sighed Hermione, "If you guys really want to know." The table nodded in agreement, encouraging the now-young witch to share.

"Artemis dosed me up with extra Time Vortex energy. He says he's testing it to see if it's a viable way to improve performance."

"It seems reasonable, provided that he doesn't turn us _all _into children," said Elsa. She was another of the Trans-Dimensional Analysts, armed with her scouter. She idly stirred a mug of coffee, occasionally dipping her finger into it- freezing it instantly. She was generally a well-rounded sort, but perhaps a little obsessive. Her latest craze was "Chinese Ninjitsu", and her custom, Regulations-approved uniform was a little ridiculous looking. "How has it gone for you?"

"Fine, I guess. He sent me to train with Piccolo" again waving to her companion, "And I've been doing things I certainly couldn't before. My spells all seem stronger, and I can fly-"

"How wonderful," said the green-haired girl. "I have always wanted to fly."

Donatello gave her a glare. "Miku, you _can_ fly. You're an android. You've got all sorts of gadgets."

Suddenly, the girl was distant. Her eyes widened, and she stood up.

"_I Believe I Can Fly._ Artist: R. Kelly. Year: 1996. Genre: Rhythm and Blues."

"Oh, great," said a stoic-looking blond man seated next to Donatello. "Here she goes again."

"I used to think that I could not go onnnnn," sang Miku. "And life was nothing but an awful soonnnnnng."

She danced away, singing her R. Kelly, and flailing her arms.

"Vocaloids," muttered the blond man. "Not my kind of robot."

Donatello leaned in closer to Hermione, cupping a hand next to his mouth.

"My bet is that Artemis is nervous. He needs people strong enough to keep others under control."

"Under control? What do you mean?"

"Ugh! Oh! Ew! That's disgusting!" yelped Piccolo, passing Elsa's un-frozen mug of coffee back to her.

"I mean," whispered Donatello, "Not everyone on this ship are what you would call 'good guys'."

"Now, let's not be hasty," said the blond man, delivering a piece of simulated steak to his mouth. "Everybody has a reason for the things they did."

"You're one to talk, Char," accused the teenaged turtle. "You tried to drop an asteroid on Earth to _kill everyone_."

"They weren't going to change otherwise," he explained, shrugging.

"Think about what you just said! For just one second!" Donatello took an angry bite out of his pizza.

"Nobody's perfect," muttered Elsa, staring intently at her reclaimed mug of coffee. Piccolo was wiping his tongue off with his hands. "The Illuminati organization is bigger than 'good' and 'bad'. If people are here, it's because we need their talents to save the metaverse. Not because they did good enough to earn a spot."

"Thank you, Elsa," replied Char. "You know, your sense of duty is admirable. I wish we could all be so devoted."

"Oh! Um, thank you, Commander Aznable."

Hermione reeled in her seat. "_Commander_ Aznable?"

The man made the universal 'calm-down' gesture. "Don't think I've gone stealing Artemis' rank. It's just a title. I'm Chief of Mobile Defense."

"Mobile Defense?" asked Piccolo, evidently recovered from the coffee incident. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm glad you asked," he smiled, punching a few digits into his AEGIS. The table members disappeared, re-materializing in a massive hangar, filled to the brim with all shapes and sizes of gigantic combat robots.

"This is Mobile Defense. While the ship's guns can do a lot, we're here to go the extra mile."

"What… are all of these things?" questioned a shocked Hermione.

"Mobile Suits, mostly. We've got quite a few other varieties of mecha as well. Knightmare Frames, Gunmen, Mobile Fighters, Getter Machines, Buster Machines, Battlemechs, Arm Slaves, Tactical Surface Fighters, Valkyries and Veritechs, a stray Megadeus or two, a few Armored Cores, a wing of Evangelions, a squad of Jaegers… no Deus Machinas, though. Those are no-goes."

"What language was that supposed to be?" asked Elsa.

"Nerd-speak," replied Donatello.

"This is really nice and all," said Hermione, "and I know this is your baby, or whatever, but I don't see any way that this can help _me_, so-"

"Oh, but it can!" cried Char, dialing something into his AEGIS. A gigantic rack of huge, humanoid machines, all identical, swung off of the wall a few hundred meters above them. It slowly floated down to the floor that they stood on. The machines were all about sixteen meters tall, each one a bulky-looking mountain of well-polished metal. Their faces were huge visors wedged into thick armor plate, and across the bodies were several large, circular panels with raised surfaces.

"These are our latest production model," explained Char. "The Illuminati Brotherhood Defense Forty-Two 'Gatsby'. Named for a major donor to the program, of course."

A tiny blue speck floated around one machine's head, and began to rapidly descend to the group. As it approached, it became apparent that it wasn't a speck at all, but a small, winged horse.

"Hey, what's the big idea, moving the platform?" it crowed. "I was working on that unit!"

The horse gave a second look at the person who had called the platform down, and she began to apologize profusely. "Oh! Commander Aznable! I didn't mean-"

"Don't sweat it," said Char, ruffling the small Pegasus' multi-colored mane. "This is my little ace pilot- and my protégé- Rainbow Dash."

"Pleased to meet'cha," giggled the Pegasus, shaking hooves with the crowd. "I guess you're giving them the tour?"

"Only a little one. I was about to explain our Mobile Support program."

"No need," chuckled Donatello. "I just can't quit pizza, no matter how hard I try."

There was a feeble laugh among the assembled group.

"We're talking about _fire_ support," corrected Rainbow Dash, pointing a hoof toward the phalanx of mecha behind her. "Essentially, you just dial our number while you're in the field, and we can send you Trans-Dimensional Analysts a battalion of Gatsbys, free-of-charge."

"Wouldn't that be… a little excessive?" asked Hermione.

"When you're dealing with giant robots, nothing is excessive," replied Char. "Just give us a call whenever you need to fight someone even the slightest bit bigger than you."

"That should be pretty often for you, right, Hermione?" jabbed Elsa.

"Can it, snowflake," Hermione hissed in response.

"And that hostility is the sign that we should remove ourselves from the giant weapons," interrupted Char. He tapped a few buttons and returned the group to their table in the mess hall- but something was amiss.

Donatello asked the question that everyone was thinking: "Why is there some guy passed out on our table?"

The man was not _entirely_ passed out, but he might as well have been. He lay over the trays and cups they had left behind, their various vegetables clinging to his ratty green shirt. He was moaning softly, until Elsa chilled her mug of coffee again and poured it over his face, shocking him into more verbal clarity.

"Like, zoinks, man," he whined. "No need to be harshing my mellow."

"There's plenty of reason to 'harsh your mellow' when you ruin our meal," snapped Char. "Who the hell are you?"

"Oh, man. I'm… I'm Shaggy… from the kitchen. But I'm at one with the stars, right now. I'm, like, Star Shaggy," he mumbled.

Donatello grabbed the man's unshaven face, pulling his eyelids back and tilting his gaze upward. "Look at this," said the turtle, pointing at Shaggy's eyeballs. The irises were clouded over with an unnaturally bright blue. "It's… I think that's Melange."

"Melange? Dude, I don't care what it is. I can see, like, everything… all the stars and planets, and the black holes… I can see to the other side, man."

"Should we… call a doctor, or something?" asked Elsa.

Char shook his head. "Melange is a controlled substance. He'll have to be taken care of by-"

A sharp, metallic _click_ of high-heel against tile echoed throughout the mess hall, silencing even the most muffled of Reis. A thin, stern shadow crawled across the floor, surrounded by the vibrant corona of its owner.

"…_Regulations,_" whispered Donatello, as the group turned to face the members of the dreaded program. The amount of people that had assembled behind them so quietly was truly staggering; there were at least twenty officers all of identical uniform, and identical build- to be expected, since they were all Rei clones as well. They carried compact stun-guns and collapsible nightsticks, and that same determined, blank stare that was simply awkward on the other Reis, and terrifying on them.

Ahead of the troops stood four officers that were _clearly_ not clones- two average-height boys; one muscular, the other scrawny and wearing glasses; a truly behemoth young man with bleached-blond hair and well-pierced earlobes; and a short girl with conspicuously pink hair, who was twirling her nightstick innocently, though her facial expression destroyed any possibility of innocent intent. They did not look friendly, but then again, neither did their leader. She stood ahead of all the rest, peering down her nose from underneath the most severe eyebrows in the mess hall. She stood at attention, hands folded over the hilt of a sheathed sword, apparently unaware of the soft yellow light that projected from no place in particular behind her. Her long black hair sat neatly over her crisp uniform, which was definitely not the one any of her other officers wore, nor was it of the Trans-Dimensional Analyst type. It was some halfway point between a sailor fuku and a general's dress uniform, complete with gold epaulettes at the shoulders. Hermione could have sworn she saw the red-and-yellow patches on the scarf move like eyes scanning the room, but perhaps it was her imagination.

"May I have your attention, please," stated the young woman. She didn't bother _asking_ for it, she was certain to get it whether her audience wanted to give it to her or not. She paused, letting the words sink in, just in case anyone did not understand what was going on. Someone did not.

"Would the real Slim Shady please stand up?" called a giggling voice from a far edge of the hall. With nothing more than a shallow nod, a dozen of her clone officers apprehended the culprit- a suddenly surprised looking Miku- and escorted her out of the room, still rapping.

"That kind of discourse will not be tolerated while Regulations is carrying out their duties," said the Chief of Regulations, carefully suppressing her annoyance. "We have arrived to take one Shaggy Rogers into custody, on the grounds that he has… _misappropriated _a kilogram of the Spice Melange from the Navigation department. The Spice Melange is a controlled substance, and its use is regulated _strictly_ to authorized members of the Navigation department. According to the Illuminati Brotherhood Code, Article 10, section B3, subsection ν, theft or abuse of such substances is a criminal offense."

With another barely-detectable nod, a brace of Regulations officers marched to the table, picked up the dazed Shaggy, brushed a few slices of pizza off of his chest, and carried him to the feet of their superior.

"Anything to say in your defense, you miserable pig?"

"Of course he doesn't," said a familiar voice rushing in from the other side of the mess hall. Rubber boots squealed as the captain herself slid to a stop behind the disoriented Shaggy. "But _I_ do."

"_Captain Littner?_" cried the group- in perfect unison, excepting Piccolo- that had once occupied the table for a meal, and now clung to it as if to brace themselves from the drama.

The Chief of Regulations looked a little confused for a moment, but once her eyes had assessed the situation, she returned to her smug confidence.

"Captain Littner, what an unusual surprise," breathed the Chief of Regulations, not sounding surprised in the slightest. "However, I must question your stance on this criminal. He has clearly violated regulations."

"He didn't violate anything," barked Yoko, unusually stern. "I did."

"Well, of course you did," smiled the young woman, drawing her sword and pointing its jet-black blade at Yoko's mostly-exposed chest. "That bikini is _not _to dress code. Unless there is something else you'd like to share."

"There is," huffed Yoko. "I gave Shaggy Rogers the Melange."

That was enough to elicit a few quiet murmurs from the Reis, but an angry glare from the Regulations chief was enough to silence them.

"And just what exactly inspired this felony, pray tell?" She slowly returned her sword to its sheath, keeping her gaze focused on the captain.

"As captain of this ship, I'm a leader. And a leader is obligated to listen to the concerns of their followers. When I'm not on the bridge, I let the crew come talk to me. I was getting my meal here earlier today, and Shaggy was serving. He looked a little depressed, so I asked him why- he said he missed his friend Scooby, who's working in Navigation- he's the dog that talks," Yoko made the shape of a dog's head with her fingers, opening and closing her hand to indicate speech. The Chief of Regulations did not look particularly impressed.

"I know who he is," she spat.

"I told Shaggy here that I could get him into Navigation- we've got enough automation on our line here in the kitchen that we don't really need so many chefs- but he would need to actually be useful to Navigation before I could reassign him, so I snagged a vial of the stuff during one of my inspections and handed it off to him. It was a large enough dose that he should eventually develop psychic powers that would be useful in star-mapping."

The woman with the sword seemed to begin to speak, then stopped, then tried to begin again, and stopped again. She sighed, held up her hand, and her four non-clone officers instantly surrounded Yoko, locking arms underneath her elbows to keep her still.

"You have no idea how _stupid_ that was," said the Regulations chief, almost smiling.

"You can't talk to me like that, Kiryuin. I outrank you," growled Yoko, struggling against the officers detaining her. Chief of Regulations Kiryuin stepped forward, unsheathing her sword again. She pressed the tip against Yoko's throat.

"No one outranks the law," she hissed.

"It's _my_ ship," grunted Yoko.

"And _my _rules. And _Artemis'_ organization. And he told me to _enforce those rules, on your ship._ Laws are enforced through punishment. Punishment encourages obedience. Obedience ensures productivity. And if we are not _productive_, we are all _dead. _Do I make myself _clear,_ Captain?"

Yoko sighed. "As ice, Kiryuin."

"Good," said the young woman, removing the sword from her captain's throat. "I'm going to file a report and make sure Artemis knows about this."

"Artemis already knows," whispered the telltale monotone of a Rei, stepping through the blue sparks of an AEGIS device. A small, brass pin had been affixed to her uniform, two capital 'I' letters, just below her collar. "Mr. Shaggy Rogers had been deemed unfit for Navigation."

Chief of Regulations Kiryuin cracked a victorious smile.

"Miss Suzumiya is preparing transfer paperwork for one Scooby Doo to move to the kitchen," continued Rei Two. "Neither Mr. Shaggy Rogers nor Captain Yoko Littner will be reprimanded. You are dismissed, Chief of Regulations Satsuki Kiryuin."

Satsuki, retaining her dignity, turned and led her troops out of the mess hall, her officers letting Yoko go with a distasteful backwards glance. A disheveled and mostly-unconscious Shaggy, Rei Two, Captain Littner, and those who had been sitting at the table were all that remained- except the other Reis, who returned to eating silently as they had before.

"Artemis apologizes for the unruliness of Chief of Regulations Kiryuin," whispered the second Rei Ayanami. "He regrets to inform you that their strategies and autonomy must be preserved for the well-being of the ship."

"It's… no big deal," said Yoko, dusting herself off- though there wasn't really any dust. "I may be captain, but I still make mistakes. I overstepped my bounds, and all that."

"You're not just going to let her… do _that_, are you?" cried Hermione.

"Oh! Hermione! Were you there for all that? Gosh, you look… youthful."

"Answer the question," snarled the witch.

"Unfortunately, I am," sighed Yoko. "In another time or place, maybe not. But Kiryuin and her goons have that kind of power for a reason. There are worse things that could happen on this ship than a kilo of stolen Melange… which I need to make a note of. Shaggy here's going to need a steady dosage of Melange supplements from here on out. Withdrawal's a real… it gets ugly. Rei, can you send a memo to Suzumiya 'bout that?"

"Affirmative," said the girl, teleporting away.

"… Worse things?" asked Elsa quietly.

"Much worse," confirmed Yoko. "We've got thousands of the brightest minds in the meta-verse on this ship, and not all of them like to tread the straight-and-narrow. Keep that between just us, okay?" she said, motioning to the little group. Many heads bobbed in response.

"I need to get back to the bridge. You all take care, now," she smiled, tapping the coordinates of the bridge into her AEGIS and disappearing.

"Looks like you were right, Donatello," said Hermione, turning to the turtle.

"Yeah. But I can't say I'm too glad about it."

"Hey, can you also requisition a new outfit for me? I need something a little looser. It's just a little hard to move around in the normal uniform while I'm training."

"Sure thing. I've got friends in Outfitting. What did you have in mind?"

Hermione pointed at Piccolo, who was sipping something greedily out of a mug.

"Like what he's got. I think I can work an invisibility cloak into the whole cape-shoulder-pad thing he's wearing. Little kung-fu slip-ons like that might not be bad, either. And what are you drinking?" she asked of the Namekian.

"Coffee," grunted Piccolo. "It tastes awful… but I need more. It's got this buzz."

The group got a hearty laugh out of the response, almost forgetting the tension they had faced mere minutes before. They said their goodbyes and left to their posts, and the second they were gone, a Rei seated at a corner table got up and slipped through the sliding door. A man standing against a wall on the other side grabbed her arm.

"What did you find out?" he asked in a hushed tone.

"It sounds like they know. This cannot be good," replied the Rei.

"No. It is not. But we have ways of rectifying a setback like this. We can work faster."

"Shall I tell the others?"

"Of course. Just be careful, One."

"I will. Goodbye, Commander Ikari."

The man slunk back into the shadows, hunching his shoulders over and keeping his head down.

_Soon. It will happen soon._


	10. Berserk

"This one next, you'll like it, I swear!" giggled Ruby, punching another number into the music sampler's touchpad.

Adam reluctantly slipped the headphones back on. "If you insist, Ruby," he moaned, giving Holly a desperate look. The elf pretended to ignore him, and returned to flipping through the stacks of CDs.

_Data discs. The Master of Games replicated a full library of old-school data discs. Well, and the rest of this mall. Impressive- it wasn't too long ago that I could notice how _fake _the arenas seemed, but now… _Adam roaring broke Holly's train of thought.

"_MIENE GOTT IN HIMMEL! WAS IST DAS?!"_ he screamed, ripping the headphones off.

"It's a sick drop, ain't it? Personally one of my favorites. It's downright _filthy!"_ smiled the girl.

"It's the sound of the Prince of Hell himself vomiting!" cried the artificial man, holding the headphones with trembling hands. Ruby plucked them out of his grasp and set them back on the display rack.

"That's why it's so great! Can't wait for the next concert."

"You're going to have to, as long as we're here," muttered Holly as she examined the jewel case of _The Essential Shining Finger: Twenty Years of Face-Melting_. The genre on the case's spine read 'Smooth Jazz', but Holly was not so sure. She was about to set the CD back on the shelf when a glimmer of movement through the aisles caused her to drop to the floor, and instruct her teammates to do likewise.

"What is it?" whispered Ruby, propping her elbows up against the store's crummy red carpeting.

"Other people," hissed Holly, subtly pointing across the mall's open square to a food court. Two figures walked slowly, talking softly. They reached a table, pulled out chairs, and sat. "They're not fighting each other… which means they're on a team of their own. We need to be careful."

Adam carefully adjusted his body to lie flatter against the ground. "That voice… it sounds… familiar."

Holly dropped her helmet's HUD down over her eyes and toggled the zoom function. "Human male and female," she noted. "Guy looks tough. Short vest, big sword, crazy hair. Lady's got a pink suit."

"Oh!" said Adam. "The man is Fred. He also called himself Sol Badguy. He claimed to be a psychologist, but he seemed rather uncouth."

"And apparently a real ladies' man, too," noted Ruby.

Holly adjusted her zoom's focus quietly. "So you guys never fought him?"

Adam shook his head. "No. We simply spoke with him."

"Then we have no idea what he's capable of," grumbled the elf. "How about his friend there?"

"I'm not certain, but I think that's Janice Starling. Ryuko sent Fred to go talk to her when he was bugging us earlier," whispered Ruby.

"Must have ended up working out for them. Guess she's his patient now?"

"Well, why don't you put those big ears of yours to good use and find out?" replied the Huntress.

"Why don't you put that small mouth of yours to good use and _shut up_?"

Ruby followed orders and became silent, though not without glaring at Holly. The elf listened in as well as she could, her finely-tuned fairy hearing picking up the other warriors' conversation easily.

"So, when did you realize you had… lost control?" said the man, making slow, relaxing gestures with his hands as he spoke.

"I… it was when-" Janice paused, sniffling softly. "It was when I realized… that I was doing what _it_ wanted. At first, I was killing for revenge… I was angry, bitter… I wanted them out of my company. It was a power high. Then… I ran out of people I wanted out of my company. I think _it _wanted an excuse… so it made me paranoid."

"Paranoid?" asked Sol gently. "How so?"

"It made me think… that Alec was cheating on me. So I killed the woman, and I almost killed my best friend… at that point I came to my senses. I killed myself."

"You probably did the right thing," said Sol. Janice smacked him hard enough that it probably could have been heard while listening to _The Essential Shining Finger_. He touched his reddened cheek softly.

"Hmm. Your strength is certainly above average," he noted, slipping his oversized metal-plated headband back into place.

"How can you say I did the right thing?" she cried.

"Let's think about it. If you hadn't killed yourself, you would have kept on killing- submitting to the wasp, right? Eventually your human side would come to the same conclusion, so the choice would be to die after killing ten people or twenty? I know it doesn't sound good, but sometimes that's the kind of call you have to make."

"So… is that it then? Killing myself is the only way out?"

"Now, hold on. I didn't say that. My experience is that _any_ mutation or transmogrification like this can be controlled. It may take astronomical amounts of discipline, but it can be done. That you were able to _tell_ that it was taking control is a good sign; it doesn't have that strong of a grip on your mind. I mean, it's not influencing you now, is it?"

"Not that I can tell," Janice replied.

"Good! Then we should practice here, where we're safe."

"Practice?" said Janice, looking a little concerned.

"That's right. I said it was going to take discipline to control it, didn't I?"

"So you're going to… train me?"

"Right again," said Sol, getting up from his seat. "I want you to transform."

"Here? Now? But all the other times I was angry. I'm not angry now."

"Have you ever made yourself cry? Not like you were really sad, but you made yourself tear up, to convince someone you were?"

"Yeah, I guess. What's that have to do with it?"

"A transformation like yours is a physical manipulation of the body, just like making yourself cry. In your transformation's case, you're not in direct control of when or where it happens. But you _can _be. When you make yourself cry, you know how it feels when you cry naturally- the way the muscles of your face clench up, the welling of the tear glands. You can replicate the results by replicating what you _feel_ when it happens. You can do that for your transformation, too."

"Really? I just- It sounds so easy."

"Most people with problems like yours don't realize how easy it can be, because the last thing they want is to change. But those who want to change have no problem doing it. Now, when it happens, what do you feel?"

"Well… I've never described it," she mumbled. "This almost feels awkward. Like this is personal, you know."

Sol frowned. "Janice, are you going to let that get in the way of mastering your condition?"

Janice sighed, blushing slightly. "Well, no… I mean, if you say so… It's like- like when someone scares you. It feels just like the adrenaline, the way it just radiates out. I guess it makes sense, it's the hormones doing it, right?"

"That's what you told me," shrugged Sol.

"Well, it feels like that- but where you feel adrenaline where your heart is, _this_ starts from my head, and goes down… and as it goes… it…"

Her voice trailed off, and she shivered. Sol "Fred" Badguy took a confident looking step forward, brushing her hair aside and staring into her eyes. He cradled her chin with his rugged, gloved hand, and pointed a finger upwards.

"Well, look, Janice. You've done it." She looked up, and noticed the antennae that had sprouted from her forehead.

"Oh! Oh, my God. It's… happ-"

Sol pulled his hand away from her face in time to dodge the mandibles that erupted outwards, formed from her skin's transmutation into chitin. Janice reeled backward as her extra set of legs and abdomen pushed their way through her neat suit. Tight patches of fur sprang up around her neck, and long gossamer wings began to pump full of blood once her jacket was torn off.

Adam began to make soft gagging sounds. Ruby responded by punching him on the shoulder. "What's the matter? Never seen a horror movie?"

"One of those picture shows you told me of?" asked Adam weakly. "_Nein. _Are they all as grotesque as this?"

The girl giggled. "Only the good ones, you big baby."

"Ssshhh," hushed Holly. "Now would be a _really _bad time for her to hear us."

Janice had finished her transformation, the wasp's compound eyes looking down at the rags the change had made of her suit.

"Huh," mused Sol. "Look at that. You're considering what happened to your clothing. That's not an animalistic response at all." Janice looked back up, shaking her head in agreement.

"Now, would you have normally responded like that? If you had changed- let's say, while you were totally alone- would that have been your first response?"

Janice shook her head.

"So, you would have been looking for your prey?"

The oversized wasp shrugged.

"It seems to me that part of the reason you're doing so well is that the wasp is a little confused. Its instincts don't know how to respond to the situation the Grand Combat poses- everyone around you is dangerous, so that rules out hunting for food. Your emotions are removed from the equation, too- there's no one you want to take revenge on, either. If I was hostile to you, you'd try to kill me in an instant, I'm sure… but now, you don't know what to do. That's a great place to start."

The wasp gave Sol a blank stare.

"Look, it's not pushing you to _do_ anything! So you can do whatever you want! So you can practice using _your _conscious mind to control it!"

Janice lifted a clawed hand and scratched her head, which looked much funnier than it sounded.

"Here, it'll be easy. Practice by fighting me. I won't use my Fireseal, and you won't use your stinger." To demonstrate, Sol drove his chunky, square sword tip-first into the floor. He backed away from it, holding his hands up to show that he was unarmed. "How does that sound?"

The wasp nodded, wiggling its claws and adopting a wider four-legged stance. Its wings buzzed with anticipation, and it began to circle the bounty hunter/ scientist/ bioweapon/ psychologist.

"Now's our chance," whispered Holly. "Sol's unarmed. Starling shouldn't be too difficult. We can take them."

"All right! This will be a perfect opportunity to test this new technique Adam and I came up with!" giggled Ruby, picking herself up off of the floor slowly.

_This can't be a good thing, _Holly thought. As far as she could tell, she was right. Ruby leapt into the air and curled into a ball, and landed in Adam's massive arms. He shifted Ruby's tucked-in, comparatively tiny body into one hand, and stretched the other out toward the two distant warriors.

"What in Frond's name are you two doing?" asked the elf, quite concerned.

"I saw it in a comic book once," said the girl, popping her head out of her little ball. "It's gonna be _so cool!_"

Adam stuck up his thumb on his free hand, indicating that he had locked on to his targets. "Ready, Ruby?"

She was too excited to whisper anymore. "Aw yeah! Let's do it! _FASTBAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!"_

"_BEESSSSSONNNDEEERE!" _yelled Adam, hurling Ruby into the air with dramatic speed.

"Nice," noted Holly, pleasantly surprised. "That might take care of the wasp."

"But I wasn't aiming for the wasp," said the artificial man.

Holly placed her head in her hands, cursing. "D'Arvit," she swore.

As Ruby flew toward Sol, her scythe unfolded, the blade cutting a wide, looping path through the air. Thanks to their loud announcement of the attack, the bounty hunter picked up on what was going on- and sidestepped the twirling huntress, pulling his sword out of the ground. Ruby smacked into the wall, her scythe's blade plunging through layers of drywall.

"We missed," she moaned.

"Okay, Janice," said Sol, shoving a bullet into what looked like a breech on his Fireseal sword. "Change of plans. We're going to practice _teamwork_ now. Got it?" The wasp nodded. "Good," growled the scientist. "Then let's rock!"

Ruby pressed her feet against the wall and pried her scythe's blade out, landing on the floor with a graceful backflip and Crescent Rose slung over her shoulder.

"Adam!" she called as the huge man sprinted up behind her. "Let's show Headband McGee here what happens when we don't miss!"

"_Ja wohl_, Ruby."

The oversized wasp began to move to intercept the two intruders when she was tackled into a wall, her spindly claws failing to find purchase on the slick floor.

"Sorry, lady," grunted Holly, shifting her weight off of the insect and snagging one of the wings as she fell. Instinctually, Janice pulled the other way- tearing her own appendage off. With a snarl, she swung a claw at Holly, who hopped backward in time for the attack to miss. She used Janice's slow recovery to check on her allies. "How's it going, Ruby?" she asked.

"Fine!" chirped the girl, swinging her scythe to catch Sol's bulky sword in the curve of her larger weapon's blade. She flicked Crescent Rose's trigger, causing the scythe to jump in place and return Sol's sword. Adam threw himself behind the bounty hunter, grabbed his outstretched arm, and flung him into the wall. Sol righted himself in midair in time to land foot-first and propel himself back at his foes. He extended a boot and twisted his body, driving a kick into the side of Adam's face. Ruby raised her scythe's snath in time to block the attack, but was still thrown backward. She lowered the barrel of Crescent Rose at the triumphant-looking Sol.

"Hey! Katniss did those! What did she call them? She would say, 'SHOWER IN THE SKY KITE', right?"

Adam placed a hand on his wounded face. "I thought it was 'Shining psychic block'."

"No, I call that the _Bandit Revolver_," chuckled Sol.

"Fandub reposter? I hate those," growled Ruby, firing her weapon. Sol flicked his sword down, deflecting the bullet.

Sol laughed aloud. "You guys are _great_," he said as he jammed his sword's tip into the ground, causing a gout of flame to cascade up through the floor toward Ruby. The girl leapt to the right with superhuman speed, leaving a trail of rose petals in her cloak's wake. Sol frowned, sliding a panel on his sword back to allow a spent shell to pop out. Ruby's eyes widened in excitement.

"Yours… does that too?" she giggled, pulling back her own weapon's bolt to eject one of Crescent Rose's shells. "That's _awesome_!"

Sol was about to respond when Adam tossed him into the air, leapt after him, grappled him again, and plunged with him back into the ground. The artificial man hopped back up, preparing to drop an elbow onto Sol's body. Holly interrupted.

"Hey, I know you're a little occupied-" she strained, attempting to hold back Janice's abdomen- and by extension, stinger- with her feet. "But… I could use some help!"

Adam turned back to his friend. "Ruby- can you fight Sol alone?"

"Sure thing," she replied.

"Then I shall assist Holly," he stated. He charged at the insect, lowering one of his massive shoulders. The impact from the second tackle Janice had received that day was enough to snap her two left legs. She flailed her huge, misshapen body to no avail; her single wing incapable of helping her escape, her intact legs scraping uselessly against the tile floors. Holly flipped herself to her feet, drew her Neutrino, and taught her opponent what a bug zapper felt like.

Ruby continued to cross blades with her opponent in an intricate dance of slashes, bullets, punches, kicks, gymnastic leaps, pirouettes, and one-liners. A boot to the chest sent Sol flying back, but he managed to land on his feet as always.

"You… you just don't quit, do you?" gasped the huntress, finding herself a little short on breath.

"I don't have any reason to fear the reaper," Fred replied with a grin.

Ruby's eyes narrowed, and a short giggle forced its way out between strained breaths. She extended an index finger to point at Sol's bicep. "You… sure?" The bounty hunter looked, and noticed that a trickle of blood was rolling down his arm.

"Okay, you got me once. But it'll take more than that to knock me out."

Holly touched down on Ruby's left, while Adam arrived to cover her right flank.

"Incidentally," Holly noted, "We have _more than that._"

Sol smiled, raising a hand to his bulky-looking headband. "Eh. You're still a little short," he scoffed. With a flourish, he flicked a few clasps open, and promptly exploded into flames.

"DRAGON INSTALL!" He cried, while producing a shockwave that knocked the members of Team Mockingjay onto their backs. They quickly regained their footing, preparing for whatever the bounty hunter had up his sleeve. Or headband. Sol was now wreathed in flame.

"I thought you guys were being silly when you mentioned it earlier, but that really does look similar to that thing Katniss did," noticed Holly.

"This ain't some technique you can copy," growled the conflagrated Sol. "I've just released a small portion of the power of my Gear form. Now you're all gonna bite the dust."

Holly fired her Neutrino at full strength at the man, only for the blast to dissipate on the fiery aura that surrounded him.

"…D'Arvit," swore the elf.

"Hate to say I told you so," cackled Sol, who leapt forward with enough force to cause the floor where he had been standing to cave in. With a swing of his arm, he drove the blunt edge of his sword into Holly's stomach and sent her flying back into the music store, crushing the entire discography of several thrash western trance groups and ruining her mechanical wings. Holly struggled to place a hand on her destroyed midsection, her magic incapable of responding fast enough. Ruby swung her scythe toward the spot where Holly had been standing before that Sol now occupied. Sol planted his sword between his body and Crescent Rose, causing the large sniper scythe to bounce off of his Fireseal's broad side.

"NOW! NAPALM DEATH!" he screamed. The flames surrounding his body responded by jumping to far greater heights, as if fanned by Sol's shouting itself. His bulky weapon split in half, revealing a sliver of red-hot metal, spitting and bubbling like magma.

Holly attempted to pull herself away from the shelves full of destroyed jewel cases, but her shattered ribs convinced her to stop. Her magic had begun to heal her, but for an injury this serious, it would take more time- time Ruby and Adam didn't have.

_I guess you can't win them all,_ she groaned in her head. _If I hadn't let Ryuko and Katniss go off on their own, this wouldn't have happened. So much for being the Idea Elf. _She could see out through the store's open front into the battle-torn food court, her friends and their assailant clearly visible. Sol was most of the way through a swing, and it did not look like Ruby would be able to dodge this time. As his blade drew nearer and nearer to its target, the flames rising from the bounty hunter began to cause something in the air to twinkle. _Those aren't sparks. That's broken glass- like something fell through the skylight._

Indeed, something _had_ fallen through the skylight, and before Sol's attack could connect, the meteoric impact sent the bounty hunter and his two foes flying on a debris-filled shockwave. The massive wave of dust was powerful enough to invade even the music shop, which did no favors for Holly's injured lungs.

"What-gah!- in Frond's name!?"

In the center of the dust cloud, thin pink lines began to glow.

"Could we have landed a little more softly?" asked the voice of Katniss, sounding a little frustrated.

"Maybe," replied Ryuko's voice. "Now, where is everyone?"

Holly saw the flicker of a fiery blade rise from the far end of the food court, arc through the air, and descend toward the dim light from Ryuko's outfit. A second shockwave ripped through the mall, displacing the dust that had hung ominously. In the center of the now-cratered food court, Ryuko held her Scissor blade aloft, and above, Sol –still ablaze- forced his Fireseal down. He hung in the air, suspended by his own sword and arm, but only for a moment. Ryuko gave a gentle push and sent Sol flying into the metal trusses under the tasteful glass roof. Katniss, who had been standing next to her, hopped backwards at the sudden movement.

"Oh! There was a guy! And he almost killed us!"

"Yep," grunted Ryuko. "And if I'm not mistaken, it's that pervert from before. Fred."

Sol growled, twisted in place, and freed himself from the rafters- to tumble to the floor, he picked himself up, and sprinted toward the girls, a mass of flames and rage.

"Katniss, you know the drill."

The armored-up tribute nodded. "I'll clear out. If you need me, I'll get to work." With that, she turned on her heel and rushed toward the nearest cover, which happened to be the music store. It took her a few seconds to recognize the limp body as her friend's.

"Holly? Oh, my God!"

The elf managed to pull her lips back into a reassuring smile.

"Relax. I'm not kicking the bucket just yet. But I'm not going anywhere for another minute or two."

"That's a relief," breathed Katniss, lowering herself into a crouch and aiming her bow out of the shop's entrance. Two short panels removed themselves from the back of her armor's ankles and drove their tips into the ground.

"Ooh, stability anchors?" wheezed Holly. "For mud men, that's right clever. If you had a gun."

Katniss collapsed her bow and secured it on the back of her armor, casting a glance back at her friend.

"What do you mean, _if_?"

A large, boxy plate on her left thigh opened, and inside, wrapped in ethafoam, was a high-caliber receiver. A deft hand drew a few more plates off of her back, which folded out into a stock. Katniss worked hurriedly, glancing up every few seconds to make sure they were safe, as she disconnected other various hidden pieces of her suit and clipped them together.

"An origami sniper rifle," whispered Holly, watching the device take shape. "Why didn't _we_ think of that?"

Ryuko deflected Sol's first attack with some effort- there was no denying the ignited man was quite strong.

"Well, if it isn't Ragna the _Boobedge_," he cackled.

"Bug OFF!" shouted Ryuko, laying into him with a reverse-grip swing. Sol's oversized Fireseal was broad enough to function well as a shield, as he demonstrated by lifting it to absorb the girl's attack.

"Good grief!" he said, suddenly flustered. "Where are my manners? Well, I know- they're not around in this form." He lifted a hand to his headband and pressed the clasps he had opened closed. The flames surrounding his body extinguished themselves. Ryuko took a step back, unsure of where this was going.

"Sorry 'bout that whole ambush thing," said Sol, flipping his long ponytail over his shoulder.

"Um… _okay_."

"You see, I have a policy of not attacking potential clients until they've had a chance to accept or decline my offer."

Ryuko peered over his shoulder and identified Adam leaned against a wall, cradling his head.

"Were you in the middle of something with _him_?" she asked. "I thought you already bugged him. According to you, you shouldn't have been fighting him."

"He turned down my offer, though. I believe he had your help with that. But you, on the other hand…"

Ryuko changed the subject. "Hey! How about that wasp lady? How are things going with that?"

Sol pointed past Ryuko to the other side of the food court, where a large, singed wasp carcass lay. "Other than that little speedbump, Janice is making great progress. And just think, you could be, too."

Ryuko looked back over her shoulder. "Man, if that's what you call progress-"

"Listen, kid! You've got issues. And I'm willing to help."

"What do you mean? I'm totally stable!"

"As stable as a one-legged horse," he chuckled. "I mean, look at that outfit. Let's face it, it takes some serious mental trauma to convince yourself that getup is _normal_."

Annoyance took a nosedive into the depths of pure rage.

"What. Did. You. Say?" Ryuko's outfit began to glow again, and short bursts of steam escaped through its vents and creases.

_Ryuko,_ cried Senketsu. _You're doing it again! Just calm down._

"I said, that's just not normal. You're in denial about the whole thing, really. Not being human, and all."

"I _AM_ human!" she growled. The lines covering her outfit began to veer closer to crimson than pink.

_Ryuko,stop it. Please. For the good of both of us. It hurts me and you. I don't want this to happen again._

"This exhibitionist escapism, denial of your nature, and poor temper… I'm willing to bet this had something to do with how you were raised. Let's start with your mother."

"N-no! I! I don't! Need! Your! Help!" Ryuko wailed. Trickles of blood began to seep through her Kamui, dripping to the ruined floor and evaporating instantly.

_Listen, Ryuko. Take a deep breath, step back. He's stepping on all the wrong nerves by accident. He just thinks he can help._

Ryuko swallowed hard and began to calm her heavy breathing. "Y-yeah. This is why I keep you around, Senketsu. I'm sorry."

"Look at that," said Sol, waving a hand toward her outfit. "You're even _talking _to it."

"NO NO NO NO _NO NO NO NO __**NO NO NO **__**NO!**_" screamed Ryuko, removing any progress Senketsu had made in calming her down. "**THAT'S IT! NO MORE! I PUT UP WITH DIO! I PUT UP WITH THAT SLIMY HAIR BITCH! I DO NOT HAVE TO PUT THE **** UP WITH YOU AND EVERYBODY ELSE INSULTING SENKETSU!"** Blood began to explode out of Ryuko's outfit, turning to steam seconds after hitting the air. Debris surrounding the girl began to float into the air.

"What the hell is happening to Ryuko?" breathed Katniss, having just finished assembling her rifle.

Holly shifted her weight off of the shelves and fell forward, putting a hand down in time to catch herself. "I don't know. But is certainly isn't pretty."

"I'll take that as a no, then?" said Sol, taking a step back.

"**YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY OUTFIT, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY TEMPER, AND NOBODY IS GOING TO TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER, EVER, ****ING AGAIN!" **The red striping that covered Senketsu was now gushing blood, and Ryuko seemed to be having trouble standing.

_Ryuko? Why would you do this again? Why?! This isn't what I want. I thought you were fighting for _me_. But you're being very selfish!_

"You know," mused the bounty hunter. "I think I can't say you're in a decision-making mind right now. So I'm going to stage an intervention." He readied his sword, and backed up once more.

Against the far wall, Adam cradled the unconscious Ruby in his arms, using his broad back to shield her from the splashes of boiling blood.

"If I do not look, it will go away… If I do not look, it will go away…"

Ruby began to return to consciousness, blinking her silver eyes open. "A-Adam? What's going on? What smells like blood?"

"That would be blood," he squeaked. "Ryuko seems to be producing an excess of it, and at a very high temperature."

"You don't know much about girls, do you?"

"Admittedly, no."

Ruby scooted herself along Adam's arm and peered past his shoulder, took one look at Ryuko, then quickly popped back into shelter, looking very concerned.

"You know, maybe I don't know that much about them, either."

Katniss removed her eye from her rifle's scope. "Should we… go help her?" she asked to Holly, who by this point had pulled herself into a sitting position.

"Sol wiped the floor with us when we fought. I doubt you could do much better in a close-quarters battle like that. Ryuko should be our best bet, but right now-" she gestured outward to the large mess the other girl was creating. "Well, I'm not sure what to make of that."

"You know, she started to do something similar when we ran into-"

Katniss was interrupted by Ryuko's outfit doing something that could be best described as "exploding", though that didn't really do it justice. Very suddenly, she was no longer clothed (well, less than usual). Senketsu seemed to become a terrible, fanged mouth, which promptly clamped its teeth over Ryuko's bare body. This was followed by a more conventional explosion, accentuated by the pink sparkles that tended to follow one of her outfit's transformations. But as the bright flash disappeared, it became apparent that this was no ordinary change. Not only had her outfit been altered, but so had her body- and it did not look pleasant in the slightest. The creature that had replaced Ryuko was twisted far enough that it would be surprising to know it was ever human.

Ryuko's skin was now a pale, corpse-like blue. Her left arm had become hideously oversized and bloated, bent along its length in a manner that suggested it had been sliced horizontally like a cucumber. Her right, as a counterpoint, was greatly reduced; a mere twig fused to her Scissor Blade at a useless angle. Her head limply teetered on Senketsu's eye-crest, which had grown significantly in order to accommodate the ungainly left arm hanging off of it. Massive tusk-like fangs forced their way out of their mouth, in directions inoperable for any form of eating. A couple even shot up through her skull, protruding grotesquely from her forehead, like horns. Her eyes were wide and sunken in, jammed open with what must have been excruciating pain. Perhaps most horrifyingly, her waist had been replaced with a wide, gritting, bestial mouth, filled with the same sort of teeth as the ones in her head, only larger. Blood still streamed from every part of her body, ranging from thin rivulets to full-blown geysers.

"Hey, Adam?" asked Ruby quietly.

"What is it?"

"You know how I called you a big baby earlier?"

"Yes."

"I take it back. For your own good, don't look behind you."

"Jeez!" yelped Katniss, tripping over her own foot-anchors onto her bottom. She scrambled to get her sniper rifle back into a firing position, now unsure of whom to be targeting. "What did- _that's_ Ryuko?"

"There is a certain resemblance," grunted Holly. "If I had any guess, I'd say she can't control that very well. Don't do anything until we see what she does to Sol." Katniss nodded an affirmative and returned her eye to her scope. "Hey," continued Holly. "Do you see Adam and Ruby out there?"

Katniss swung the rifle's barrel left and right, scanning the debris scattered throughout the food court. "Shoot, I almost forgot about them," she muttered.

"Sol knocked me out of the fight a while back- I didn't see what happened after Ryuko crashed through the roof."

"I've got a fix on them. They're up against the west wall. They're keeping very still. Adam's got his back to the room and is using his body to hide Ruby."

"D'Arvit, across the room? If this situation gets any worse than it is now… we'll have to cross her."

"That's assuming it gets any worse," commented the sniper. "I mean, she could just make a scary face, change back, and be do-"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" bellowed Ryuko, spattering Sol with blood. The bounty hunter drew a gloved hand over his face, shaking the hot liquid back onto the ground.

"Now, see what you've done there? You just transmogrified. And that is my area of expertise," he chuckled. He pointed his rectangular sword at the mangled Ryuko, and with his other hand, waved her on. "Now, show me how it works!"

Ryuko responded by launching herself off the ground, bringing her bloated arm down in a spectacular punch. Sol inched away, raising his sword so that Ryuko's momentum carried her down onto the blunt edge with horrific speed. A moaning gasp escaped through her mass of teeth before the psychologist sent her flying away with a spinning heel kick. Sol flung himself after her misshapen body to continue his string of attacks.

"What kind of rounds are those?" asked Holly as Katniss began to advance a bullet into place.

".408 High-Accuracy Anti-Materiel. They always were telling me how rare these bullets were…"

"I don't need a story," huffed Holly, crawling to Katniss' side. She sat down and placed a glowing hand back on her chest. _Nearly done. Come on._ "But I think I have a plan."

"Talk to me," Katniss spat, adjusting her scope.

"Remember when you went crazy with the _Satsui no Hado_?"

"Yeah. Are you ever going to tell me just when _you_ learned _Hokuto Shinken_?"

"Later, I swear. It's not actually that interesting. Now, when you were under the influence of the _Hado, _which was powered by your anger, it was fairly easy to snap you out of it."

"You just had to hit me once."

"Exactly. We need to calm Ryuko down. Right now, she's obviously angry. It's being fueled by some pent-up aggression and sustained by the fact that her body- well, is like _that_. But if we can get her to where she doesn't feel anything…"

"Just before she would black out," whispered Katniss. "Like from a serious enough wound."

"There's the trick. You're going to need to hit her where you can injure her enough that she's very, very close to death, but not dead."

"If I could get a decent angle up through the stomach, I could put a hole through a few organs and leave the lungs and heart intact," considered Katniss. "Or I could go for between the lungs. Now that's a tricky shot."

Holly frowned. "Well, whatever you do, her body clearly isn't laid out like a human's anymore."

"So I'm shooting blind? Great," she muttered.

"_Mostly_ blind," offered the elf.

An upwards swing from Fireseal sent Ryuko's hulking frame airborne. Sol leapt up after her, preparing to follow up with an elbow drop, when the monstrous girl spun in midair, slashing her Scissor Blade arm across his chest. Sol reeled backward, and Ryuko seized the opportunity by grabbing him with her oversized hand and flinging him to the ground. He attempted to rise, but was unable to before she landed on him heels-first.

"GWUUUUUUUURHHH!" she howled in triumph, driving her Scissor Blade tip-first through his ribcage. Sol coughed up a mouthful of his own blood, and placed one hand on the weapon in his chest and another on his headband.

"Final… Dragon… Install," he coughed, tossing Ryuko aside as he powered up. Once again, flames crawled across his body, but now he exhibited drastic physical changes. His skin darkened to a burnt reddish-brown, and long wing like projections rose from the back of his head as a horn protruded from the front. He floated off the floor, hovering toward Ryuko as the wound in his chest sealed.

"I'VE JUST RELEASED AN EVEN LARGER PORTION OF MY GEAR FORM!" he shouted in a now-echo-ey voice. He raised his sword above his head, and it split in two once more, revealing its searing-hot innards. "NOW, IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO BE REHABILITATED!"

Ryuko accepted his challenge with a guttural roar, and the two locked blades once again, with Sol's heavier swing winning out. Ryuko was knocked back into the eastern wall, landing next to Janice's corpse- not that she noticed. She flung herself back, grappling Sol with her oversized arm and shoving him on to her extended Scissor Blade.

"Oh," he wheezed, looking down at the weapon that had just run him through. Ryuko clenched her hand around his legs and began to pull downward, the blade slowly advancing up his chest. "W-w-w-wait!" he cried, but Ryuko did not. With a final pull, she cleaved his upper body in two, tossing him aside. He landed next to Adam, which caused the huge man to leap into the air squealing.

"Was ist das?! Eine-"

Ruby shot a hand to his mouth.

"Quiet! She'll…" the girl noticed that the now-unoccupied Ryuko was staring at them. "see… us."

Adam finally turned around to see the thing that had been causing all of the noise.

"Ruby," he whispered, "I turned around."

"I know," she squeaked.

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHH!" screamed Ryuko, blasting towards Adam and Ruby in a full-blown charge.

"D'Arvit," cursed Holly. "You've got to shoot. Now!"

Katniss obliged, and sent a round into Ryuko's midsection. The bullet whizzed out the other side, passing between Adam and Ruby by inches before embedding itself in the far wall with a sharp CLACK. The monster that had been their friend stumbled, tripped, and fell on its hideous face, sliding to a bloody halt at the artificial man's feet. Silence returned to the ruined mall, with the exception of the soft sound of blood from the ceiling dripping onto the floor.

Holly walked slowly out of the music store, observing the horrific scene that had been created.

"What have we done?" she whispered before scrambling to Ryuko's side. She cautiously searched for a pulse, not entirely sure that she was _completely_ incapacitated.

"Y-you _shot_ her," cried Ruby.

"She was about to kill you," stated Katniss.

"But she was our friend!" the huntress protested.

"Do you think I didn't know that when I pulled the trigger? I did. And I knew exactly what was going through her head." Katniss turned to Holly. "Is she going to-"

Holly breathed out slowly. "No pulse. She's dead."

They paused, realizing the severity of the situation. Ryuko had been their strongest fighter, and now she could no longer help them. Furthermore, _they_ had killed her.

"Will she… forgive us?" asked Katniss.

"I don't know- I mean, I would assume that she would- she wasn't in her right mind- but would she- I just- I don't know," stammered Holly.

"And how are we going to get to Twilight now?" asked Ruby. "Sol was just one guy, and he wiped the floor with us. We couldn't fight another guy like that!"

"Well… we could have lost _here_ in this building when she killed all of us… or we can lose later when we run into something worse later on… maybe we should have stuck with the first option… but…" Katniss' voice trailed off, and she fell to her knees with a distressed sigh.

"We are _totally screwed_," moaned Ruby.

"Yeah, there's no way around it," said Holly. "Adam, what do you-" she realized that he was no longer at the spot he had been standing before, but had instead found one of the few clean corners of the room and was vomiting violently into it.

"… I see," concluded the elf.

At that moment, their mourning and consternation were interrupted by two small objects hitting the floor after falling through the shattered skylight.

Holly looked up, delicately walked around Ryuko's body, and rushed to the items, which she found familiar.

"It's like before… in the token-collecting round," she said, picking up the paper-wrapped lumps and wiping the blood off of them with her sleeve. The rest of the team scurried over to take a look, though without as much spring in their step as usual. Holly unfolded the first, finding a pink heart surrounded by a thick gold bezel.

Holly folded her lips in approval. "Second Street Ballrooms. At least it isn't a riddle."

"How about the other?" asked Katniss.

Holly held it up. It was a similarly-sized disc of metal, with a central sun-like image and six boxy rays pointing towards the edges. The perimeter was also carved with a pattern that echoed the logo.

"Eighth Street Foundry," read Holly. "I have to say I'm appreciating this new straightforward approach."

Ruby scratched her head. "So that's where we have to go to find those VIWs?"

"That's what makes sense," said Katniss. "But why two of them?"

Holly tilted her head sideways a little. "Well, we killed Janice, right? And Ryuko killed Sol…"

"And I killed her," grunted Katniss. "But that would be three kills to three clues, and we have only two."

"So somebody's not dead," scowled Holly, drawing her Neutrino, as the others followed suit with their weapons.

Ruby blasted a magazine into Janice's large and waspy corpse, sliding backward on the wet floor thanks to the recoil.

"I think she's all right," she called, swinging Crescent Rose back over her shoulder.

"I do not think Sol's body is going anywhere," shuddered Adam.

"Aw, crap," hissed Katniss. "The trick shot _worked_." Toward the center of the room, a large puddle of blood had developed a large, misshapen depression in the center. Inside of it lay an uncharacteristically limp and particularly human-looking Ryuko, stark naked. A tattered-looking Senketsu lay crumpled next to her.

"So we _didn't _kill her?" whispered Ruby.

"Maybe not," said Holly, rushing back to the girl's body. She placed a hand on her wrist. "No pulse." She promptly twisted a dial on her Neutrino, shoved the barrel into the center of Ryuko's chest, and fired. Ryuko's body jolted in place, and the girl inhaled with great effort.

"You shot her again!" cried Adam.

"I defibrillated her," explained Holly. "A shock from my Neutrino was enough to restart her heart." She checked for a pulse again, nodding her head. "It's there, but irregular. If we're going to save her, I need you all to help out. This is a mall, it should have supplies."

"What do you need?" chirped Ruby excitedly.

"You can go and look for a blanket. Katniss, you go and find some water. Adam, you look for food. She lost a lot of blood, and since we don't have any way to do a transfusion, we'll just have to help her make more of her own. Get moving!"

"Will do," grunted Katniss, sprinting away with the others. Holly knew she didn't have much magic left, but she figured that this was as good a use as any. "Heal," she breathed, placing her hand on the girl's chest. Sparks of magic danced from the elf's body into Ryuko's, and Holly felt the ragged heartbeat under her palm begin to stabilize. A pair of dark blue eyes fluttered open.

"H-Holly?"

"Yeah. Hold still, kid."

"I… I should probably… tell you what all of that was."

"Stop talking. That's using up resources your body doesn't have."

Ryuko breathed out slowly, nodding. As the other members of the team began to return, Holly directed their actions into a calculated medical effort. Within minutes, they had wrapped Ryuko in the blanket and had begun to supply her with sips of water, while Senketsu had been hung on a re-appropriated clothing store rack to dry.

Ryuko sucked down another tiny plastic cup of water and began to explain. "So, in case any of you didn't figure it out, I'm not _completely_ human."

"That's a bit like saying, 'I'm only _partially _insane'. If a little bit makes you do stuff like that, what's it matter if you were 100%... whatever?" jabbed the elf.

Ryuko made a small huffing noise and continued. "I was born normal, but I was fused with Life Fibers- the stuff Senketsu is made of- when I was a baby. They've grown inside of me all of my life. They're what makes me so strong. Senketsu's actually made with some of my cells, too, so we're sort of meant to work together."

Katniss looked back over her shoulder from her position on watch. "That's not explaining the rampaging monster thing."

"I'm _getting there_. Jeez," Ryuko hissed. "When I get too angry, the Life Fibers in my body go all wonky and smash together with Senketsu's, making… that. It doesn't happen too often. It's not very-" she coughed briefly- "…healthy."

"So it was a good thing that I shot you, then?" asked Katniss. Ryuko gave her a confused look.

"Bullets normally don't do anything to me," she said.

"I'm a good shot, I guess," replied Katniss humbly.

Holly cracked open another bottle of water and refilled Ryuko's cup. "I think the real question here is, will you let it happen again?"

"I never _let_ it happen, okay? I… I've just been fed up with everyone making fun of Senketsu… and when we ran into Dio-"

"You ran into _Dio?_" gasped Holly. "And made it out alive?"

"We didn't fight _him_," explained Katniss. "He's got a new lackey. Some girl who fights with her hair. Kept switching from polite to creepy. We killed her."

Holly narrowed her eyes. "Then why didn't you get one of those clues?"

Ryuko and Katniss shared a glance. "Oh," said the wounded girl. "Maybe we didn't."

"Anything else about your little adventure you want to fill me in on?" growled the elf accusingly.

"We lost the motorcycle," offered Katniss.

"It was a _nice_ motorcycle," elaborated Ryuko.

"Well, maybe there was something. Didn't Dio say something about another, more important mission?" asked Katniss.

Ryuko nodded. "Yeah, yeah, he did."

"That's pretty vague. I don't think that really gets us anywhere," commented Ruby, stuffing her face with another handful of potato chips.

"Would you quit eating those?" groaned Holly. "They're simple carbohydrates _for Ryuko_."

"Nope!" giggled Ruby. "We got extras!"

"Fine," sighed the elf. "We need to start planning our next moves."

"We could try going for a VIW," said Katniss. "There's a good chance Twilight has nothing better to do than complete the objectives."

Holly shook her head. "But that's what _everyone _is trying to do. She would know that we would assume that. So she would purposely try and do something else."

"Forgive me for my intrusion," said Adam softly, "but an attempt to complete one of the objectives puts us closer to at least one goal. The most benefit can be derived from pursuing the option that provides the greatest chances of success."

"What did he just say?" whispered Ruby to Ryuko.

"No idea," replied the wounded girl.

"I see what you mean," said Katniss. "If we _do_ go after a target, we at least have a chance of getting that done and maybe winning the round. We even have clues for two of them already. If we try chasing Twilight down, there's a chance we may not find her and we'll have wasted the whole round."

Holly stood up and shrugged. "Okay, okay. You guys win. We can head out when Ryuko's feeling well enough to walk."

"I am," grunted Ryuko, who jumped off the floor as if nothing had happened.

Ruby opened a second bag of chips slowly, until an approving nod from Holly allowed her to dig in.

Holly sighed. "Let me guess. Life Fibers?"

"Life Fibers," replied Ryuko.

"Of course. And are those Life Fibers going to get you some new underwear as well?"

Ryuko looked down, yelped, and frantically snagged Senketsu off of his makeshift clothesline to cover her shame. With a sheepish gulp, she ducked into a nearby discount store.

"You'd think she wouldn't be so sensitive about it," whispered Ruby. "Given, well, you know."

"We will never speak of this again," commanded Holly.


	11. The Ghost of the Chozo

The streets were silent enough that the sound of their footsteps echoed quietly back and forth between the shops, creating a pair of phantom pursuers. Twilight Sparkle brought herself to a stop slowly, looking around with a mournful severity.

"What's the matter, Miss Sparkle?" asked Alucard, stuffing his hands into his coat's pockets.

"It's dreary, being alone," the unicorn whispered.

"They'll come around soon enough," assured her companion.

"I hope they will," she sighed.

"As do I. It would at least give me something to do."

"Well, you _really _needed something, you could start by getting rid of our travelling buddy," Twilight offered, nudging her head backwards.

"Oh, her?" chuckled the vampire, smiling. "I was saving her for later, when I get hungry."

Twilight shook her head. "I suggest you get hungry now, then."

Alucard heard the click-click-hum of a large energy weapon charging up behind his head, and smiled.

"Speak of the devil," he grinned. "I guess you can't stand people talking about you behind your back."

The power-armored woman placed a hand on her blaster- covered right arm to steady it.

"Technically, you were in front of me. And yes, I can't. I only allow people to talk behind my back if they say 'That Samus sure is a badass, I had better not mess with her!'. That way, I only give off the right impression."

"I let people say whatever they want about me," oozed Alucard. "But they only ever say one thing."

"And what's that?" growled Samus behind her energy cannon.

"It sounds a bit like choking," he replied, whipping a huge pistol behind him to deliver a round into Samus' Power Suit's chest. The bullet ricocheted away with a crack, and Samus released a burst from her arm cannon. Burnt pieces of Alucard fell onto the street in a manner particularly lacking in dignity.

"You know, it's funny," laughed Samus, kicking Alucard's body aside. "When I ran into you guys before, I didn't really think I'd run into you again. But with the amount of credits on your heads, I guess you could say our reunion was destiny."

Twilight Sparkle turned to face her opponent, frowning. "I'm of the belief that destiny isn't determined by the transfer of money."

Alucard's body began to piece itself back together in a storm of hellish black mist. His still-forming arms swung his pistols back towards Samus, the half of his face that had not returned twisted into a giddy smile.

"First you make the mistake of challenging us twice. Now you tell us you've done it for money when there's clearly none here. You're more of an idiot than I thought," he hissed.

"To be truthful, it's not- _actually- _credits," Samus blushed. "They promised me they could get me… a lot of a particular food item. That I have a particular weakness for."

"You're not helping my opinion of you," muttered Alucard.

"Do you think that I care?!" she screamed.

The vampire tilted his hat down. "You seemed concerned about it when we were talking about you in front of your back."

Samus lost it, firing desperately with her arm cannon. Alucard dodged the shot this time, making full use of his horrifying speed. He trained his pistols on separate targets on Samus' body, aiming one for her sleekly-armored abdomen and another for her cannon arm's elbow joint. Both of his shots were direct hits, but neither managed to scratch her armor.

Samus laughed aloud, blasting off the ground with her jet boots and wrapping her huge arms around the vampire's comparatively slim body. The tackle sent the two flying over Twilight's head and into the shoe store across the street.

"You're really going to try and use slugthowers? What do you think this is? The twenty-second century?!" Her enthusiasm was beginning to fog the inside of her visor.

"If you're going to complain about my weapons, I can always adopt a different strategy."

Alucard slipped his pistols back into his coat, placing a boot on Samus' midsection in order to push her away with a forceful kick. The vampire floated to his feet gracefully, roaring with laughter.

"Come on!" he guffawed. "Show me a halfway entertaining fight! I've been just dying for a challenge!"

Samus picked herself up, removing a designer stiletto that had become lodged in the gap between her shoulder armor and her arm. "Okay, if you really want to be dying," she spat as her suit collapsed around her, folding into a neat, bronze sphere.

"Oh, you're going to run away again," whined Alucard. "What a shame. I was hoping you'd stay."

Samus' Morph Ball did not run away. It spun forward, drew a lazy loop around the vampire's feet, and returned to where it was before, exploding back out into the bulky armor. Samus smirked behind her visor. Alucard noticed a soft beeping noise and looked down to see several metal orbs gently pulsing with red light.

Alucard tilted his hat down and sighed. "Ah. I see."

Twilight managed to raise a magical barrier just before the explosion's shockwave reached her, tearing the contents of the shoe store out of its building and across the street. She kept the pink dome of magic up until she was certain there were no more chunks of concrete or burnt track shoes left to fall on her head, then allowed it to dissipate, blinking the smoke out of her eyes as it crept into the now unoccupied space.

Samus Aran stepped through the mist, materializing in front of the unicorn with a charged arm cannon.

"You sure don't like making things easy, do you?" she grunted, using her other arm to remove her helmet, shaking her ponytail free. "Then again, nobody really does. If I had run into the elf or the girl with that curvy thing with the string-"

"It's called a bow," corrected Twilight.

"Sure, yeah, a bow. If I had run into them first this would have been a lot easier. But I found you two and I stick with targets of opportunity. I swear, if Megatron doesn't pay up…"

"Ha!" shouted Twilight, pointing a hoof at the bounty hunter. "You revealed your employer!"

"So?" Chuckled Samus. "You're dead anyway. And it's not like it matters. I don't care if you tear him to pieces later. As long as I get my payment for this job, I'm good."

"I wouldn't be too certain about either of those things," mused the unicorn with a smirk.

The color drained from the bounty hunter's face. "He regenerated again, didn't he?"

"Yep."

Samus only caught a glimpse of Alucard's formless black abyss of a body before it turned into a stream, passed through her, and regenerated on the other side. She collapsed to her knees, blood suddenly welling in her throat.

"Wh-what did you just do?" she gasped.

Alucard let his toothy grin stretch from one end of his face to the other. "I tore up a few organs. Your appendix and spleen, I think. You'll live- in pain." He drew the larger of his two pistols and placed it between Samus' eyes. Twilight Sparkle trotted in front of her, shaking her mane with condescendence.

"You can tell Megatron that he can blame his failures on himself. If he was half the mastermind he says he is, he wouldn't get defeated even by teams as powerful as ours. And I highly doubt he can provide you with… what exactly _did_ he promise you?"

"Millet puffs," coughed Samus.

"Like what you feed to parakeets?" asked Alucard.

"No! These are candies. I'm not a parakeet!" she cried weakly.

"Did I say you were?"

"You sure thought it!" she screamed, flailing her cannon arm and knocking his pistol away. Samus made a labored jump back, once again aiming down her arm towards her quarries. "Now, shut up and DIE!"

This time, her Arm Cannon did not fire an energy blast, but instead unfolded into a compact missile launcher. One of the guided munitions spiraled out of the barrel, leaving a thin trail of smoke behind. Twilight conjured another defensive barrier around herself and her traveling companion, but upon the missile's impact and explosion, the lavender wall of energy disappeared.

"I can't keep it up," Twilight whimpered. "I just don't have the magical endurance to take many more hits like that."

"Too bad," crowed Samus, firing another missile. Twilight fought the urge to shut her eyes, knowing that if she focused, she might be able to survive. However, she found that would have been unnecessary, as a familiar figure picked a convenient time to land in front of her and slice the missile in half, allowing her to create a less-intense barrier to protect them and their savior from the blast.

A tattered red piece of cloth floated through the smoke, which parted to reveal Mikasa in all of her Recon Corps finery. The sword she extended in front of her was not one of her razor-like Paring Blades, but instead, a comparatively mundane katana.

Samus took a step back. "A-another one?" she sputtered. "I… I know… I can't-" She broke into a fit of coughing, lowered her weapon, transformed into her Morph Ball, and sped away. Alucard extended his hand, and his lost pistol floated back into it, sights centered on Mikasa.

"What a welcome," muttered the scout. "Is this how I'm repaid for saving you?"

Twilight raised a hoof toward Alucard. "Put the gun down. She's not with _them_, clearly."

Alucard made a soft grunt and lowered his weapon, tucking it back inside his coat.

"Sorry," apologized the unicorn. "Security measures, if you will. We're glad to see you, Mikasa."

"You could have fooled me," she growled in reply. "Where's the rest of the team?"

"Oh, they're, um… we're taking a two-pronged approach. Splitting up to maximize the search area."

"More like maximizing your chances of getting killed," she said while sliding the katana into a scabbard tied to her 3DMG's left box.

"There is a slight tactical disadvantage, yes," mumbled Twilight. "But with you around, it should be completely mitigated!"

Mikasa narrowed her eyes and removed a small item from her pocket, tossing it toward the unicorn, who caught it in mid-air with her magic.

"It's a lead to a VIW, no doubt," Mikasa stated as Twilight unfolded the paper and examined the emblem. She nodded in agreement.

"Then let's plot a course for these 'Second Street Ballrooms'. We've no time to waste."

The trio started off at a cautious walk, with Alucard once again taking his place at Twilight's side.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" he whispered.

"If we meet them there… it's better sooner than later," replied Twilight.

"What are you talking about?" pried Mikasa from behind.

"Oh, nothing much. Just when we'll meet the other half of the team," explained Twilight with a nervous giggle.

"All right. I was just checking. I don't like being left in the dark."

"Nobody does," whispered the unicorn.


	12. Tournament-ception

"There's a gathering of teams four hundred meters up the road. That's where they'll make their move, no doubt." Mr. Everdeen kept his eyes focused ahead, along the street that stretched so far ahead and so far below their rooftop perch.

"We should start closing in," asserted Dio. "But we'll need to keep our pace slow to avoid getting caught in the battle."

Filia ran her hand through her hair parasite idly, casting a nervous glance at her leader. "But… Lord Dio, isn't that what we want? To fight the other teams while they're occupied with each other, so that we have the advantage?"

"It would be if defeating those teams was our goal, Filia. Unfortunately, our mission's a little tougher than that," Dio explained. "Nightmare, Predator, are you ready? How are the communicators I gave you?"

Nightmare struggled to reach around the side of his helmet to apply the adhesive side of the small wire microphone. The Yautja calmed his fussing and placed it for him, giving Dio a thumbs-up. Dio removed his own microphone from one of his baggy pants' pockets and applied it next to his ear, gingerly tapping the streamlined housing.

"Test, test," he whispered.

"Loud and clear," confirmed Mr. Everdeen, having just put on his own.

"Good. Keeping in touch will be essential for coordinating our attack."

"I still don't understand, Lord Dio. What are we doing?" Filia whimpered.

Dio plucked another microphone out of his pocket and pressed it into her hands. "You'll get filled in on the way. Let's move!"

* * *

The wizard had grown tired of the bickering amongst the fighters, and was concerned that chaos could break out if the situation deteriorated further. Already the shopping court in which they had gathered was being filled to the brim with loud and irritable warriors, who were shining examples of the second law of thermodynamics. He raised his staff above the ground, checked to make sure that no one had noticed, and slammed its end back down, creating a mighty clap of thunder that silenced all arguments.

"Ahem," grunted Gandalf. "We have two courses of action to follow here. Either we settle things in an orderly fashion, which could not only prove as non-violent as possible, but also serve as a learning experience, or we can tread the path of _fools_ and rip each other apart like starved orcs! Now, which appeals more to you?"

"The first option," sighed Tris begrudgingly from the crowd.

"Good! Then let's organize things so we may proceed like civilized creatures. Could one representative from each team step forward, and introduce yourselves and your team? Here, I shall go first."

Gandalf took another step forward, pausing again to make sure everyone had seen.

"I am Gandalf the Grey. My party, named 'Magica Et Justi' by popular opinion, consists of myself, Harry Potter, the Dovahkiin, Ezio Auditore, and Leonidas of Sparta." As he said their names, each one raised a hand to identify themselves. A small yellow creature hopped onto Gandalf's shoulder and nuzzled him gently.

"Pika-pi," it cooed.

"And how could I forget Pikachu? Do you want some more Lembas bread? I'm all out, you see."

"Pi-ka-chu!" it chirped.

"All right, who is next? Once we get all of our teams here sorted out, we can proceed into organization."

"I'll go," said an intense-looking man clad in a ripped leather vest and bandages. "I am Kenshiro, rightful successor of Hokuto Shinken. Our team has no official name. Everyone just calls us the Martial Arts Guys, so that will suffice for now."

"It really could be a worse name," concurred Mr. Chuck.

"This," continued Kenshiro, "Is Mr. Chuck. He invented the Chun Kuk Do school. Ryu over there has trained in Ansatsuken, the Assassin's Fist. And finally, there is Captain Falcon. None of us are really sure what he does. He just keeps saying-"

"SHOW ME YOU MOVES!" belted the spandex-clad man.

"…that." Concluded Kenshiro.

And so the teams went around introducing themselves. It was, as Gandalf had wanted, an unusually civil event- they might as well have been in the common hall, and not in the middle of a round.

"Ugh, this is taking _forever_," whined Tris. John-117, her team's leader, turned and knelt to look her in the eye.

"Just be patient, okay, kid? They'll finish up soon."

"I just want another chance, ya know?" she said. "I've spent all of my time here getting' my ass handed to me- I just wanna prove I'm worth something."

"You will get your chance," smiled Shuya Nanahara, her teammate. She didn't really know too much about the boy other than he had also been defeated by Katniss, which at least gave them something to talk about. "But remember that we're all proving something, even now. We're standing here, working out our problems instead of behaving like animals. It means we can challenge the Master of Games' authority."

"You and your speeches," she groaned. "What's it matter if we 'challenge his authority', huh? We're still stuck here, ain't we? We ain't gettin' out any sooner."

The teenagers could sense a glare from behind John's orange visor. "You two. Behave."

"Yeah, whatever," huffed Tris.

The wizard raised his voice above the ever-louder rabble.

"That concludes our introductions, so it is time that we arrange how this tournament will play out. My team has worked out a plan- are any of you opposed to hearing it?"

Silence followed.

"Very well, I shall explain. As you may have realized, each team receives a clue for the location of the next VIW once they successfully kill a member of another team. Our goal is to minimize conflict while still providing a method for teams to obtain all of the clues. Teams will be paired off by the number of clues they have received. Each will provide one fighter, and the two will fight to the death. The winner's team rightfully receives the clue, and challenges the winner from a different set. Is that clear? Does it need work?"

Ryu raised his hand. "It seems a little undeveloped."

"I came up with it in about five minutes while you were all introducing yourselves," shrugged Gandalf.

"Fair enough," replied the martial artist.

"We've got one clue," shouted John over the crowd.

"Good, good!" called back Gandalf. "We have one as well. Our teams will square off, then."

"Then let's get to it," grunted the Spartan. The crowds shaped themselves around little open spaces for their chosen fighters to do battle, the volume of discussion picking up again as deliberation began.

"I'm calling dibs," snapped Tris.

"If it makes you happy, kid," the SPARTAN grumbled. "Just don't let us down, okay?"

"I'm more worried about lettin' myself down," Tris replied as she walked into the clearing made for her and her opponent to fight in. Gandalf nodded, acknowledging Tris as her team's challenger.

"In response to your use of a junior member, we shall bring forth our own."

The old wizard stepped aside, and the boy Tris recognized as Harry stepped into the clearing across from her.

"Good morning, Tris," he said politely.

"Uh… good mornin' to you, too?"

"It's been quite a while, hasn't it?"

"Yeah, I guess. I saw your ass get kicked by Katniss in that round with the ring."

Harry smiled. "And I saw her rout you soundly as well."

"Well, I was- I was off my game! Yeah, that's it. I totally didn't expect her to punch me."

"If I could have defended myself, I would have. However, you practically let her kill you. If you're going to whine and complain about losing, don't make excuses as to why."

Tris took a step back, offended.

"Hey! What gives you the right to criticize what I'm doing, acting like an adult, huh?"

"The first thing is that it's annoying and immature, and benefits no one. The second thing is that I _am_ an adult," said the teenaged boy frankly.

"Oh… so you lived long enough… and were brought here like that…"

He drew his wand from one of his cloak's oversized sleeves, spinning it in his fingers deftly.

"And judging by that reaction, you didn't. Which is probably also to account for your immaturity. Or did _that_ cause your early demise? But in the end, I suppose it doesn't matter."

"You suppo- what?! My God, do you just talk to hear yourself speak?!"

Gandalf's booming voice cut short any further conversation with a cry of "Let the tournament begin!"

Tris hopped backwards, keeping her eyes focused on her opponent. She had to figure out Harry's strategy, then devise a counter to it. That was all she needed- if she could just do that, then she could pull off a win for once. The boy was drawing slow circles in the air with his wand.

_Oh, yeah. He was the one going on and on about magic, right? Please. As if that's really going to-_

"Flippendo!"

Tris was knocked from her feet with enough force to fly back into the crowd that had bunched around the pair's battle. They roughly pushed her back into the clear, and took a few more steps back.

"The…hell?"

"Flippendo. The knockback jinx. This is the _easy_ stuff, Tris. I'm going to work my way up until you're dead."

"No, you won't," growled the girl, drawing her pistol. She lined up the boy in her sights and placed her finger on the trigger, but at that moment Harry completed another movement with his wand.

"Expelliarmus!"

The gun leapt up, out of Tris' hand, and clattered to the ground. More intricate movements of the wand followed, and the weapon snapped into Harry's open hand. He briefly aimed the weapon at the girl, then tilted it up and discharged its entire magazine, tossing it away.

"Did you really think that the wizarding world wouldn't have figured out a counter to firearms? You underestimate the power of magic, Tris."

Tris popped her knuckles, advancing toward Harry with clenched fists. "I ain't giving up until I've exhausted all my options," she hissed.

"Then I'll just have to exhaust them!" declared the wizard, bracing himself for the girl's attack. Tris led with her right arm, twisting her upper body into a brutal hammerfist. To her surprise, the blow connected, knocking a few teeth astray and crushing the boy's glasses. It was going well, or so it seemed. Then, as she began to follow through with a left uppercut, she noticed Harry's cunning smile.

_That can't be good._

"Ossio Dispersimus," he grunted as her left arm travelled past the tip of his wand. Tris felt a brief crackling sensation, as if her arm had been charged with static electricity, and then felt something that could only be described as an unsettling squishing feeling. Her left arm stopped in its tracks, immediately falling limp. Harry began to move the wand towards her other arm, but Tris rolled left and away from him- only to find that her unresponsive arm was not there to catch her, forcing her to smack into the ground. She desperately tried to right herself, but doing so with only one arm was more difficult than she had expected. Harry began to advance toward her, but she managed to find enough balance to perform a leg sweep, knocking the wizard to the ground. She used her momentum to force her legs beneath her and hop to her feet. Tris cradled her limp arm, only to find that nothing supported it past the shoulder- it bent in the middle like a piece of spaghetti.

"What did you do to me?!" she cried, kicking Harry in the gut.

"Gah! I- oh! Removed the bones," he whimpered between strikes.

"PUT THEM BACK!"

"Rictusempra," Harry replied. Tris fell over again, this time in a fit of violent laughter.

"Hey- stop- that- hahahaha!- No! Ha! Oh!"

Harry pushed himself to his feet, wiping blood away from his mouth with his long sleeves.

"A tickling spell. See, we have one for everything. And unfortunately for you, we have ones to kill as well."

"But-ha-ha! That wouldn't be any fun," chuckled Tris, easing herself off of the ground.

"It would not," said Harry sternly. "In fact, I normally have quite the issue with using them. But knowing that we all come back, I can justify one of the Forbidden Curses. Your death will be short and exceedingly painful."

"Not as painful as yours," grunted the girl, flicking a handful of throwing knives forward with her good arm. All of them found their marks, with two plunging into his stomach and the third cleaving his jugular vein. The impact knocked the boy backwards, but he managed to retain his footing.

"Ugh," he coughed, just before falling forwards onto the knives in his stomach. Tris threw her good arm into the air, shouting with triumph.

"Yes! I did it! I finally won! Suck it, Everdeen!"

She felt something touch her ankle, and looked down to find Harry's wand cradled in the hand of his outstretched arm, its tip aglow with green energy.

"Avada… Kedavara," breathed Harry. Tris collapsed instantly, and the boy regretted his decision before he died.

John-117 barged out of the crowd. "A double knockout? What the hell are we supposed to do with this?"

"I am working on it," muttered Gandalf, scratching his beard.

John-117 looked up, waiting for the clues to fall from above. They did- two white flecks materialized against the grey morning sky and proceeded to fall rapidly to the ground. John carefully stepped forward- making sure not to tread on the bodies of either of the teenagers- and snatched the clues out of the air, carrying them to the wizard.

"Here you go," he grunted, dropping them into Gandalf's outstretched hand. "Now how are we going to work this out?" The SPARTAN pointed to the paper-wrapped objects, indicating their shapes. "See? They're different."

"Well, I suppose you can take one and we can take the other, provided that it doesn't match the one you already have."

"That sounds reasonable. Let me double-check mine." The supersoldier fumbled through his armor's various storage compartments, finally finding what he was looking for. He held it behind huge, cupped hands to avoid anyone else seeing, looked down at it, then back up at the other two, then down again, then back up, only to find the other two clues missing. Gandalf looked down at his suddenly empty hand, gaping.

"What manner of sorcery is this?"

"Did you just _swipe_ them?" growled the huge man in the armor.

"No! Goodness, no! I believe they were swiped from _me!_"

John felt something like a strong breeze whip by his hand, and felt his fingers snap shut over where the clue he had held before used to be.

"You're right!" he yelped, spinning in place in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the true thief. Despite his efforts, he saw nothing. Similar shouts of confusion began to rise up from several of the teams that had gathered. Someone or something had stolen their clues from them, too.

"Tell them to calm down," ordered the SPARTAN of the wizard. "If we don't, all hell's gonna break loose."

"Yes, of course," agreed Gandalf, who drove his staff into the ground once again with a commanding roar of "SILENCE!"

The warriors obeyed the command, quieting themselves instantly. John-117 unclipped his sidearm, a rather bulky pistol, from the armor over his left thigh.

"There's something on the motion tracker," he said. "It's hopping all over the place, like crazy. Is it teleporting, or is it just that fast?"

Suddenly, there was a violent screech of rubber against pavement. A streak of smoke flared up in between the gathered fighters, zigging and zagging back and forth until it tapered to a mere wisp rising off of a pair of audacious-looking red shoes worn by a similarly audacious-looking creature, who skidded to a halt in front of John-117 and Gandalf. Its gloved hands were full of paper wads that no doubt contained the clues of countless teams, confirming it to be the thief. The sly grin across its short snout only further proved the point.

"Believe me, I am _just that fast_."

John aimed his pistol at the creature's disproportionally large head. "Listen, buddy. We've got enough guys here to catch you no matter how fast you are. And they won't have to if I put a bullet through you. Why don't you hand those over and give up?"

"Why don't you _make_ me?" he chuckled smugly.

"Your funeral," barked the SPARTAN, pulling the trigger. The instant he did, the creature disappeared from where it was, reappearing balanced on its tip-toes on the barrel of John's pistol.

"Now's the part where I ask _you _if you wanna give up," it said with a defiant stare.

"You… dodged a bullet… at point blank…" stammered John.

Gandalf nodded a slow, ominous nod. "Powerful sorcery."

The supersoldier shook his weapon, causing the creature to cartwheel off and land with astounding grace for such odd proportions.

"I'll empty a whole clip into you, if I have to!" John threatened. The creature didn't waver.

"And you think that's gonna work any better than one bullet? I'll give ya a clue, it won't."

John's hands trembled for the first time in a long time, and he lowered his pistol.

"He's right," sighed the gigantic power-armored man. "There's no point in shooting you if you can dodge it."

"That's right, big guy. You catch on fast."

"But… we cannot simply let him take the clues!" protested Gandalf.

"You think I want him to take them? I just don't need to waste bullets on a target I can't hit."

Gandalf clenched his eyebrows together even further. "But… those clues are essential to the success of this tournament!"

"Then you get them back. I'm out," replied the SPARTAN, clipping his pistol back on his thigh. He reached into the crowd, pulled out Shuya, flung the teenager over his shoulders, and sprinted away. Both Gandalf and the sly creature watched him depart, the former with shock and the latter with smug satisfaction.

"Well, if that's all there is, I'll be heading out too," scoffed the blue, spiky animal.

"Hold, you fiendish rogue!" chuffed Gandalf, drawing his longsword, and lowering the point toward the thief. "This is not over!"

"Nah," it replied, dropping a clue from between its fingers and catching in its palm in order to wag a finger toward the wizard. "It's over. Look behind you."

Gandalf turned, and barely dodged a stray blast of ki energy. The warriors he had spent so much time gathering had broken into a chaotic brawl.

"They… they did not listen…" he breathed in disappointment and fear, turning back to the thief. The reply he received did not come from the blue creature, as he had expected. It came instead from somewhere above him and to his left.

"You seem surprised, Gandalf," it said. It was a very strange voice. In his ear, it was female, small, and light. In his heart, it screamed and bellowed with some unholy, primal force that he should be very afraid. He looked up, locating this newcomer, and was startled. Descending to the ground was the thin, short frame of the odd, small elf he had encountered earlier, though this did not seem to be the same person in the slightest. For starters, that elf certainly could not fly on her own. Yet here this one was, alighting between the wizard and the blue creature slowly and gracefully.

"Look at them. You remove order and control and certainty for the briefest of moments and their nature is exposed," it continued, folding its arms across its chest and blinking its incomprehensibly-colored eyes. "Even animals have the civility to run from a situation they do not comprehend. But they believe that with their own strength they can set things right- that somehow they will be powerful enough to control that which they cannot. Only insects would sting that which is so vast they could not understand."

"By my beard… you… you're…"

The elfish-looking thing smiled.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie," it hummed, almost sing-song. "And with strange aeons even death may die."

"No, no. It cannot be," whispered the wizard, his voice wavering. "Why would he bring you here? What logic-"

"Logic?" smirked the being. "Of course it is logical. It is merely a logic you cannot comprehend. And like an insect, you find it offensive."

"You… why are you in… that form?"

"Oh, this?" It waved an arm to its slim, feminine figure. "A little present from an unwilling vessel. I think it looks rather nice. A mortal with just a hint of our ancient power… magical creatures are like a glimpse into the true supremacy of beings such as me."

"Hey, boss," the blue creature cut in. "If you're done monologue-ing, can I get these clues back to the safe point?"

The elf-looking thing sighed, placed three fingers of its left hand on its forehead, and gave the thief a sideways glare that could cause grown men to faint at forty meters.

"Did it sound like I was done monologue-ing?"

"Um, no, ma'am- er, sir-er- miss- I'll just go take care of it."

"You had better."

With that command, the spiny animal sped away in a blue blur. When the grey elf turned its head back to Gandalf, he had narrowly dodged an unconscious body that had been hurled his way by the rioting crowd.

"What is it that you want?" he cried, his terror evident.

"Nothing with you, if that's what you're concerned about. My goal is to play by the Master of Games' rules and utterly humiliate him. With one of the finest, most coordinated teams at my disposal, we will rise to any challenge he creates, we will emerge victorious, and when he is utterly broken, I shall destroy him again. Thanks to the clues we've received from your little tournament, we have all we need to win this round."

"You're… just going to play along?"

"You figured it out! Oh, how _wonderful_. I'm glad I don't have to repeat myself for you, Gandalf, but I suppose I should expect a shred of competence out of a Maiar like yourself."

"You told… me… everything. Are you not afraid that others will learn your secrets?"

The thing laughed- it was an innocent, joking laugh, the sort that bubbles up when you see an inebriated friend stumble into the doorframe before exiting the room, yet the circumstances surrounding the laugh removed any sense of gaiety.

"Ha-ha-hoo! Oh, no. You see, why do I care what anyone else knows? That knowledge cannot stop me. It's like I told you. You are _insects_."

And with those parting words, it vanished. Gandalf blinked, reassuring himself that what he had seen had been no hallucination due to his prolonged removal from hobbit pipe-weed. No, it certainly had not been- but that would not stop him from acquiring some of that smooth-smoking stuff later. He turned back to check the progress of the crowd's senseless brawl, finding only a few fighters left standing, already grappling with each other.

"Perhaps… it was right," he groaned. He resolved to make a low-key escape before anyone could blame him for the chaos, and began to move toward the court exit, which emptied onto a major thoroughfare. However, the wizard's streak of bad luck was only further prolonged by the team he found waiting on the street.

"You!" yelped Dio, motioning for his underlings to seize the wizard. The Yautja and Nightmare obliged, each taking an arm of the protesting Gandalf.

"You saw them, didn't you?" the vampire asked.

"Regrettably, I know exactly to whom you refer," trembled Gandalf. "It was working with a blue creature that departed in that direction-" he pointed further down the road, "and that is all I know."

"Your assistance was appreciated, wizard," oozed Dio. "But I'm afraid your usefulness has come to an end."

"Of course it has," Gandalf muttered.

Filia tapped her master's muscular shoulder. "Lord Dio… m-may I?"

"Fine. Go ahead. But make sure you get _all_ of his blood. I've known a few-"

The girl already had slipped her fingers under the wizard's beard, siphoning his blood out along her arm.

"Oh… ah… this… feels _awesome_," she giggled.

"Gughhhhh," gurgled Gandalf.

"Just… uh… tell us when you're done," Dio mumbled. He turned to his resident sniper and tracker, Mr. Everdeen.

"Do you think you can still get a fix on them?"

"I should be able to," replied the hunter.

Nightmare let go of Gandalf's arm, and the Predator followed suit. He couldn't struggle anymore, anyway. "Wonderful," growled the demonic knight. "Another setback."

Dio shook his head. "Not a setback. An opportunity. They have to regroup and plan. That gives us time to strike."

Filia removed her hand from under the wizard's neck, breathing heavily.

"Whew," she gasped. "What a rush! I feel unstoppable!"

"You had better be," muttered Dio.

* * *

A girl's voice. "And they made you _live under the stairs_? Harsh."

Then, a boy's. "In retrospect, it could have been worse. But it could have been a lot better. I would call the experience formative."

Gandalf blinked the darkness out of his eyes to find himself back in the common hall, as expected. The table in front of him was occupied by the two young warriors who had been participating in the tournament when everything went awry.

"Excuse me," he interrupted. "Would you mind if I sat down?"

"Not at all, Mr. Gandalf," said Harry, gesturing to an open chair. "Really was a botched job, eh?"

"I assume you saw everything?" the wizard asked.

Tris nodded. "Yep. Including all the weird stuff. Like, what the hell was up with that girl's hair? Always twitching. _Messedup_, I tell ya."

Harry followed with another question. "So, who was that one that looked like Holly?"

"Oh, that? That was one of the things I warned you about, Harry," said the wizard with a sigh.

The younger wizard's eyes widened. "Here? In the arenas with us? What should we do?"

"If what it said was true… and I have no way to tell, mind you- nothing."

"Nothing?" Harry seemed dissatisfied.

"What are you guys even talking about?" questioned Tris.

"It is very complicated," said Gandalf. "To explain it to you would be a great risk. If you misunderstood, or took the wrong course of action, many lives would be at stake. Therefore, I am keeping that information within my own team."

"Psh, whatever! Keep it 'within your own team'. See if I care. I'll figure it out on my own, anyway."

"What makes you think that you'll be able to pull that off?" asked Harry.

"I beat you. That means I'm on the way up!" Tris declared with a raised index finger. "If I just keep at it, I'll get strong enough so that nobody can beat me! And then I can do whatever the hell I want!"

The girl punctuated her statement with a slam of her fist, followed by her rising from the table and walking to the exit.

"I'm pretty sure _I_ won, though," mused Harry. "I got the last shot in, so to speak."

"Indeed," concurred Gandalf.


	13. Midlife Crisis

Hermione looked concerned. "And you think this'll work?"

"Absolutely certain. The second he eats those charmed beans, he'll never ask me for my treacle tart again. It's wicked," Ron whispered.

"But, isn't playing a prank on your friend… unethical?"

"Unethical? This is a protection of _my_ interests! He can have all the treacle tarts he wants, so long as they're not mine."

Harry returned to the table the three had acquired for studying. Mid-terms were close at hand, and snack-filled evenings pouring over textbooks had become the order of the day for the last week. The bespectacled boy stuffed two hands into his cloak and produced two napkin-wrapped pastries.

"I managed to snag a couple treacle tarts from the Great Hall," smiled Harry.

"Taking after Ron, are you? Heaven help us," Hermione sighed.

"Wait, only two? There's three of us," noted the ever-observant Ron.

"I could only grab two. One of the ghosts would have spotted me. Here, you two take them. I see you've got some Bertie Botts' Beans there, they'll do."

"No, no!" interjected Ron with a concern that startled Harry. Hermione gave the Weasley a sideways glance. "Listen- you can have my tart. You went to the trouble of getting it."

"Oh. Well, thank you, Ron. They are my favorite."

"Don't mention it," replied Ron, idly scarfing down a few beans from the pouch. He paused, looked down, and moaned aloud.

"What's the matter, Ron?" asked Harry, worried for his friend. "You can have the tart if you really want it. It's fine by me."

"No! No!" wept the afflicted young wizard. "I'm fine, really."

"I insist," said Harry, pushing the syrup-soaked pastry to Ron's end of the table. Ron looked down at it with barely-concealable revulsion, and reluctantly took a bite, shivering with disgust. Hermione burst into riotous, if somewhat guilty laughter.

_That Ron. He's just like that, even now._

"What are you laughing about?" asked Piccolo, seated in midair a few feet ahead of her. The two had been meditating in complete silence in the Namekian's vast, empty quarters until the girl's outburst had broken their concentration simultaneously.

"Oh… it's nothing. Just good old memories. Do you ever look back and think about when things just seemed simpler? And you feel like you wish it was that way again?"

A heavy green brow shifted under his turban.

"I… uh… I guess so."

"Those were the days," she sighed wistfully.

Piccolo gave a nod that indicated he was just going to go along with what she said. "Uh… huh."

"Blast, that just made me realize!" she shouted, her voice filled with frustration. "This… all of this-" she waved to her tween body- "and the reminiscing! I'm having a _mid-life crisis!_"

"Um," mumbled Piccolo.

Hermione stood up in midair, placing her hands on her head in exasperation.

"I can't have a mid-life crisis! I have to help save the metaverse! And more importantly, I have _children_ to raise!"

"HEY!" roared Piccolo, quieting Hermione's conniption instantly. Once the Namekian acknowledged that she had his attention, he continued.

"Listen up, kid. Meditation is about looking deep inside yourself. Not because you want to relive the good old days and not because you want to blame the way things are now on yourself, but because that inner peace is the only way to achieve a higher level of understanding as to how the universe works! Now, did you actually do anything productive while meditating at _all_?"

"Well, yes," she said, sounding a little offended. "I devised a method of using my ki energy to augment spells."

Piccolo blinked. "Oh. That's- that's good."

"And I also have been theorizing a charm that allows me to enter a state of further-enhanced ki channeling."

"You're a smart kid, you know that?"

"I do."

Piccolo exhaled slowly and floated to the ground. Hermione followed suit, arms folded across her chest sternly.

"Listen, you can head wherever now. Just be back in a few hours. We've got to get you to practice your abilities before they send you out."

"Understood. I'm going to go pick up my new Scouter from requisition. Maybe I'll see if I can get you an AEGIS so you don't have to stay cooped up down here."

Piccolo made a short, snorting sound.

"I'd rather stay cooped up down here."

"I'm getting you one anyway."

_And I think I'll get myself a treacle tart._


	14. Night Terrors

The apple rose, reached the apex of its narrow arc, and fell into waiting hands. They tossed it back up again, and let it fall to catch it again. Shimmering green eyes followed the fruit through its repeated ascents and descents.

"Bored," declared Morrigan. "Bored, bored, bored, bored, bored." She had lain herself across one of the loveseats in the hotel's lobby, and was attempting to amuse herself the best she could in public. The next time she threw the apple skyward, it was splattered into a fine mist by a well-aimed bullet. A trail of smoke rose lazily from the end of an oversized revolver, held aloft by a lanky arm. The weapon's operator frowned, removing the lollipop from between her lips to speak.

"If you're bored, why don't you go make more advances on our pilot?"

"I think he's still recovering from meetin' me," the succubus sighed. "He went and locked himself in his machine and I haven't seen 'im since."

The woman with the gun lowered her weapon. "You do know he's-"

"I know _exactly_ what he's doin'. It means I've accomplished my purpose, aye?"

"You are an odd bird," muttered the woman, folding her long, shapely legs over themselves in her seat. "But I think that's why I like you."

"Aw, ain't that cute?" cooed Morrigan, fluttering over to her companion's couch. "Ye want to know the reason _I _like _you_?"

"Am I interrupting something?" asked the blue, spiky creature pushing his way through the door. Morrigan hopped off of the woman's couch and floated down to greet the new arrival.

"Well, if it isn't Sonnae the brush hog!"

"_Sonic_,_" _he clarified. "the _hedgehog._"

"I daen't care what yer name is, you cute lil' fuzzball. I'll take ye and stuff ye between-"

"LOOK!" he cried in distress, holding up his hands. "I'VE GOT THE CLUES!"

"That's just divine, darling," called the other woman on the couch.

Sonic scowled. "I don't need any of your antics, either, Bayonetta. I do what the boss says and the rest of ya can keep your hands off me, you hear?"

"Just set them on the coffee table," instructed their boss, appearing behind Sonic and giving everyone in the room a scare.

"Would you STOP doing that?!" yelped the hedgehog, zipping to the indicated table and placing the clues as ordered.

"No. I will not stop doing that," said the elfish creature flatly. "However, I do believe I have found something that will make our cooperative experience much more productive."

"Is it something to keep those two's hands off of everyone else?" asked Sonic dryly.

"As long as it's chains," smiled Morrigan. "Or bondage."

Their boss let its forehead fall into an open hand.

"No," it sighed. "It is none of those things."

Everyone made disapproving noises.

"It is, however, a name. From now on, you may address me as _Poppy_ Short."

Morrigan looked confused. "But yer nae't actually related to that firecracker 'Olly, are ye?"

"No. But it was something clever I picked up while I was stuck inside her head. An old nickname. While I normally would not approve of such informalities, I do believe it will streamline communication, which will be necessary for this sort of operation."

"I wonnae have 'spected ye to give yerself a _name_, though."

"I have a real name. But you mortals would butcher the pronunciation."

"What_ever_," moaned Sonic, dashing to an unoccupied couch. "You're Poppy now. Woo-hoo."

"I can understand your lack of enthusiasm," said Poppy. "So perhaps I can pique your interest with the next order of business. You girls, get to opening those clues. Sonic, go and find everyone else."

"I'm on it," replied the hedgehog, zipping out of the room and leaving a clearly-defined blur behind.

Poppy crossed its arms and tapped a foot in mock impatience, its vast intellect stewing with thoughts.

_I can lie to those fools for as long as I want. But the spell of that unicorn did something to me, and now I cannot escape this form. And worse, now I am acting without thinking. I _laughed _back there. And now I have given myself a name to help these insects communicate with me? No, I cannot defend these decisions as rational. My current directives stand, however. Perhaps I can humiliate that brother of mine before I am completely lost. Yes, I am sure that I can._

Sonic raced back into the room with the other team members trailing far behind. He reclaimed his seat from earlier and crossed his thin arms and legs with a _hmph._ The two that followed were not in such a hurry. The first was a short, thin, and baby-faced man with well-defined muscles and a head of particularly erratic blonde hair. Over his shoulder was swung a gigantic slab of metal that could generously be described as a sword. He sunk into a recliner and kicked it back, planting his weapon in the floor next to him. The second was a teenager in a blue uniform jacket, who awkwardly found a seat as close to Morrigan as he could.

"How's my adorable le'l pilot doin'?" asked the Succubus.

"Oh, uh, fine," he replied shakily. "How about y-you?"

"Oll right," she said, floating up from the table and landing on the sofa's arm next to the boy. "Jest a le'l bored."

"Eheh-heh-heh," giggled the boy nervously.

The final member of the team, a man clad in a military-spec stealth suit loaded down with weapons and equipment, tread into the room silently and took up a spot along a nearby wall. He opened a water-tight storage pouch and drew a cigarette and lighter, taking a few dignified puffs before strolling over to where the rest of the group sat gathered around the coffee table.

"That's everyone," confirmed Sonic.

"Then we can proceed with our planning," said Poppy. "There are three different targets. What do our clues have to say about them?"

Bayonetta raised a wispy hand with a set of three clues balanced in her fingers. "Addresses. A ballroom, a foundry, and an office building."

Poppy closed its eyes for a moment, and began to synthesize a plan.

"The targets are in varied structures. These structures, regardless of the targets inside, will provide us with different challenges and threat levels. I will divide you into two teams. Each team will silence a separate target."

"But, there are three targets," noted Sonic.

Poppy's incomprehensible eyes opened, fixed on the hedgehog in an ambiguous glare.

"I will destroy the target located in the ballroom, which I have assessed to have the lowest threat level, on my own."

Sonic shrugged. "Suit yourself."

"Your teams will consist of a long-range, close-range, and mid-range fighter. Sonic, Morrigan, and Haruto will compose team One. Your target will be the foundry. Make use of Haruto's machine's long-ranged weapons to draw the enemy out, then wear them down in melee combat. Cloud, Bayonetta, and Snake will compose team Two. You will infiltrate the office building, putting your subterfuge skills to use. Make sure to keep Cloud, your 'heavy-hitter', safe until you reach the VIW. Then feel free to 'cut loose'. Understood?"

"Infiltration," smiled Snake, exhaling a stream of smoke. "I love infiltration."

Sonic raised his hand. Poppy gave him a go-ahead nod.

"I don't mean to question your, ah, wisdom," said the hedgehog. "But how are we supposed to avoid getting caught out in the open? With just teams of three, we could get overwhelmed pretty easy."

"How interesting of you to raise that point," Poppy responded. "You are the last member of our team that would ever get overwhelmed. You care about the well-being of others."

"Well, sorry," snapped Sonic. "It's who I am."

"It is not a bad thing," said Poppy, which genuinely surprised Sonic. "If a team does not care about its members, then it is certain to fail. To answer your question, by traveling near Haruto's Valvrave unit, most other teams will avoid you. Only other mecha units would try and pursue, and the Valvrave is exceptionally maneuverable. You should be fine. However, if you wish to make sure, you could always scout the route to the foundry ahead of time."

"I think I will," grunted the hedgehog as he got up.

"Thanks, man," called Haruto from his seat.

"Don't mention it," replied Sonic.

He waved an open hand toward Bayonetta. "Hand me one of the clues with the address, will ya?" The woman nodded and tossed him a re-wrapped clue, and the hedgehog sped out the door.

"Ah, the wee creature," gushed Morrigan. "Selfless t'a fault!"

"If team Two doesn't plan on doing any scouting, then you had better head out," ordered Poppy.

"We don't," said Cloud, pulling his sword out of the floor. The rest of his sub-team got up from their seats and followed him to the door- except for Bayonetta, who paused on a squeaky floorboard.

"What's the matter?" asked the mercenary as he propped open the door with his arm.

"You put your sword in the floor."

"Yeah. So what?"

Bayonetta lifted her other foot off of the floor slowly. "The floor is hollow," she continued.

"Most floors are," growled Cloud.

"There's something down there," she whispered.

Poppy suddenly snapped to attention, as if it was a marionette being pulled up by the strings.

"She is right. They are here. Prepare yourselves."

Immediately the floor underneath Bayonetta exploded, sending wooden planks flying as a wiry, skeletal, pitch-black arm with greedy claws shot up in an attempt to snag the woman's leg. Bayonetta, as an Umbran witch, was quite prepared, and immediately triggered the massive pistol that had been built into her suit as a high heel. The bullet severed the arm from its owner, and a splatter of dull green liquid threw itself onto the floor and began to smoke profusely. Bayonetta cartwheeled backward and drew her hand-held pistols as the Xenomorph used its remaining arm to hoist itself out of the floor, rising to its full, terrifying height in the lobby.

"Gaaah!" squealed Haruto. "I don't want to die! Morrigan, save me!"

The succubus snagged the boy by the collar and stuffed his face into her chest, raising her free arm and firing a Soul Fist to stagger the creature.

"Pardon me," she said. "But ey thocht ye said ye was immortal?"

"Mmph mph," confessed Haruto.

An armor-plated backhand sent Morrigan and Haruto tumbling forward. The Predator de-cloaked behind them, wiping the succubus' blood off of its gauntlet as its plasma caster unfolded over its shoulder. Snake's hand flew to his sidearm's holster, and in less than a second, a bullet severed the caster's plasma feed cable, rendering it useless.

"Thanks!" called Morrigan, spreading her wings and flying off of the floor, still clutching Haruto to her chest. She spun to face her attacker, jetted forward, and drove a dent into the Yautja's mask with her fist. Cloud rolled back through the doorway as the massive frame of Nightmare charged through it, showering the room in broken glass. The massive Buster Sword rose in time to halt a downward slash from Soul Edge.

"Ha!" roared the demonic knight. "I have not faced a sword like that in _years!_"

"Is that… a good thing?" asked the mercenary.

"Your soul will be _delicious_!"

"I guess not." Cloud rolled backwards , pushing his opponent away with a kick. He knew that the logical follow-up would be to rush forward with a horizontal strike, in order to force Nightmare off-center. He stepped forward, bringing his sword to the ready, when something snaked out of the floor and wrapped itself around his boot.

"What the hell?"

Something else wrapped around the end of his sword, pulling it out of his grip and flinging it to the far side of the room. Cloud was about to object again when another something coiled around his neck and pulled him to the floor. More black strands rose to restrain him, locking down his arms and remaining leg.

Poppy dove through the chaos to examine the struggling warrior, taking a close look at the bonds that were holding him down.

"It's… hair," it whispered. She raised a hand and stopped Nightmare's attack in mid-swing, giving the cursed warrior a disapproving look before flicking a wrist and sending him flying out of the building. Several more strands of hair rose from under the floorboards and attempted to restrict Poppy's arms and legs, but the elfish creature ripped them apart before they could tighten.

"Bayonetta, what do you make of this?" asked Poppy.

"It's not me," she hissed, firing another stream of bullets into the now-spongy-looking Xenomorph. "Why would it be me?"

"I did not say it was you," barked Poppy. "I merely thought this would be your area of expertise."

The witch shook her head. "Well, I don't know what to- look out!"

Despite Bayonetta's brief efforts, Poppy was not able to avoid the drill-like, spinning mass of hair that had accumulated just out of sight, which promptly extended forward and impaled the elf-like thing.

Poppy hacked up a stream of black, inky ichor.

_This is bad. This form cannot respond as quickly as I would like. I am certain I can recover from this injury, but if I am incapable of protecting my team members-_

"THE WORLD!"

A pulse of light flashed the room into negative colors, freezing the cacophonic battle instantly. Dio sauntered into the room, his green heart charms jangling as he walked.

"Nice place you had here," he remarked. "Well, nice _enough_. I would really appreciate something a little more high-end."

He crossed over shattered floorboards and walked to where Poppy was held in place by the spike of hair, her black blood frozen in mid-air. Dio flicked a drop, causing it to bounce away.

"I know the Master of Games will be very pleased to know that I've dealt with you. Can't have you getting too far ahead, now can we?"

Poppy remained frozen, an expression of shock and agony etched onto its face.

"You're really unlucky," continued Dio. "You may think that being on the receiving end of one of my apprentice's Ringlet Spikes is bad, but I found an abandoned construction site nearby, and I decided to leave you a gift on the roof. Actually, it's not on the roof anymore. Should be a few stories down. You'll get it soon enough."

Dio turned away from his target, took a few steps, and stopped. "Time will now flow again," he said.

As the inverted colors retreated, havoc charged forward, enveloping the lobby in chaos once more. Dio dodged a few stray bullets and turned to watch his target die. He was aghast to find that the creature that called itself Poppy was not where it had been, leaving behind an ink-soaked ringlet of hair.

"What? Impossible!"

"Not impossible, Dio," said Poppy, suddenly behind him. It snapped its thin fingers, and Bayonetta unleashed a storm of lead toward the vampire, who activated his Stand again. He stepped out of the path of the bullets, only to find Poppy at his side, shaking its head.

"You are not the only one who can manipulate time. And I suggest you use that Stand of yours to defend yourself."

Too shocked to disagree, Dio brought The World's ethereal form to his side, the Stand locking its arms around the vampire in defense. With a flick of Poppy's fingers, the strands of hair that had once impaled the elf-like creature snapped around the vampire's legs, immobilizing him.

"Good," smiled Poppy. "Time will now flow again."

Dio's time stop was undone by those words, returning the room to normal once more. Bayonetta was shocked to see her boss reappear in another location, and significantly less harmed.

"Poppy, you're-"

"Do not worry about me. Just take a few steps back."

Bayonetta obliged, noticing a distinct rumbling from the ceiling as she did so. "What's that sound?"

"It's a road roller," sobbed Dio.

The witch looked puzzled. "A _what_?"

"IT'S A ROAD ROLLER!" he cried, as the piece of construction equipment plowed through the ceiling and crushed him, drawing the attention of everyone in the room and bringing a close to the battle.

Snake scratched his head. "What the hell?"

"The Master of Games' team," explained Poppy. "Expect them to be our perennial rivals."

"Lovely," scoffed Morrigan, wiping glowing green Yautja blood off of her knuckles. "So wey'll be seein' 'em a lot?" She plucked Haruto out of her chest and set him on the ground.

"I d-didn't mind," he mumbled, seeming a little dizzy.

"O' course ye didn't," she cooed.

"I… uh… need to go check that no one sabotaged the Valvrave. I'll… uh, be boo- I mean, back." He stumbled off upstairs like a drunkard.

"That hedgehog sure picked a nice time to make his exit," noted Bayonetta.

"Coincidence, I am certain," defended Poppy. It noticed the mysterious hair-tendrils retract through the floorboards. "This _apprentice_ of his intrigues me, though. Another maliakinetic. Interesting."

"Do you think they're still around?" grunted Cloud, pulling himself off of the floor. "'Cause I'd like to have a word with them."

"With a power like that, I wouldn't put them more than about sixty meters away," said Bayonetta. "Nobody could possibly top _my_ abilities."

"Your actual maliakinesis is not particularly strong, Bayonetta," Poppy pointed out. "But thanks to your other abilities, the effect is greatly enhanced."

"Whatever," scoffed the witch. "I don't care about the technical mumbo-jumbo."

Poppy returned to order-giving mode. "Morrigan, I need you and Haruto to get out of here. I will accompany you to your destination to make up for Sonic's absence. As for team Two, you should head toward your target as well. I know for a fact that Dio is not dead underneath that primitive road-paving device, and no one should be left around here once he gets out from under it. Understood?"

Four nods confirmed that they did understand.

"Good. Let's move out."


	15. Friends in High Places

Katniss gave Holly a disbelieving look. "So you just thought that if you did something that looked the same, it would work?"

"Well, no. I understood the principles. You channel ki to enhance your striking speed, then you strike pressure points as fast as possible. I just didn't have the exact order right," Holly explained.

"That, and Dio was _completely immune_," Ryuko pointed out. "It was a bulletproof strategy!"

"I was trying to buy time for you to escape," replied the elf with a healthy dose of snark. "But somebody figured, oh, gee, let's watch Holly throw all the punches. That'll be safe."

"There is no need for such arguments. Our team won that round. And those events are in the past," said Adam.

"You're right, sighed Ryuko. "Sorry, Holly."

"It's okay. Ruby, where are we at?"

Ruby checked the stop sign on the intersection. "We are currently crossing… Thirty-Fourth street!"

"We're still a ways off, then," sighed Katniss solemnly. The team had been walking for a few hours, and as midday approached, the pavement got hotter and hotter. None of them were out of shape, but walking in the heat was significantly more grueling than walking in the cool of the night. That, and the fear of an ambush by another team kept the group irritable.

Ryuko gave a dismissive wave. "Ah, don't sweat it. We've got this one in the bag."

"I'm not so sure. We did have a bit of a _delay_," sneered Holly.

"Hey! It's not my fault that we got ambushed by the crazy hair chick and then had to save your asses," Ryuko spat.

"Yeah, but if you didn't run off with your shiny new toy in the first place, we'd have fought Sol off with no trouble!"

"You sure? 'Cause I think he would have pissed me off either way, and you all know how that ended up!"

"To be fair, you wouldn't have run into Sol Badguy if you didn't go into the mall," offered Katniss.

"And exactly whose idea was _that_, I wonder?" screamed the elf.

"Hey! Don't drag me into the middle of this!" Ruby protested.

"Excuse me," said Adam softly.

"Well, maybe if you were a half-decent fighter, you wouldn't have to worry about relying on me to solve all of our big problems!" Ryuko fumed.

Adam tried to interject again. "There's something that you should-"

"I may not be that strong, but I at least know how to use teamwork to gain the upper hand! The team is at its strongest when we're not split up for our own private adventures!" roared Holly.

"Oh, so I guess your whole 'I'm suspicious of Twilight' thing doesn't count? Or does kicking out our resident brainiac and immortal vampire guy actually improve our chances of winning?"

"Look out!" yelled the artificial man, pulling Holly and Ryuko out of the middle of the street as a massive trail of dust ripped past, shattering windows and uprooting shrubberies from the sidewalk as it went.

"What in Frond's name was _that_?" asked Holly, bewildered. She did not have to wait long to find out, as the sound of screeching rubber echoed back and the dust trail floated off, revealing a short, blue figure that immediately turned around and rushed back toward them.

"It's coming back!" yelped Ruby. "Save yourselves!"

The team drew their weapons, ready for an imminent attack. What they weren't ready for was the strange creature halting in front of them and waving a greeting to Ryuko.

"Hey, man!" it chirped. "Long time no see!"

The girl blinked slowly. "Um, hello?"

"What's up with the cold shoulder, dude? Don't you recognize me?"

"Uh…"

"C'mon, Shadow. Don't tell me you're having one of your bouts of amnesia again. You really need to have that looked into."

"I have no idea who you are," Ryuko said flatly. "And I really don't think I'm anybody named Shadow. I'm Ryuko Matoi, and I'm from-"

"Aw man! You think you're a _Japanese_ android this time! That's crazy. Well, I guess I'll have to jog your memory. I'm Sonic, Sonic the hedgehog."

Adam nudged Holly and discretely pointed a finger toward the blue creature as it carried on its discussion with Ryuko. "Look in his hand," he said. "He is carrying a clue." Holly confirmed that within the hedgehog's gloved hand was a wadded-up piece of paper, identical to the two they had collected so far.

"So there's a fox," asked Ryuko, struggling with the concept, "and an… enchilada?"

"_Echidna_," corrected Sonic. "A spiny anteater."

"Oh, okay."

"See? You're getting' it!"

"You know, I think you're making a serious mistake here," sighed the girl. "I'm not-"

"Oh my goodness!" yelped Holly. "You've figured it out! He was always brooding about where he came from, but you've figured it out!"

"Don't mention it," chuckled Sonic, shooting them a thumbs-up.

_"_What are you_doing_?" whispered Ryuko.

"He's got a clue," mouthed Holly in response. "Roll with it."

"Oh, yeah!" started Ryuko. "You know, I think I am beginning to recall some things…"

"Hey, I bet I know exactly what would get you back on the right track. A race."

"A… race," she whimpered. "Just… like old times?"

"Exactly. I'll run, and you can start off by trying to keep up. If you pass me, then you pick the route."

"But how will we know who wins?"

"Winning? Pssh, _you'll _say you'll win no matter what happens. I'm just in it for the thrill, man."

"No, I'm gonna win," declared Ryuko. "'Cause I'm Shadow, and I'm the best!"

"Typical Shadow," scoffed Sonic. "Let's go!" he said, disappearing in a blue blur.

Ryuko watched the hedgehog speed down the street. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?"

"He's got a clue!" exclaimed Holly. "Clearly, he's leading a team to one of the VIWs! If they're going to get there, they might win! So go steal it!"

"Oh, okay, I see. Guess you're lucky I'm the fastest one on the team," Ryuko laughed hopping into the air. "Senketsu SHIPPU!" Her outfit converted into its flight form and she blasted off after her quarry.

"Wait…" said Ruby, looking concerned. "If she's gone, then aren't we in the same situation we were before? When we thought we killed her?"

"Aw, crap," moaned Katniss.

Holly nodded. "You're right. But look at us! We've covered a lot of ground without _needing _Ryuko to fight for us, and we haven't really run into much danger, have we?"

A gigantic blue robot flew into the building to their left, the walls crumbling as it slumped against the frame. Down Thirty Fourth Street, two other huge robots were sparring.

"D'Arvit," swore Holly.

A light bulb went off in Katniss' head. "Wait a minute. Maybe we're not doomed."

Holly rolled her eyes. "Oh, really? Please, tell me how this is not the worst possible situation."

"What is the only thing as strong as Ryuko?"

"I dunno," replied Ruby. "A jabberwocky?"

Katniss answered her own question for brevity's sake. "A giant robot."

The elf lifted an eyebrow. "Go on."

"As you can see, this robot-" she said pointing to the blue one, which was picking bits of apartment complex out of its armor- "and that other one down there-" she pointed to a tall, black robot with huge arms- "Are both fighting that little red one. I'm willing to bet that if we help either side out, they might owe us a favor."

"You are one manipulative kid," smirked Holly. "And I mean that in the nicest way possible."

"All right!" shouted Ruby. "Let's go make some friends in high places!"


	16. The Hands of God, Inc

Simon slammed into the back of his seat as Gurren Lagann toppled once again. What little his displays had to tell him was bad news. Spiral Energy output was low. Gurren Lagann was one tough machine, but it wouldn't be any good if its pilots were reduced to smears on the inside of their cockpits.

"Simon!" called Kamina's voice over the intercom. "I don't think we can take much more of this!"

"C'mon, bro. We've got to pull through! We can't just give up!"

"But no matter what we try, we- argggh!" Kamina was cut off by another explosion rolling the already-grounded mech onto its faces. They had the misfortune of running into a team of two other large machines, both of whom were putting up much more of a fight than they had anticipated.

The first of the two other robots stomped up behind them. Simon felt Gurren Lagann shift as the other machine's massive hand closed and began to lift them skyward. It was a tall, stocky behemoth, several times Gurren Lagann's size. It was coal-black, and looked a bit like a furnace and a stovepipe too, with lumbering pillars for legs and a single glowing vent in its portly middle. Its huge, lanky arms were like pistons, and atop a tapering neck sat a small, stern-looking helmeted head with inquisitive glowing eyes. The whole thing seemed like an angry steam locomotive.

"Listen up," called its pilot. "This is your last chance at negotiation. I present to you the exact same offer. Abandon your Megadeus, and we will let you live. If you continue to resist, our party, The Hands Of God, Incorporated, will be forced to destroy you _and_ your machine." Simon heard the panels surrounding him begin to groan as the giant hand clamped around Lagann's head began to squeeze.

"Simon! What if they-"

"We're not giving in, Kamina. We're going to keep on fighting until our dying breath- that's how Team Dai-Gurren rolls!"

"If that's the way you want it," snipped the voice of the second machine's pilot. Another barrage of missiles jolted Gurren Lagann, tossing it from the black robot's hand and onto the ground again. The other machine was about as large as the first, a few magnitudes larger than the Gunmen. Its tall, blue, and boxy arms and legs were decorated with a dramatic flame paint job. Currently, several panels in its long limbs had folded open to expose its seemingly endless supply of missiles.

"Come on, Roger," he continued. "They ain't gonna give up. Let's finish 'em right now, before they try and get another good hit in."

"Fine," replied the other pilot. "We could stand another clue anyway." The steam-engine robot's upper body rose on tracks, and a small battery of gunbarrels peeked through the heavy armor.

"Okay, we've got to act fast," commanded Holly. The whole team bore down on the brawling robots, sprinting as quickly as they could. "We need to decide who to support!"

"The red machine appears to be losing," noticed Adam. "Therefore, the combination of the other two must be stronger."

"Nope!" Ruby interjected. "That's the red robot we saw earlier. It's totes _radical! _We gotta go save it!"

"Any objections?" asked Holly.

"Having one of those things is a good strategy anyway," said Katniss.

Adam shook his head. "I shall concede to Ruby's judgment."

"Okay, we're fighting for the underdog! Ruby, Adam, take the blue one over there! Katniss, you're with me!"

The fighters split into their groups, chasing down their targets. Ruby shielded her eyes with her hand, looking up at the blue robot. "Its head looks a little funny. Different from the rest of it," she said.

"Do you think it may be a weak point?"

"One way to find out!" chirped the girl, who hopped into the air. Adam stretched out his arms just in time to catch her. "This time, we _won't_ miss! FASTBALL!"

"_BESONDERE!" _Adam bellowed, flinging Ruby with all of his might. The huntress nimbly flipped, placing her back to her target and unfolding Crescent Rose to its full scythe form. A few blasts later, and she had propelled herself all the way to the machine's bus-sized shoulders. With an extended blade, she arrested her movement in time to land gracefully.

"HEY!" called a voice next to her. Ruby looked over and found the startled-looking face of a scruffy, stout man sitting in a cherry-red muscle car.

Ruby put two and two together. "Oh. _That's_ why it looked funny. Its head is a car."

"Yeah, it's a car," barked the man, annoyed. "It's a 1971-"

Ruby silenced him by firing a shot into the air. "I'm just going to chop it off, okay?"

She dropped down to the central body module and placed Crescent Rose's blade along the beefy neck joints, firing the rifle portion of the weapon to drive the scythe through the reinforced metal. This made the man in the car quite distressed. He left his spot in the driver's seat, tumbling out the door clumsily.

"Wait!" he cried. "You can't-"

Adam landed on the car's hood, his broad feet punching holes around the engine block.

"Nope," giggled Ruby. "We will."

The man scrambled back into the car, grabbing the mouthpiece of a CB radio. "ROGER!" he screamed, jolting in his seat as the car's connection to his robot was severed beneath him. "I NEED SOME HELP!"

Roger Smith eased back on his controls, looking up from the red machine. "This is really inconvenient, Coop," he moaned.

"I'M ABOUT TO LOSE MEGAS!" crackled the voice on the other end of the line. "GET OVER HERE!"

"Fine," sighed the negotiator, running a gloved hand through his neatly-gelled hair. He ran one arm forward along Big O's control rails, and the black Megadeus gave his target one last punch before departing to assist his ally.

"They're leaving," breathed Simon with relief.

"And the other guy stopped shooting." Already Kamina sounded more confident.

Simon grinned a fiery grin. "Then let's hit 'em with everything we've got."

"Thanks, Simon," called the voice from below. "I would have given up if it wasn't for you."

"Don't thank _me_. It was your belief in yourself that let you pull through."

With the final bullet in the magazine, Crescent Rose severed the car from the neck of the robot. Ruby hopped out of the way to load another clip while Adam gave the vehicle a shove, causing it to tumble off of its gigantic perch- its occupant still inside. The two warriors gave each other a congratulatory high-five, and waited for the sound of steel crunching against the pavement.

"Huh," wondered Ruby. "You think it would have gone _smush_ by now."

Suddenly, a massive black pillar rose from in front of the decapitated blue machine, cradling in its steam-engine hands the car they had worked so hard to remove.

"That is not good," stated Adam plainly.

The Megadeus shifted the car to its left hand, curling the right into a fist which it lifted far above its head.

"Hold still," seethed Roger.

"I do not think we should listen to him," whispered the artificial man.

"I'm with you there," concurred Ruby. The two leapt off in time to dodge the meteoric strike that tore through the other machine like it was made of clay. The duo hit the ground running, but as the remaining machine began to pursue them, they realized that they could not outrun something with a 20 meter stride.

"Now I've got you," called the voice of the juggernaut's pilot. It once again slipped its armor up, exposing the bank of cannons. Roger's gloved finger settled on the trigger. "CANNON! PARTY!"

Two explosive arrows simultaneously found their marks in the machine's eyes. It halted its implacable advance, firing a few shots wildly and missing every one. Katniss lowered her bow, collapsing it and latching it onto the back of her armor.

"That's all I can do, Holly. The rest is up to you."

The elf nodded, twirling the arrow Katniss had given her in her hands before slipping it through a loop in her belt. "Just make sure this doesn't go off in my face, okay?" Katniss gave her an OK sign, and she took off toward the black robot, which was now stumbling aimlessly. The tall, cylindrical legs were covered in ornate ridges, which Holly calculated to be _just_ big enough to support her fairy body. She leapt onto the machine's left foot as it passed and immediately clung to it as tightly as she could. It was no use to try and start climbing while the leg was in motion. As soon as it put its leg down, however, Holly leapt up and snagged the edge of the calf armor, beginning to pull herself up. She caught a glimpse of something red swing past, and turned to see a vintage muscle car hanging at her level. A very concerned-looking human sat in the driver's seat, scrambling for an archaic radio receiver.

"Roger? Roger! One's climbing on your left leg!" he cried. "Shake 'em off!"

"D'Arvit," swore Holly as the surface she was climbing on began to pitch violently. Her hand slipped from a protruding rivet and had to jam itself into a cooling vent in order to prevent a catastrophic fall.

_If it keeps shaking like this, I won't be able to hold on. Then again, if I play my cards right, maybe I won't have to…_

Holly stopped her attempts to advance up the robot's leg. She found another handhold and locked herself in place.

"No, no," gasped Coop into his radio. "They're still on there! Shake harder!"

_Perfect_, thought the elf. _In order for him to shake harder, he'll have to switch from lateral to vertical movement. And if he's shaking his leg down…_

The metal underneath her rocketed downward before slamming into the ground. Holly's fingers began to loosen their grip.

_He'll eventually bring it back up._

The robot yanked its leg up, and Holly chose that instant to release her grip. She was flung upward, up into the robot's heavy skirt armor. She snagged a loose-hanging cable and abruptly stopped her brief, violent flight. Ahead of her was her goal- the machine's hip joint. She rocked herself forwards and back, building up momentum. There was nowhere for her to stand near the joint, so she would have to achieve her goal on the fly, in one go.

_You've got it, Holly. Just go for it._

She released herself from the cable, flying toward the joint. Holly drew the arrow from her belt, jammed it into the crevice of the ball-and-socket assembly, and dropped toward the ground. As the leg of the robot raced by, she made sure to wave to the poor, poor man in his car. Today was just not his day. A mere second before hitting the ground, Katniss tackled her out of the air, and the two rolled and skidded along the street for a few feet before stopping.

"Get it?" grunted the human girl.

"Yeah," gasped Holly, a little surprised that Katniss had managed to catch her as planned. She had been certain that she was going to break a few bones on landing.

"Detonate," commanded Katniss, and the thermite arrow jammed into the robot's joints exploded into superheated flame. Katniss tossed the elf under her arm and rushed away.

"Hey, man! You got 'em!" cheered Coop excitedly. "They're running away."

"Great," said Roger. "But I'm still flying blind and you've lost Megas."

"Well, I can guide you through the radio. Dude, it'll be awesome!"

"Yeah. _Awesome. _Sure. Just guide me back to the guys we were fighting before these annoying little-"

"They just dug underground, man. Behind you."

The Megadeus swung around, but its pilot quickly realized that one of his machine's legs was not working properly. Unable to complete its turn, the machine plummeted forwards onto its face.

"What?! Big O, what's wrong?"

Roger strained at the controls, trying to lift the robot back to its feet, but to no avail. Panicked, injured-sounding cries came over the radio from his ally, but his own disbelief drowned them out.

_How? How could we lose? They were _on foot_!_

A hideously loud grinding noise ripped through the cockpit as the dim red lighting cut out. Gurren Lagann stood victoriously in the hole it had formed through the center of their foe, holding its Giga Drill aloft.

"Good thinking, Kamina," said Simon with a proud smile.

"Every time we attacked it before, it defended with its arms. But when it fell, it couldn't use them. We tunnel up underneath, and BAM! I have to say I took a little inspiration from you, though, Simon. You really have grown up."

"Thanks, bro. But remember, in and out of Gurren Lagann, we're equals. Don't keep on praising me. I wouldn't be where I am now without you."

"Wow. Such fraternity," laughed Holly, approaching the wrecked robot with Katniss. Ruby and Adam ran up to join them.

"Hello, down there!" shouted Simon through Gurren Lagann's loudspeaker. "You're not planning on fighting, are you?"

"Not with you," replied Holly. "Not after all the trouble we went through to save you."

"Save us?" bellowed Kamina. "Like we needed saving!"

"We _did_ need saving," corrected Simon. "Our strategy of picking the strongest possible guys to fight isn't exactly a _safe_ one."

"But it is MANLY!" Kamina added.

Simon nodded. "That it is."

"Manly or not, we've got two clues and no giant robot!" yelled Ruby. "And you guys are the coolest and should totally join us!"

A comet of pink energy exploded into the ground next to Team Mockingjay, causing quite the scare. However, once a familiar black outfit began to crawl out of the dust, everyone calmed down. Ryuko held a crumpled piece of paper above her head.

"_Three…_ clues," she strained, clearly out of breath.

A collective cheer went up from the team.

"How did that go?" asked Katniss.

"Never… again," heaved the girl. Holly raised her arm to pat Ryuko's shoulder.

"Thanks. You know, I'm sorry about earlier. I've made my fair share of bad decisions, and I understand that everybody needs their own working space."

"Yeah," sighed Ryuko. "And I understand that we need to respect each other's choices for the good of the team as a whole."

"So are you two going to get along now?" asked Katniss. Both parties nodded. "Good. Now give each other a hug."

Ryuko picked up Holly and wrapped her in a bear hug, the elf struggling in vain to escape.

"Simon, are you seeing this?" salivated Simon, staring at his viewscreens.

"Bro, I see it all right. What in the world is she wearing?"

"And they're all hugging now! That's one step away from pillowfights in pajamas, man!"

Simon turned on his loudspeaker.

"Uh, yeah. We'll accept your offer and join your team. Clearly you've got a really, _really_ good thing going there."

"Wait, they're joining the team?" asked Ryuko.

"Yeah," said Ruby. "While you were gone we decided that we needed a giant robot. That's why we got into this fight."

"And so we're just bringing on these total strangers?"

"We don't have to be strangers!" yelled Kamina, kicking Gurren Lagann's chest hatch open. "I'm the incredibly manly, astonishingly handsome, and somewhat available Kamina of Team Gurren!"

Ryuko blasted up to eye level with the young man, staring him down.

"Those eyelashes don't look to manly," she noted.

"Well," huffed Kamina, using all of his effort to keep his eyes _up there_. "Your eyebrows don't look too girly," he retorted.

"It runs in the family," Ryuko growled, and smacked him in the face before floating back to the ground. "Fine," she sighed. "They can stay."

"Good," smiled Holly. "Let's resume our course to the Second Street Ballrooms!"

"We'll keep an eye on your six. I mean, we'll watch your behinds. I mean, we're just going to go on ahead," Kamina announced with a blush.


	17. Dance Dance Dance 'Till You're Dead

The pounding bass could be heard even at the distance Twilight Sparkle, Alucard, and Mikasa stood at.

"That's it, all right," confirmed Twilight. "The Second Street Ballrooms. It's got a glass façade, Alucard. Can you make out anything in there?"

Alucard stared down the distant building, putting his vampiric enhanced senses to use.

"Miss Sparkle, there are some people inside."

"What are they doing?" asked Mikasa. "Fighting?"

"No," sighed the vampire. "Dancing."

Twilight furrowed her brow. "There are a few possibilities here. Either the people dancing are just a form of ambience for the location, or they're actually part of the VIW's forces."

"Either way, how would we go about getting inside? We can't just walk in the front door. We'll stick out like sore thumbs," Mikasa pointed out.

"We are going to need some subterfuge no matter how we come at this," said Twilight. "I suggest first and foremost that we adopt disguises."

The unicorn began to cast a spell, focusing brilliant lavender energy into her horn. It glowed brighter and brighter until it exploded in a flash of light, with a rather unique result. Mikasa and Alucard stared in disbelief.

"You're… human," whispered the scout.

"A slightly purple human," Alucard corrected.

"That I am," smiled Twilight. She had transformed into a slender teenaged girl, her hair replicating the patterns on her mane, and her neatly-kept school uniform bearing her Cutie Mark's insignia.

"I suppose I'm next," moaned Alucard. He dissolved into his fine black mist and reconstituted as a young girl in a crisp white suit.

"I-I did not see that coming," stammered Mikasa.

"Mikasa, in order to be able to infiltrate that ballroom, you're going to need to lose your 3D Maneuver Gear. It'll be too obvious that you're armed. If you can stow it outside, I should be able to teleport it back to you when you need it."

"I feel naked without it, though…"

Twilight's human eyes narrowed. "You'll feel _dead_ with it if you walk in there."

"Fine." Mikasa then spent five minutes undoing latches and straps to unhook the unwieldy-looking boxes and cables. Twilight gave her an awkward glance.

"Um… maybe teleporting that in won't be so convenient."

Mikasa knelt down and untied Date's sword from the 3DMG, holding it up.

"How about this?"

"That should be a _little_ easier for you to use."

The scout took off her jacket and undid a button or two of her shirt, picking up the 3DMG and tossing it over her shoulder as the group began to close in on the ballrooms. They swung around back, and after confirming that the back door was unguarded, proceeded to break in. They quietly stepped inside to dim fluorescent lighting, scratched tile floors, and dull, thumping trance music. Mikasa swung her 3DMG behind a trash can and propped her sword up against a wall.

"ARE WE READY?" shouted Twilight over the music. "IT'S JUST BEHIND THOSE DOORS OVER THERE!"

"DID I EVER TELL YOU I HATE TRANCE?" asked Alucard.

Mikasa was confused. "WAIT, THEY CALL THIS TRANCE? HOW COULD ANYONE FALL INTO A TRANCE TO THIS?"

"PSYCHOACTIVE DRUGS," replied Twilight. "LET'S GO!"

She motioned for the other two to follow her, and they slunk down the maintenance hallway until they reached the loudest double doors they could find. In one carefully-calculated motion, Twilight turned the knob and slipped through, with Mikasa and Alucard following. They found themselves in a particularly dark corner of the room, which was regularly illuminated by pulses of brightly-colored light. For the moment, it seemed as though no one had seen them, though the situation had become increasingly suspect.

"They're… all girls," said Mikasa, barely audible over the music. Her observation was correct, all of the people dancing in the room did appear to be teenaged girls.

"WELL, WE'LL FIT IN JUST FINE," shouted Alucard.

"WE SHOULD TRY TO IDENTIFY THE VIW!" Twilight instructed. "IF WE CAN TAKE THEM OUT, WE DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THEIR FORCES!"

"WHAT'S THAT?" asked a girl approaching from the crowd. Alucard began to reach into her jacket to draw a weapon, but Twilight extended a hand, ordering her to stop. The vampire reluctantly did, pretending instead to fiddle with her buttons. The girl donned a semi-formal dress and wore a lace choker with a heart-shaped charm.

"WE WERE JUST SAYING THAT THIS MUSIC IS GREAT!" replied Twilight.

"YEAH," said the girl. "THIS DJ'S MY FAVORITE. GET A LOAD OF THAT SYNTH!"

After a few seconds of buzzsaw leads, the music quieted down as the DJ began to transition into the next song.

"Very nice, very nice," giggled Twilight awkwardly. "But I think we'd like to make a request."

The girl beamed. "Well, go on up! Just don't ask for any grime, I've had enough of that for one day, okay?"

"Got it," said Alucard, giving a double thumbs-up. The trio made a beeline for the crowd of dancing girls and began to slowly work their way through it.

"That was _weird,_" whispered Mikasa.

Alucard nodded. "Something is off about all of these girls. But I can't put my finger on it."

Twilight remained on-task. "Our best bet is the DJ. We'll take them out first. If they're not the VIW, I don't know who is."

The group pushed their way through the front of the crowd and into an open space in front of the stage where the DJ was set up. The speakers blasted bass loud enough to unfurl Mikasa's scarf, which she continually had to adjust. Twilight waved toward the short steps to the left of the stage.

"Come on. Let's finish this."

They stole up the steps and came to an uneasy stop behind the DJ's sound booth. It was another girl, with a head of crazy bleached-blond hair, designer headphones, and an off-the-shoulder top. She turned away from her sound board, slipping the headphones off of one ear.

"You guys making a request?"

"Yes," said Twilight. "We'd like you to die."

Mikasa's recently-inherited katana teleported into the room with a flash of purple light- not too different from the pulsing strobes- and the girl fluidly snatched the sheath, drew the blade, and drove it through the DJ's stomach. Quickly, they slipped her body to the floor to avoid suspicion.

"Now what?" asked Mikasa, removing her sword from the corpse.

"I don't know," said Twilight, uncertain. "I thought the DJ would be them, for sure."

"Maybe it _was_ them," suggested Alucard. "And nothing's happened yet."

"WHAT'S THE HOLDUP?" asked a voice from the crowd. It was the girl from before, working her way toward the sound booth. "WE'VE BEEN ON THIS TRACK FOR, LIKE, THREE MINUTES!"

"Hide the body," whispered Mikasa.

"I'm trying!" grunted Twilight, attempting to slide the DJ's corpse under the stool she had been sitting on.

The girl from the crowd was on the steps now, a second away from seeing them. Twilight stopped bothering with the body and breathed deeply, enveloping all three of them in a teleport spell that sent them back across the room to the door they had entered from.

"That was close," she gasped.

"Tell me about it," said the girl, leaning against the wall. Mikasa drew her sword, and Alucard removed the pistols from her jacket. Twilight surrounded herself in brightly-glowing magic before returning to her unicorn form.

"So it was you all along!" roared Mikasa, pointing the tip of the katana toward the girl.

"Not exactly," she replied. "You stuck out like sore thumbs when you walked in. So I was the one that greeted you, but after that I stayed right here, knowing that you'd come back trying to make an escape."

"Then who was the girl who started heading toward us?" asked Twilight. "She looked and sounded just like you."

"Her? She's nobody special. I just copied her form."

The unicorn tilted her head. "Copied… her form?"

"That's right," she smirked. She reached up and touched the charm on her choker. Her dress dissolved dramatically before another one formed over her body out of thin air, her hair lengthened and shifted from brown to blond, while her skin tone, facial structure, and eye color changed slightly.

"The name's Honey Kisaragi. _I'm_ the VIW."

"Want to explain to us why you went all naked and change-y there for a second?" Alucard snapped from behind her pistols.

"Sure thing. It's not like you guys are going to live long enough to tell the tale," said Honey nonchalantly. "Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic- Arthur C. Clarke."

"So it wasn't magic," mused Twilight.

"Nope. I'm an android equipped with a nanomachine drive that allows me to alter the atomic structure of the air around me."

"On the atomic level…" whispered the unicorn. "You'd be able to create any compound you wanted."

"You're smart for a stuffed animal."

Twilight gritted her teeth. "I'm _not_ a stuffed animal."

"Is that so? I couldn't tell," Honey spat. "Girls, get 'em!"

At once the revelers stopped their dance and began to swarm towards the three fighters. Honey leapt into the air, somersaulting over the horde of girls and landing back on the stage. Twilight, Alucard and Mikasa turned to face the more pressing threat.

"Alucard! Level five release!" commanded Twilight.

"Control art restriction level five released," Alucard announced hungrily. "Maintaining release until all targets are silenced." She lifted her pistols and began to fire into the crowd, each silver slug finding a firm mark in the center of their target's head. Bodies hit the floor, adding thumps to the bass loop that was still running.

Mikasa stood at the ready, waiting patiently as three of the girls surrounded her. As one began to lean forward into an attack, a single crisp _snik_ rang out as the sword cleaved all three's stomachs open. As a pleasant surprise, Mikasa was not suddenly covered in entrails. Unfortunately, as Mikasa noted, this was because the girls' innards seemed to be of a more robotic nature.

"They're not human!" called the scout to her allies.

"You're right!" cried Twilight, blasting the skin off of one with a magical bolt. A smoldering sliver of metal peeked through the burn. "Don't let them hit you! They'll be very-" the unicorn took a heavy boot from the side, smashing into a wall. "-strong," she coughed.

Alucard ducked and juked left, firing at two more of the androids advancing on the fallen Twilight. A punch from behind blasted through her stomach, but did not concern her much. "I'm not too concerned about myself," cackled the vampire, ripping the arm out through her own abdomen, and knocking the assailant aside with its own severed limb. She slipped through the floor and rose back up next to her charge. "But are you all right, Miss Sparkle?"

The unicorn rose to her hooves, shaking her mane out. "They just knocked the wind out of me. I'll be fine," she explained.

"Just be careful. You will need your strength later. Let me handle this."

"All right, Alucard. Level four release."

"Wonderful!" she shouted. "Control art restriction level four released! I'll kill them all!"

Alucard put away her pistols and transmogrified her arms into hellhounds, each one chomping up several girls and sucking them into the black abyss of their maws. Mikasa took advantage of the opening this created and rushed through the crowd, leaping up toward the stage.

_If I can take out Honey, her minions are sure to follow. Once we take care of this mess, we can link back up with the rest of the team. I'm done roughing it._

"I didn't expect you to be the one to make it this far," mused Honey, cracking her knuckles and turning to face Mikasa. "After all, you're just a human. Not like those two."

"I may just be a human, but humans can be capable of great things. That's why I'm fighting. Not to survive! I'm fighting so that humans can live free!"

"That's a very noble sentiment," agreed Honey. "I have to concur. But I also can't let you win just because we agree. So your little fight for humanity's freedom ends _here! _HONEY FLASH!"

She touched her charm again, this time causing even more dramatic changes. Her eyes glowed red, and her hair shortened and turned a similar shade of crimson, gaining enough wave to appear that it was a fire that had settled on her head. Her semi-formal dress was replaced by a much more revealing sleeveless unitard with the center cut out. A thin straight sword materialized out of the air, and the android snatched it with a flourish.

"Sometimes, I'm a dancer, or a musician, or a reporter, or a movie star! But my true identity is Cutey Honey! The Crimson Warrior of Love!" she announced, twirling the tip of her sword. "Now, taste the blade of my Silver Fleurette! En garde!"

Mikasa gripped her sword tighter. She had not yet attempted to best another swordsman with her new weapon, and she did not recognize the technique that the android was using. The straight sword was held mostly parallel with the ground, tilted up slightly. Honey's arm was folded, not extended, so at any moment she could effortlessly jab forward into Mikasa's gut.

"What's the matter?" asked the android. "Never seen a fencer before?"

Mikasa did not answer, instead dropping to a crouch and performing an upward slash. Honey straightened her arm and blocked Mikasa's slash with ease, sliding her sword along the katana until its tip nicked the scout's shoulder. Honey called out "Riposte!" and took a step back, returning to her previous stance.

Mikasa rolled backward, wincing from the incision. It was not a deep cut, but it hurt.

_I thought that a thin sword like that wouldn't be able to stop this one at full speed. But if that doesn't work, how am I supposed to get through? If I make a move, she'll thrust and run me through. If she was fighting more like me- wait, that's it!_

With sword at the ready, Mikasa took another step back, and performed a deliberately slow horizontal slash. Honey had to push her sword forward in order to stop the katana from slicing her hand- and as soon as she did, Mikasa released the full power of her strike, catching the straight sword just above the grip. The red-headed android's once-confident expression faded.

"You're q-quite strong for a human, aren't you?" she stuttered.

Mikasa smiled. "I am. And now I know how to lure you out."

"If you make this a battle of attrition, you'll never win. I'll bleed you dry!"

"We'll see about that," grunted Mikasa, pushing forward enough to draw her blade's tip across Honey's neck. The android flung her free hand forward, pushing Mikasa away, and the two returned to their stances, watching, waiting. One errant twitch, or an out of place breath, and they sprung at each other once again, a hurricane of deflected thrusts and parried slashes. Every once in a while, Honey would take a quick glance at her ever-decreasing number of troops.

"What kind of monsters are you, that you just work through this kind of defense with no problem?" asked Honey, bewildered.

"The kind of monsters that are going to win," retorted Mikasa, springing to her left and pushing her sword forward with a direct thrusting motion.

"You're OPEN!" shouted Honey, countering with a thrust of her own, aiming squarely for the center of Mikasa's stomach. The tip of her Silver Fleurette was about to find its mark when Mikasa scooted even further to the left, Honey's sword tasting nothing but air.

"WHAT?" gasped the android as the katana tore into her chest, sinking in up to the hilt. Something in the sword's path crunched and began to whine.

"You're good at sword fighting," Mikasa explained. "And your style is ideal for a one-on-one battle. But you fought too offensively, focusing on your target more than your target's movements." She pointed a finger at her left boot. "I pushed off with this foot, but my other one was still on the ground. That's how I was able to dodge and complete my attack."

"That's- zzt- an utter- zzt- load," crackled Honey, falling limp. Mikasa lowered the android to the ground, prying her sword out through the circuitry. At once, the few remaining androids dropped to the floor, deactivated. Alucard reluctantly set the few her arms were chewing down and returned her limbs to normal, before changing form entirely into the red-coated man they had been used to.

"You did it, Mikasa," said Twilight proudly.

The girl nodded. "Guess I did." With that, she promptly tumbled off the stage in a bleeding heap. The vampire and the unicorn rushed to their friend's side, checking her injuries.

"All of these little pinpricks," said the unicorn. "I've got a spell that will seal the wounds, but it'll take her some time to get back to fighting strength."

"She probably won't need to fight much more, Miss Sparkle. They're close, I'm certain."

Twilight zapped Mikasa with a bolt of magic, and the vampire gently hefted her onto his shoulders.

"The Second Street Ballrooms VIW has been defeated," declared Deep Thought. "Two remain."

"Let's get out of here," whispered Twilight, motioning with a hoof toward the main entrance. Alucard nodded, and the three were once again on the move.


	18. Dio's Bad Day Gets Worse

"Come on, Lord Dio. We're almost there."

Filia carried her leader's limb body over the sidewalk with the help of Mr. Everdeen. Filia had found it a little difficult to escape after tangling poor Samson up in the floorboards, but they got away in time to hide while the team left, allowing Filia to return to return for her master. She was surprised to find Mr. Everdeen was already there, trying to pry the road roller off of Dio, but with little success. Filia's abilities had made the job much easier.

"It's the foundry, right, Samson?"

"That's what it says here, Filia," growled her hair, holding the clue they stole in the chaotic attack on their appointed targets. The team that Dio had explained that it was their mission to defeat had collected so many clues that it was easy to grab one of the extras while no one was looking. "But do we need to keep carrying this lug here? He's slowin' us down a lot, ya know?"

"I cannot believe you're saying that, Samson. How rude! After all Lord Dio has done for us!"

"Somehow, he made you crazier than before. I dunno if that's something for me ta be real thankful for."

"I'm not _crazy_. I'm a _vampire._ And if that means I'm not a Skullgirl anymore, isn't that a- ureeey!- good thing?"

"Like I was sayin', I just dunno."

Filia pointed ahead, changing the subject. "Look! Isn't that a foundry up there?"

Tall smokestacks and their accompanying haze confirmed it to be so, even when no one responded to her. Dio coughed a few times before working up the strength to speak.

"You two… It is just amazing. You _cared_ enough to save me."

"Even when we have failed, it doesn't make any sense to abandon your leader," said Mr. Everdeen quietly.

"The rest of them, they wouldn't do that, you know. They follow orders, but they're not… loyal."

Filia turned and smiled.

"It's hard to not be loyal to someone who saved your life."

_I'm glad she's speaking for herself_, thought Mr. Everdeen. _At first I thought that tagging along with the guys that get to bend the rules would get me closer to winning. But now they're running suicide missions. I'm not sure about any of this anymore… but I'll be safe as long as I cooperate._

"Not hard at all," Mr. Everdeen repeated.

Filia suddenly stopped walking ahead. "What's this?" she whispered, kneeling down to look at something.

Mr. Everdeen set Dio down gently, raising a finger to indicate he would be right back. Filia was crouched over a small, blue creature, lying in a bruised heap on the street. A long set of skidmarks ran up to where it sat.

"Hello, there," said Filia. "Are you all right?"

The creature slowly opened its eyes, then shut them again in the light.

"Oh, man," it groaned. "I don't think so."

"Filia, take a few steps back," ordered Mr. Everdeen. "Never corner an injured animal."

"Oh. Okay," agreed the girl, stumbling back.

"You know," it whispered, "I'm starting to think that _wasn't_ Shadow the hedgehog."

"It's hallucinating. It might be rabid," warned the hunter. Filia scooted further back.

"Get me out of here," commanded Dio.

"Don't be too afraid, sir," reassured the man. "If it poses a threat, I can kill it very quickly."

"Not _that_," coughed the vampire. "_them_." He raised a weak arm to point behind them. Filia and Mr. Everdeen turned to face the landing Valvrave unit, Poppy, and the succubus.

"Step awae from the brush hog," shouted Morrigan. "If ye please."


	19. Shakedown

Hermione tapped at the edge of her AEGIS' screen.

"I don't have too long before I'm deployed, you know." The turtle looked up from his work to give her a frustrated glare.

"I _know_. I'm nearly done here," said Donatello, fiddling with the wires on the inside of the device. He opened his tool kit, removed the hyper-solder, and connected two circuits before slapping the maintenance panel back on. "There. Done. You see?"

"Thanks," said the girl, taking the extra AEGIS she had requisitioned for Piccolo.

"And don't forget," Donatello reminded her, fishing a small black box out of his shell. "Your new Scouter."

"You really are the best," she said. "Why Engineering wouldn't take you astounds me."

"I'm a tinkerer," explained the turtle. "Not an astrophysicist. They all like inventing their own machines. I like having some groundwork to go off of."

"Not the worst philosophy," said Hermione. "But isn't it hard trying to make things work with everyone's bits and pieces?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes it really is. But other times, the pieces just all come together."

"I understand," replied Hermione, not sure that she really did. She was an analytical sort- Trans-Dimensional Analysts were expected to do some analyzing, after all- she saw things in patterns and numbers, logical progressions of enchantments and the carefully-constructed formulas of charms. She didn't feel like she could always wrap her head around the ideas that sometimes things acted in ways they ought not, or that having a neat, set order didn't always help things. But she had seen people who lived by that code do wonderful things, and she couldn't deny that it was a valid worldview. She waved goodbye to the turtle and proceeded to walk towards the mess hall's exit, until she was interrupted by the sudden appearance of the four Regulations officers she had seen before in the doorway.

"WHERE ARE YOU HEADED, TRANS-DIMENSIONAL ANALYST HERMIONE GRANGER?!" bellowed the huge young man with pierced ears and bleached-blond hair. The girl with the pink hair mouthed along his words with a mocking glare.

"To my trainer, Piccolo," answered Hermione, indignant. "I'm about to be deployed on a mission, and I need to drop off some things with him first."

"Some seriously questionable _things_," intoned the second-tallest boy, who had a long, green bandana tied around his forehead, under a similarly-green mess of hair. "You've got an unlicensed AEGIS, there."

The third boy unzipped his uniform, which he had done up far enough to cover his mouth, and adjusted his spectacles. "The distribution of an AEGIS system without the requisite license is a criminal offense according to the Illuminati Brotherhood Code, Article 12, section A9, subsection α."

"Caught red-handed, huh, Curly?" sneered the pink-haired girl.

"Why are you doing this?" asked Hermione. "I'm just trying to help my friend."

"We're doing our jobs," answered the green-haired boy.

"LADY SATSUKI'S COMMANDS ENSURE THE SAFETY OF ALL!" roared the largest boy. "IF NOT FOR HER IRON FIST, ALL WOULD FALL INTO CHAOS!"

"_Lady_ Satsuki?" Hermione questioned. "Since when does she have a title like that?"

"Since always," said the girl with a poisonous smile. "She's the one in charge here and that's the way it stays. You'd be better off not to question her authority."

"Whose authority?" asked a voice from behind. Everyone was shocked to find that it was the Chief of Regulations herself, waiting along with several others in a line that had begun to form at the blocked door. She kept her sword tucked under her arm, and with one hand kept a saucer level while the other brought a small teacup to her mouth.

"_Your_ authority, Lady Satsuki," said the smallest boy, unzipping his uniform yet again.

Satsuki raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"THAT'S RIGHT," shouted the largest boy.

"So _my_ authority is what is blocking this door, reducing productivity?"

The Regulations officers looked out at the line that had developed and quickly stepped aside, allowing a strand of apparently-irate Reis to pass by. Hermione remained standing, surprised to find the authority the officers spoke of turned against them. Satsuki walked forward, coming to a stop at Hermione' side. She took another sip of her tea and shot the witch a sideways glance.

"Take your items, Trans-Dimensional Analyst Granger. I trust that you are not putting them to ill use. But believe me when I say that the law is not finished with you."

Hermione nodded sheepishly and scurried down the corridor.

"As for you four," said Satsuki, turning to her officers. "Do you know what you did wrong?"

"We obstructed a vital thoroughfare," answered the green-haired boy.

"We impeded productive conduct," offered the boy with the glasses and zipped-up uniform.

"WE FAILED TO UPHOLD THE IRONCLAD TENETS OF THE REGULATIONS DEPARTMENT," screamed the large boy.

"We lacked professionalism," sighed the venomous girl.

"None of those things," replied Chief of Regulations Satsuki Kiryuin. "You failed to notice that she was also smuggling out a treacle tart."


	20. Trans-Dimensional Analysis

"So _you_ call them _gunmen_," said Katniss, working it over in her head. "The other guy called his a _Gundam_. So, what's the big difference, here?"

"Well obviously, this one's not _dumb_!" giggled Ruby. "Get it? Because, Gun_dam_?" Get it?"

The only response this received was a few distressed groans.

"I found your wordplay clever," complimented Adam. "Though I am unsure you have used the word 'dumb' correctly. I do not believe I have heard their machine speak."

"No, silly," chuckled the huntress. "'Dumb' means _stupid._ Everybody knows that."

The group was close to their destination now. They had been on Second Street for about an hour, so it was only a matter of time before they ran into the Ballrooms- and they were certainly ready to obliterate the VIW in record time.

"Well, I don't know anything about other machines," replied Simon. "But Gurren Lagann is one special gunmen. It's fast and strong, and with Spiral Energy it can do pretty much anything."

"It can't carry a gun," noted the girl.

"Real men don't need guns to win battles. They win through fiery spirit and manly determination!" defended Kamina.

"Manly determination can't put a bullet through a tango at eight hundred meters," said Katniss, rolling her eyes and closing her case.

Holly turned back to the fairly-sizeable team following her. "All right, ladies and gentlemen. We're closing in on our target. We can discuss the tactical advantages of firearms and the etymology of dumb once we blast through three of these things. But for now, we're going to focus on maximum damage. With a giant robot, we can rip the roof off of this place an scatter everyone. After that, it's just a matter of making sure nobody's left standing. Are we ready?"

Affirmatives of varying levels of enthusiasm called back in response.

"Okay, then. I think that's the ballrooms up there-" she shouted, pointing out a building in the distance. "-so let's go give them he-"

"The Second Street Ballrooms VIW has been defeated," declared Deep Thought. "Two remain."

"Wait, what?" asked Ryuko. "Somebody beat us there? When we were this close?"

"Yeah," said Holly, her mouth hanging open slightly. "I… I guess they did."

"But how?" protested the girl in the Kamui.

"Well, there's no denying we got a little sidetracked, regardless of whose fault it was," observed Katniss.

"Yeah," mumbled Ryuko. "But I wonder exactly what sort of team had it _together_ enough to pull it off."

"That would be us," said Alucard, appearing suddenly behind Holly, who leapt almost high enough to convince her team members that her mechanical wings were not critically damaged as she had claimed. When several weapons were instantly trained on him, he merely patted the girl slung over his shoulder.

"What are you doing with Mikasa?" growled Katniss, holding an incendiary arrow at the ready. "Using her as a hostage?"

"No," replied Twilight, teleporting alongside her allies. "She is in no condition to walk."

"YOU BROKE HER LEGS?!" cried Ruby with horror.

"No, no, no," laughed Twilight, waving the comment off with her hoof. "She hurt herself defeating the VIW."

"So it really was you guys," acknowledged Holly. Twilight nodded.

"That's right. And if you want to settle things with me, now is the time."

"As a matter of fact, we do," said the elf, popping her knuckles. "Change of plans, ladies and gentlemen," she continued, turning to her team. "We're going to make a unicorn cry."

Twilight turned to her companion. "Alucard, I want you to take Mikasa as far away as you can. Keep her safe. And no matter how good you decide she looks in her uniform, do _not_ turn her."

"Yes, Miss Sparkle," said the revenant, slipping back through the ground.

"That's real honorable," chuckled Ryuko. "Sending away the immortal guy so we can all gang up on you."

"Gang up on me?" smiled Twilight smugly. "Not quite."

A shower of blue sparks tore the air above them in two. A thin, young girl emerged from them and began to float gently to the ground. She wore a blue, loose-fitting, sleeveless martial arts robe with a white sash around her abdomen. A thin, tapered stick had been slipped under the sash, perpendicular to the edge with exact detail. Around her neck, she wore a wide collar-shoulder-pad combination which supported a flowing cape. The exaggerated shoulder pads extended far past her comparatively small shoulders, creating the effect of a much larger presence. A black headband held back a head of wavy brown hair, and a boxy white device sat over her left ear and extended a red eyepiece over her left eye. Over her right arm was a silvery band with a sunken-in portion that could have been a screen. Simple cloth shoes lighted on the ground without a flourish.

The sparks and the armband were immediately familiar to Katniss.

_Just like that Artemis guy._

"Hello, there, Twilight," she smiled. "It's been a while."

"Yes, it has, Hermione," replied the unicorn, sounding surprised. "You're... looking… different."

"_Later_," hissed Hermione. "I'll talk about it _later._"

"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" snarled Ryuko, pointing her Scissor Blade straight at the newcomer's face.

"My name is Hermione Granger. That is all I can tell you for now."

"Just the same as Twilight- 'That's all I can tell you'," grumbled Holly. "Well, we're going to get answers out of you, too."

Hermione ignored her comment and turned to Twilight. "Shall I?"

"Be my guest."

The girl nodded and floated skyward again, surrounded by a barely-visible shimmering, like a mirage, which caused her cape to dance as if it had caught a breeze.

"Initiating analysis procedures," she declared, touching a button on her bulky earpiece. "Scanning. Seven targets identified. Commencing individual analysis."

"What is she doing?" asked Ruby, staring up.

"I don't know," replied Holly. "But it can't be good."

"Subject one," continued Hermione. "Holly Short. Elf, subtype gamma. Magical reserve system with limited applications. Excellent small-arms marksmanship. Superior piloting abilities. Advanced martial arts training. Below-average damage tolerance. Regeneration. Power level fluctuating below three thousand. Threat level above average."

"Above Average?" snorted Holly. "Huh. Makes sense. She definitely got the piloting bit right."

"Subject two. Katniss Everdeen. Human. Superior marksmanship with most weapon systems. Excellent close-quarters combat abilities. Ansatsuken martial arts training. Advanced survival training. Currently equipped with advanced combat armor. Heightened adrenal gland function. Combat adaptability- requires further study. Power level fluctuating between eight hundred and one thousand. Threat level undetermined. More data required. Estimates low."

"You sure are weird, Katniss," said Ruby.

Katniss nodded. "Apparently."

"Subject three. Adam Frankenstein."

Adam shuddered a little bit at his full name.

"Composite artificial human, biological. Large physical mass. Above average physical strength. Superior durability. Mild regeneration. Superior mental faculties and concept-practice learning speed. Power level stable, nine hundred thirty-four. Threat level average."

"Me next! Me next!" shouted Ruby, hopping up and down. Hermione looked down with a stern glare until she stopped jumping, then continued.

"Subject four. Ruby Rose. Human. Possesses natural passive magic ability for temporary enhancement of speed. Trained in advanced unorthodox combat techniques. Superior knowledge of unorthodox weapon types. Power level stable, nine hundred seventy. Threat level above average."

"Now there's some words I never thought I'd hear. 'Ruby' and 'Superior knowledge'." Ryuko snipped.

"Yeah, me neither," said Ruby.

"Subject five. Ryuko Matoi. Life-Fiber enhanced human. Superior physical strength and speed. Superior damage tolerance. Symbiotic relationship with Life Fiber organism Kamui Senketsu. Activation of Kamui Senketsu further enhances speed and strength, enables flight. Variable nature of Life Fibers allows for multiple configurations of garment and wearer. Superior close-combat abilities. Power level fluctuating in excess of… oh… that's a ten- twenty, no it's a fifty, now- no, it's…"

"Watch this," whispered Ryuko to her teammates. She flexed her muscles and grunted angrily.

"Now it's climbing faster- it's at three, no, four-" gasped Hermione. "Power level unreadable. Threat level extreme."

"Ha-ha!" said the girl, throwing a victorious fist into the air. "How about _them_ apples?"

"She's not done yet," warned Twilight.

"Subjects six and seven. Simon the Digger and Kamina of Jeeha Village. Human. Skilled Gunmen pilots. Superior Spiral Energy conduits. Conducted Spiral Energy can enhance the performance of any piloted Gunmen. Subject six power level fluctuating between ten and twelve thousand. Subject seven power level fluctuating between eight and nine thousand. Threat level while piloting the Gunmen Gurren Lagann extreme."

"How does she know all of this about us? We only just met these chicks," asked Kamina.

"I don't know," whispered Simon. "But it's got me worried."

"Hah!" shouted Ryuko back up to them. "I still win!"

"Analysis complete," Hermione announced. "I'll take the three highest."

"Wait, _what_?" queried Holly.

"We're splitting this up," said Twilight. "Hermione's going to go fight some of you and I'll fight the rest."

"That's right," confirmed Hermione, dialing coordinates into her AEGIS. She disappeared the way she had come, but this time, Ryuko and the Gurren Lagann disappeared as well.

"That's not fair at all," growled Holly. "They were my strongest fighters. They were going to make kicking the answers out of you really easy."

"Your remaining warriors should be sufficient."

Holly scratched her head. "You say that like you think you're going to lose."

Twilight simply smiled, waving the remaining four on.

Katniss turned to Holly, shrugged, and knocked the incendiary arrow she had been planning to use for Alucard.

"Your little game ends here," warned the elf, changing the setting on her Neutrino.

"Yes," whispered Twilight. "It does."


	21. Ascending Beyond Super

Ryuko tumbled out of the air, falling directly onto her face.

"The _hell_ was that?" she groaned, picking herself up. She was on her feet in time to jump out of the way of Gurren Lagann, which fell in roughly the same manner and location. They were clearly in the same city arena, though far away from where they were before. They had landed in a wide, green park, a five or six blocks across in either direction, and surrounded by skyscrapers- a "natural" enclosure.

"_That_ was my AEGIS device," answered Hermione, hovering above, surrounded by her mirage. "I'll cut you a deal. Beat me, and I'll tell you how it works."

"Why do I think it won't be that simple?" grumbled Ryuko.

"Because you are quite perceptive."

"Don't get all high-and-mighty with us, half-pint," snarled Simon, bringing Gurren Lagann to its feet. "We were along to win clues and stuff. Nobody said anything about smashing toddlers."

"For your information, _this_ body is approximately twelve years old. I was previously a grown woman."

"Well, ain't you special?" Ryuko roared, sliding the bolt across her glove, drawing enough blood to activate Senketsu. She fired the boosters that formed from the Kamui's collar and rose to Hermione's height, swinging her Scissor Blade as she flew. Hermione disapparated as the blade passed through, reappearing behind the stunned Ryuko.

"Yes, I am," replied the witch, who kicked the girl in the square of the back hard enough to knock her into a tailspin. Ryuko managed to right herself before hitting the ground, returning to strike again. Hermione flicked out her wand from under her sash and drew a little spiral in the air, which glowed briefly, and suddenly Ryuko was sent flying in the opposite direction, the air forced from her lungs.

"_Flippendo_," announced Hermione.

"Why you little-" fumed Ryuko, firing up her booster again.

"Excuse us, ladies," called the voice of Kamina from the central cockpit of Gurren Lagann. "But if you're fighting each other, what are we supposed to do?"

"Oh," said Hermione. "I almost forgot."

* * *

"So- and just be honest with me here- is it true?" Rainbow Dash floated eagerly next to Char's workstation, where he paged through inventory checklists.

"Is what true?" he responded, not paying attention to the Pegasus.

"The _rumor_," snapped RD, annoyed. "That all of your protégés die horrible deaths?"

Char pushed himself back in his seat, folding his hands in his lap.

"You know, people say a lot of things that just aren't true."

"But… is _that_ true?"

Char looked up at something invisible floating just above his eyebrows, silent for a bit.

"They used to say that the moon was made of cheese," he continued. "Of course, when the Feddies started mining lunar titanium, we joked and said they were mining for cheese."

"That doesn't answer the question," said Rainbow Dash, her concern for her life growing.

"Do you like cheese?" asked Char. "How about your parents? I'd like to be able to send them something when-" an alarm klaxon sounded, echoing off the rows and rows of giant robots. "Oh, that's the signal. Someone's calling up for Mobile Support."

RD sighed and tapped the command on a nearby console. The storage rack containing her squadmates' machines rotated down into place, and the circular AEGIS gate unfolded from the end. Ten pilot-suited Reis scrambled down the walkway, climbing the steps to each of their machines. Dash tapped another button, and her personal mech descended into the same row.

"That's quite the machine you've got there," said Char. "And it's even got red bits. It'll be a real shame when it-"

Rainbow Dash glared back at him.

"needs to be… recalibrated," he continued.

The Pegasus flew into her Mobile Suit's cockpit, locking her helmet into place and closing the hatch. One by one, the other machines on the rack disengaged, powered up their thrusters, and began to float through the AEGIS gate.

* * *

Ryuko was getting tired of being knocked back every time she attempted to attack. She was planning a way around this when the first of the machines began to fall from the sky. It was a huge, mostly-gray, boxy-looking chap loaded down in thrusters and plate armor. It carried a bulky shield in one hand and a bulky rifle in the other. As soon as it touched down, another appeared in the sky with another cascade of sparks, and then another. Soon, ten identical machines had formed a line surrounding Gurren Lagann. A final mech descended from its own glittering blue doorway, different from the rest. It was still bulky and blocky, but significantly slimmer, with a brighter color scheme of white, red, and several blue accents. A narrow V-shaped crest adorned its head, and across its back was slung the sheath for an appropriately-up scaled katana.

"Rainbow Dash, are your troops ready?" asked Hermione.

"As ready as we'll ever be," replied the Pegasus over her machine's loudspeaker. "I've been waiting to test out my Astray Red Frame since I customized it. This should be a good trial run!"

"Then I will leave the rest to you," said the witch, turning back to Ryuko- only to find that she had disappeared. Something struck her hard in the gut, and she flew backward, her body putting a crater in the wall of an office building. Ryuko floated up to observe the damage of her attack.

"So that thing you do where you disappear and reappear? I can do that, too," she gloated.

"Apparition? Nonsense," grunted Hermione, picking herself out of the concrete. "No, I know you can't use magic."

"I don't need magic when I'm this fast."

Hermione grabbed a handful of her cape and tossed it across herself.

"You may be fast, but you can't hit what you can't see!"

Suddenly, the witch vanished, and Ryuko was sent spiraling upward by a hard strike to the chin. She heard something fly up faster than her, and clearly felt the impact of a foot on her back before being flung three hundred feet to the ground. Ryuko peeled herself off the pavement in time to take another kick to the gut, which sent her rolling down the street.

_Be careful, Ryuko_, warned Senketsu. _Getting overwhelmed like this is dangerous._

"I _know_," she groaned.

"This, Miss Matoi, is a mass-production invisibility cloak, one of the finest pieces of optical camouflage ever designed," explained the voice of Hermione from somewhere nearby.

_Wait a second_, thought Ryuko. _I've fought optical camouflage before. It wasn't too hard._

_You're right, Ryuko_, said Senketsu. _Let's try the same technique we used then._

Ryuko hopped to her feet and spun in the direction of Hermione's voice. Senketsu then inflated his eye-crest to a truly gargantuan size, becoming a floppy canvas in the progress. The huge sheet fell forward, settling over the street ahead of them.

"Gotcha!" shouted Ryuko triumphantly.

"No, you don't," replied Hermione, sweeping Ryuko's legs out from under her. With a swish of her wand, she transfigured some loose pebbles on the street into vines to restrain the girl. "Did you forget what I just told you about Apparition? You can't trap me like that."

Ryuko lay quietly on the ground, thinking over her situation.

_She's right. If she can just teleport away like that, it's useless to try a slow-moving attack._

_Ryuko, let's evaluate our other options. She said it was an invisibility cloak, right? So it's clothing…_

_I like the way you think, Senketsu._

"No," said Ryuko aloud. "I can't trap you. But I can strip you naked!"

Ryuko ripped out from under the vines and swung her Scissor Blade upward in a single explosive movement, and Hermione suddenly appeared in the place from which her voice had come. Her expression turned from shock to fear as she realized that her invisibility cloak had stopped working.

"How-?!"

"SEN-I-SOSHITSU!" roared Ryuko as the girl's cape burst into loose strands of thread, falling away slowly in the breeze generated by the attack.

"No way," growled a defiant Hermione. "You just sliced the binding stiches out. That's not a real Sen-i-soshitsu technique. A real one only works when the target has Life Fibers!"

"It's as real as it gets!" yelled Ryuko, pointing at Hermione. A small, glowing pink strand floated up from the tatters of the witch's cape and disappeared into Senketsu, resulting in a faint pulse of light.

_Since when is Outfitting weaving invisibility cloaks with Life Fibers? _Wondered Hermione. _That's bloody dangerous business. What is Artemis up to?_

"Well, I stand corrected, if only by coincidence," huffed the witch. "But I'm nowhere near beaten. I haven't even scratched the surface of my physical power, and I've barely had to use my spells at all!"

"You might just have to," grinned Ryuko with gritted teeth. She launched back toward Hermione as the two clashed yet again.

* * *

_I'm not sure that I've ever seen Twilight do much fighting before,_ thought Holly. _In the previous rounds, she always kept out of battle as much as she could. She fought that alien thing, right? I wonder how that went._

"What do we do?" asked Katniss. "Now that we're here, it just seems kind of odd."

"I would like to tell you that you have as long as you like to fight me, but that's not the case. You should probably hurry," said the unicorn.

"Secrets upon secrets," frowned Holly.

"Well, I'll take the first shot," announced Ruby with unusual seriousness. She lowered Crescent Rose's barrel and fired on their former friend, sliding backward from the recoil. Twilight stood still, and the bullet halted in her magical grasp. She set it down, and rolled it back towards Ruby with a tap from her hoof.

"Try harder."

Holly spun her Neutrino on her right index finger. "This is an energy weapon," she said. "It doesn't have bullets for you to stop."

"Does it not, now?"

Holly frowned and squeezed off two shots, which fizzled out against a magical barrier raised by the unicorn.

"Allow me," said Adam, stepping forward. Taking one hand in the other, he brought a double axe-handle down on top of Twilight's barrier, which began to glow a little less intensely.

"That did something!" shouted the elf. "Do it again!"

Adam raised his arms again, crashing them through the barrier and into the street. Twilight reappeared above the artificial man, and drove her hind legs into the back of his head. He plunged downward, reeling after the sudden and unexpected attack. The unicorn somersaulted forward, landing behind him.

"All of you," she demanded. "At once!"

* * *

Kamina wrestled the controls back in time to dodge another energy beam. The machines that were facing them now were quite different from the ones they had fought before- they operated with a more efficient mindset.

"They're pretty dangerous," he called up to Simon.

"Yeah. Not like any gunmen I've ever seen before," replied the pilot who sat in Gurren Lagann's head. The red robot pirouetted to dodge yet another shot from one of the grey machines before spinning into an attack with their wrist-mounted drills. One of their old foes would have simply been impaled, but these uniform, visor-wearing machines expressed a significant desire to live longer. The unit they had planned on destroying with their attack raised a solid shield, deflecting the attack's kinetic energy before swinging forward with a beam saber, hacking the Gurren Lagann's drills in half.

"And _these_ are the _goons_," whispered Simon.

"I wouldn't call 'em goons," reported the pilot of the machine that was no goon. The sleeker, red-blue-and-white mech delivered a flying kick that sent Gurren Lagann tumbling forward. A comms window opened in Simon's displays, and a small equine face smiled back at him. "They're as good of pilots as anybody. They're a little offended by that. Call 'em by name. Rei Ayanami."

"Rei Ayanami?" repeated Simon. One of the grey machines walked up to the fallen Gurren Lagann.

"Yes," said a nearly- robotic voice from its loudspeakers. "I am Rei Ayanami."

"As am I," said another.

"As am I," repeated a third. This continued until all of the pilots had announced that they were in fact Rei Ayanami.

"And what about you?" asked Kamina to the horse peeking through the display. "Who are you? Some kind of little pony?"

"My name's Rainbow Dash," she replied, as her machine unsheathed the oversized katana from its back. "And this is my custom Gundam."

"Oh, a Gundam," echoed Simon. "That's what they mentioned before."

The Gundam lowered the sword's tip toward the gunmen. "Now prove to me these upgrades were worth it!"

Kamina and Simon twisted their controls simultaneously, causing Gurren Lagann to leap off the ground and extend a single long drill to lock swords with Rainbow Dash's mobile suit.

"We'll do more than that," yelled Simon.

"Yeah," affirmed Kamina. "We're not just some training dummy for you! Just who the hell do you think we are?!"

* * *

Hermione tumbled backwards through the air, but stabilizing herself was a simple matter of calming down and focusing her ki. It was second nature to her now, and so she recovered from Ryuko's attack with enough time to check on her reinforcements. Rainbow Dash had decided to engage the pilots of Gurren Lagann one-on-one, which meant that she must feel pretty confident against them.

_As for me, Ryuko is proving… interesting._

Hermione heard the telltale sound of Ryuko's boosters approaching, and flicked her wrist to carve the sigil for _Incendio_ in the air. The end of her wand became engulfed in an ever-expanding ball of flame, which had inflated to past the size of a yoga ball by the time her opponent had arrived. Ryuko came to a halt in front of the witch, raised her Scissor Blade above her head, and was instantly engulfed in the inferno. Hermione wound up and punched through the blaze, sending the girl flying back again.

"You are very persistent," she remarked to her foe.

Ryuko used her free hand to extinguish the flames as she halted in the air. "I wouldn't be as strong as I am if I wasn't a _little_ persistent."

"I thought you would say something like that," smiled the witch. She pointed her wand at the ground, levitating thousands of loose pieces of pavement from their battle to her altitude. The rubble began to swirl around her, forming a curtain of dangerous debris. By stretching her wand forward, the bits of pavement turned into a stream that launched itself at Ryuko with a great deal of speed. The girl brandished her Scissor Blade in time to perform a hurricane of rapid slices that turned the chunks of street into harmless gravel.

"Looks like we're about even," grunted Ryuko.

Hermione saw an opportunity. "Then I'll have to up the ante."

The witch slipped her wand back under her sash and began to focus, taking careful, slow breaths. Ryuko noticed that the mirage surrounding the girl began to fluctuate more intensely, its shimmering growing ever faster. A faint humming could be heard, and what looked like arcs of electricity began to crackle around her.

"What are you doing?" asked Ryuko, knowing that anything suddenly developing free-flowing electricity was a bad sign.

"I'm focusing my Time Vortex energy into a stable environment to enhance my ki channeling," explained Hermione.

_I can sense something, Ryuko_, whispered Senketsu. _She's getting stronger. Watch out._

The mirage began to become more visible, taking on a distinctly yellow hue. The hum transformed into the sound of rushing wind, which may have been physically present- the girl's hair began to dance upward as if lifted by a strong breeze.

"When I was infused with Time Vortex energy," explained the witch, "I gained the ability to channel my ki thanks to the latent pathways created by the interactions between time and one's life-force. Eventually, I devised a plan to force more of my Time Vortex energy to the surface, creating more and more pathways, further enhancing my abilities. The result…" she said, now with great effort, "WAS THIS!"

Hermione exploded with golden light, forcing Ryuko to shield her eyes. The light shot upwards as well as outwards, creating a pillar of energy visible from across the arena. Enough air was displaced to uproot several trees in the park below, and pebbles on the ground began to levitate on their own accord. The hum returned, now a shrill pulse alongside the sound of hurricane-force wind. As the light died down, Ryuko found a slightly different opponent then what she had been facing before.

The witch was now surrounded in a fluctuating golden field of energy, which seemed to be actively tossing her hair and clothes, adding further credence to the theory that the sound of the wind may have been actual wind after all. Her hair seemed a bit longer, but was most notable for having changed shades entirely from brown to blonde. Her eyes were bright beacons of even more gold energy. Her body seemed to have undergone a few changes as well- she was noticeably taller, and no longer looked like a twelve-year-old, having the proportions of a fairly-old teenager.

"For a lack of a better term," she continued, her voice no longer so squeaky, "You may call this a _super_ form."

"We've got one of those, too," replied Ryuko, defiant. "SENKETSU! KISARAGI!"

An awkward pause followed.

"I said, SENKETSU! KISARAGI!"

_Ryuko, I cannot achieve that form without absorbing a large amount of Life Fibers. I am sorry._

"Dammit. I really didn't want to be one-upped."

"Now, Miss Matoi," declared Hermione, "PREPARE YOURSELF!"

She extended an index finger and drew the _Incendio_ sigil in the air again, the magic needing no wand to be directed. The ball of flames that appeared at the end of her finger grew larger than most cars before she fired it, but Ryuko was prepared, as Hermione had instructed. With a slash from her Scissor Blade fast enough to be imperceptible, she created a thin stream of air that sliced apart the fireball with ease, leaving her and her outfit burn-free.

"Lemme test just how _super_ that is," she grunted, rushing ahead toward her target. The two began to exchange a flurry of punches, kicks, and slashes that hopped around the sky like an agitated bluebottle.

* * *

"What the hell are they up to?" wondered Simon, taking a brief glance up from his target to observe the duel taking place above.

"They're coming back," reported Kamina on the Gatsby they were fighting. Simon looked back down and carefully noted the speed at which the machine approached with its shield raised. Once they got close enough, Gurren Lagann delivered a kick that sent the grey robot stumbling back. They followed up by detaching the dramatic sunglasses from the face on their machine's chest and flung them like a boomerang, knocking a few more of the mass-produced Mobile Suits back before they turned with an extended drill to block another swipe from Rainbow Dash's Astray Red Frame Custom.

"They're all so good at defending," Simon remarked, extending one of Gurren Lagann's arms to catch the returning sunglasses. "Even if they can't keep us down, we can't scratch them."

"If only there was some way we could get a little more powerful…" said Kamina.

"There's nothing to combine with," sighed Simon. "We're just gonna have to tough it out." He shifted a control stick forward to parry a forward slash before using a shoulder barge to send another Gatsby tumbling back. "Let's make some room!"

"Right!" Kamina agreed. "GIGA! DRILL!"

"**MAXIMUM**!"

Gurren Lagann glowed with vibrant green Spiral Energy before unleashing a drill from every nook and cranny on its armor. Shockingly, the surrounding Mobile Suits managed to twist around the death spires and deflect any direct hits with their shields, but they were still repelled at least one hundred meters in each direction.

"Let's keep the pressure on the commander," Simon commanded. "If we can knock them out, the grunts will have to change their tactics."

Kamina nodded. "Good thinking, bro! It's good to have your level head around!"

* * *

Twilight ducked under another swipe from Adam and leapt over a slice from Ruby. She sidestepped an explosive arrow and teleported out of its blast radius, only to dodge a handful of Neutrino blasts.

"Better," she gasped, clearly growing tired.

"Twilight, if you keep this up we'll end up killing you," said Holly, firing another few shots past the unicorn.

"Maybe she'll tell us _after_ she dies," suggested Katniss, stringing an anti-armor arrow.

"I have no plans of dying today," corrected the unicorn. "Now, keep shooting at me!"

* * *

After another few seconds of furious punches and kicks, Ryuko managed to land an attack, powering a fist up through Hermione's chin. The uppercut caused the witch to soar upward, and as she fell, Ryuko followed up with a roundhouse to propel her target into the street below.

"Even though you're all super and stuff, I'm _still_ stronger. How many more times am I gonna have to knock you down before you take us back to our friends?" Ryuko used the lapse in the fight to wipe a trail of blood off of her cheek.

"That's not- ack- how this works," coughed Hermione, picking herself up. "I'm going to keep fighting you until _I_ say we're done. And we're not done yet."

"I think we are," spat Ryuko, wagging a finger. "If your super form can't keep up, why are you the one calling the shots?"

"Because this isn't my final form," replied the witch. She once again slowed her breathing, as more and more rubble, twigs, leaves and lose dirt began to levitate around her. Her aura began to shine more brightly, as if the air around it had become darker. The pulsing shriek grew even louder, and the windows of the skyscrapers nearby began to bow outward as the air pressure shifted, Hermione's transformation drawing in nearly everything nearby. An even more dramatic explosion than before ripped through the park, knocking all of the mobile suits brawling a few blocks away off of their feet. Ryuko flew to the ground, tapping her foot impatiently.

_All show and no go. You'd think she would come up with a way to make it take less time, too._

The dust settled, the changes not as drastic as they had been last time. Hermione's hair still was blonde instead of brown, and it had certainly grown longer again. Her aura shimmered with intense heat, and moved more like a blowtorch's flame than a mirage. She had aged once again, now resembling a woman in her late twenties, except with far more well-defined muscle than any ordinary twenty-something.

"I have now ascended beyond _super_," stated Hermione with a subtle echo in her voice. "The energy of time's passage from the beginning of eternity is powering me. I have unlocked more power than any sorcerer ever possessed."

_Unbelievable_, she thought while making her speech. _This kind of power could destroy worlds. I need to focus- all I need to do is keep them busy, not kill them. I'll hold back as much as I can._

"Yadda yadda yadda," mocked Ryuko. "Make a big deal about it and it's sure to be a letdown."

Hermione frowned and held up an open hand. A barrage of fireballs exploded forth from her palm, bearing down on the girl and her Kamui with supersonic speed. Ryuko managed to slice through the first few, but could not keep up. Overwhelmed, she collapsed backward in pain. Hermione disapparated from where she stood, reappeared next to the stunned Ryuko, and kicked her skyward. Hermione appeared at the top of Ryuko's body's arc, snagged her by Senketsu's straps, and threw her back to earth, where she plunged directly through the side of Gurren Lagann. The impact sent the Gunmen flying into the low buildings along the edges of the enclosure, were it promptly buried itself head-first in a furniture store.

"STAND BACK!" ordered Hermione to her reinforcements, aiming her extended arms toward the crash site. An orb of whitish-blue energy began to form in her cupped palms, rapidly growing in size.

"_EXPECTO_!"

_This attack should knock them out, which will make my job that much easier. A supercharged version of the ultimate defensive charm._

_ "__PATRONUM!"_

A ghostly blue otter appeared on her shoulder, and, upon finding it very odd indeed to be so high in the air, hopped into the orb, which caused it to triple its circumference.

_ "__**CANNON!"**_

The ki-charged spell ripped open into a spectacularly wide beam, which upon hitting the ground created an explosion titanic enough to be seen on the other side of the arena. The blast scalded the paint off of the Gatsby squadron and tossed them away with ease, forcing the pilots to correct their flight attitude while blind from the light given off. This resulted in most of them crashing in quite spectacular manners, though thanks to their durable construction, all remained functional. The park at the center of the area was instantly burned to a crisp, the shockwave removing the ashes and leaving nothing behind but burnt soil. The windows of every building in a five-mile radius shattered, but within a 2-mile radius never hit the ground before they were vaporized.

Hermione blinked until she could see again, disappointed with the results.

"Oh," she whispered. "It wasn't supposed to do that."

* * *

"What was _that_?" asked Ruby, looking at the dome of light that had just erupted in the distance.

"Doesn't matter," grunted Holly. "It's now or never!"

The fighters' plan had finally come together. Slowly, throughout the fight, they had changed their locations in order to completely surround Twilight Sparkle. They had staggered their attacks in order to provide the illusion of a chaotic skirmish, but now Holly's plan was coming together. Or so she wanted to believe. With a raised hand-into-closed fist command, the warriors with ranged weapons fired simultaneously.

Twilight analyzed her situation. It was simple- just teleport away. She could merely place herself on a vector that one of the projectiles would not hit. She charged her magic and did just that, only to find that she within range of one of Katniss' explosive arrows, lodged in the ground. She quickly teleported again, only to find herself in range of another. Another teleport resulted in another arrow.

_When did all of these get here?_ She wondered.

A final teleport finally put her outside of the reach of arrow-borne high explosives- and in the reach of one of Adam's huge hands. The artificial man tossed her back to the ground, directly in the center of a ring of explosive arrows.

"Clever," she remarked.

"Detonate," replied Katniss.

The high explosive arrows did not create much shrapnel, but they did knock back the fighters a few feet and created a smoky scorch on the pavement.

"Guess she'll have to tell us later," sighed Holly.

"Unless she's still alive in there," Katniss countered.

"I am," replied Twilight's voice from inside the smoke.

"Do we shoot her again?" asked Ruby.

"No," said Twilight, stepping out of the smoke and unfurling a pair of small, feathery wings. "I am about to explain everything. And I mean _everything._"

Holly reluctantly holstered her Neutrino. "Those are new," she noted.

"Actually, they're old," corrected the alicorn. "But thanks to the stress of fighting you, I was able to access the Residual Magical Genesis field in order to get them back, if only for a little while. Now, where are your other friends? Hermione should have been done with them by now."


	22. Kiru ra Kiru

_Ryuko. Wake up. We're in trouble._

The girl opened her eyes, finding herself in a dark, cramped, and very warm place. In fact, it wasn't just warm, it was _searing_ hot. Ryuko could see no fire through the darkness, but she could smell smoke.

"W-where am I?"

"I think… you're sitting on my face," said a muffled Kamina. Ryuko leapt back, ran into the other side of the cockpit, and kicked the offending party away.

"You little _pervert!_" she screamed.

"It's not my fault," Kamina whimpered in reply. "That's the way you ended up after crashing in here."

Ryuko slumped against the cockpit's wall. "Yeah, right. Now where are we?"

"We're stuck, that's where. We fell into a building, and something hit us," coughed Simon from above. "Everything's on fire, and I can't get Gurren Lagann to move. We're out of Spiral Energy."

"We're toast, bro," moaned Kamina.

"I hate to say it, but it does look that way. We can't break through the defenses of those weird gunmen. How about you, Ryuko?"

"I kept kicking the crap out of that Hermione chick… and then she kept getting more powerful. I guess I wasn't having much luck either."

Kamina pulled at his hair in frustration. "In other words, we're royally screwed."

"Damn," coughed Ryuko.

_Wait, Ryuko, _ said Senketsu. _There may be a way out of this._

_I'm willing to try anything._

_You're going to have to take me off._

_No way. We're meant for each other. I can't win without you._

_You will win, and you will win with me. Trust me, Ryuko._

_Okay, okay. I trust you._

_Good. Listen closely._

Ryuko bolted upright against the wall, her outfit returning to its unassuming seifuku form. She quickly began to undo the skirt's suspenders.

"Good idea," said Kamina, carefully observing her. "If we're going to die, we might as well-"

Ryuko placed a shoe on Kamina's neck as she slipped her top off.

"Never gonna happen, pervert," she growled, setting Senketsu down. She kicked the hatch release open, revealing the inferno raging outside. "Now go upstairs. I'm taking over your robot."

She snagged the boy by the neck and tossed him upwards out of the cockpit, with Simon opening Lagann's hatch in time to save him. The robotic cranium sealed around the two pilots, leaving them in darkness again.

"Kamina? What's going on?" asked Simon.

"I don't know, bro. But you had better open up my channel on the display."

Simon did so, though it took considerable effort thanks to the damage done to Gurren Lagann's systems. When the feed did open, it gave them an intimate view of Ryuko's screaming face.

"Listen UP, you peeping Toms!" she roared. "Senketsu's got a plan, and if we listen to him it just might work!"

"Okay, what's the plan?" asked Simon nervously.

"It's real easy, so it gets through your thick skulls! We're gonna combine!"

"We're gonna… combine?" repeated Kamina.

"We're gonna combine!" exclaimed Simon.

Instantly the Spiral Energy readout shot up to operational levels, and Gurren Lagann began to shift in place. It placed a still-functional hand on the ground to steady itself.

Senketsu pressed a single one of his strings into Ryuko's hand with his sleeve.

_I am pretty sure I can do this._

_If we mess up, we'll know we gave it everything we got, right?_

_That's right, Ryuko. _

The uniform hopped out of the hatch, using its sleeves to climb up until he sat on the machine's right shoulder.

_I'm ready, Ryuko. Let's go._

"Got it," said the girl, pressing forward on the controls. Slowly, the damaged Gurren Lagann heaved itself to its feet, crashing up through the roof of the burning furniture store. It began to walk forward into what had now become a burned-out wasteland. The scattered Mobile Suits began to take aim at their target. Hermione floated down a little lower, clearly unhappy with what was happening.

"You… you… survived?"

"That's right," said Kamina. "The spirit of Gurren Lagann is not something that someone can crush with a big attack! It lives on in the hearts and souls of everyone who has faith in the ability to keep on fighting!"

"Because no matter how many times you knock us down, we keep getting up, keep pushing forward, like a drill!" yelled Simon.

"That ability to keep fighting… to keep pushing forward! That's the thread that's woven into us all! The only thing you need to wake it up is to believe in yourself and your friends!" shouted Ryuko. "I know I'm not always a perfect example, but I know that when push comes to shove, I need my friends as much as anyone else! And now, you're gonna see how strong those bonds have become!"

"You're bloody joking," gasped Hermione.

She swiped her hand across the partially-shattered viewscreen in front of her, and clamped her bleeding palm over the string Senketsu had left behind.

"LIFE FIBER SYNCHRONIZE, KAMUI SENKETSU!"

The Kamui sitting atop Gurren Lagann's shoulder unraveled himself into loose strands, draping himself over the gunmen. As Ryuko's blood ran up along the string, the Life Fibers became active, clamping down over the armor. Inside the cockpits, the pilots could hear the metal groan and pop under the pressure.

"Is it… is it going to work?" asked Simon.

"I know it will," breathed Ryuko. "Senketsu says it will. And I believe in him."

At that moment, the strands of fabric tangled over Gurren Lagann's legs, simultaneously binding them together and crushing them into uselessness. The gunmen tripped forward, falling on its faces once more.

"You _were_ bloody joking!" exhaled Hermione, running a hand through her glowing hair. "That's good, because I thought for a second that you were-"

Pink and green energies began to pulsate across Gurren Lagann's body, until it was a mass of solid alternating color.

"Oh, fiddlesticks," said the witch.

Gurren Lagann rose from the ground, levitating slightly and making sounds roughly equivalent to elastic stretching and leather snapping as its shape began to change. A burst of pink sparkles radiated away as the combination completed, and the gunmen drifted back to the ground.

The machine's once-stout frame had been squeezed into the shape that the Kamui had been intended to fit- namely, Ryuko. Gurren Lagann still possessed its defining traits- the human-looking face of Lagann functioning as the head, the snarling, feral face of Gurren as the chest. However, they had now been crammed down into a distinctly feminine form. Gurren's sunglasses now echoed Senketsu's crest, with a red-and-yellow eye glaring out menacingly from under the left lens, and the right lens being etched with the distinctive 'X' of the Kamui's 'eyepatch'. Excess Spiral Energy rippled out of Lagann's head, forming a wild mane of glowing green 'hair', and a spare bunch of pink Life Fibers hung forward in much the same manner as the girl's red forelock. It drew something small from its skirt armor, which it twirled around its finger until it grew as tall as the machine that held it- A massive drill, attached to the finger-grip of a truly gigantic pair of sewing shears.

"THIS IS GURREN LAGANN!" roared Simon.

"WE AIN'T MESSIN' AROUND THIS TIME," Kamina joined in.

"'CAUSE WE'RE DRESSED TO KILL!" screamed Ryuko.

All three announced the name of the machine to the world in perfect, fiery unison.

"**_GURREN LAGANN KIRU RA KIRU! JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE_****?"**

"I… I… just don't know what to-" stuttered Hermione, finding herself speechless. One of the Gatsby units began to advance toward the newly-enhanced gunmen, and Gurren Lagann responded by removing the aggressor's limbs without a trace of doing so. In one moment, it stood where it had transformed, in the next, it was behind a stripped-bare torso, standing in a pile of manipulators and thrusters.

Rainbow Dash slammed a hoof into her controls. "Don't just stand there and get taken out! Shoot at it!"

The other Gatsby units obliged, raising their beam rifles and firing a barrage of charged particles into their target. As soon as they stopped to reload, their weapons mysteriously split in half, exploding in their hands, with Gurren Lagann appearing directly in front of Rainbow Dash's Gundam.

"N-no way," cried the Pegasus, swinging her katana wildly. Gurren Lagann caught the blade with an open hand and jammed its fingers shut, snapping the weapon in half. With its other hand, it drew a second drill-scissor, which grew to a similar size as the first. It flew backwards until it reached the necessary distance, then threw both blades forward, each following an arcing, spinning path until it the weapons buried their edges between the arms and legs of the now-immobile suit. The gunmen raised its right arm above its head, generating a drill several stories tall.

**"****GIGA!"** cried Kamina.

"It's true," sobbed Rainbow Dash. "The rumor was true this whole time!"

**_"_****_DRILL!"_** followed Simon.

"I'm gonna die a horrible death!" wailed the Pegasus.

**_"_****_BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!"_** finished Ryuko, as the machine dove forward, plunging the weapon through the Gundam. Rainbow Dash spent her last few nanoseconds watching the front of her cockpit give way to the spiraling tip of her certain doom… before she realized that one of her modifications to the suit was the addition of an emergency AEGIS evacuation system. With her trademark reaction speed, she tapped the button and was transported back to the safety of the Mobile Defense hangar. Below her, on the extended viewing deck, was a particularly-sedate crowd of Reis, each holding lit candles. Ahead of them stood Char, next to a closed casket and several large, sepia photographs of herself.

"She brought such light into all of our lives," said the commander of Mobile Defense. "And never again will that light grace us ."

Rainbow Dash floated down to her memorial service, taking a bite out of the bouquet that had been placed on her casket.

"Never again, huh, Char?"

A small alarm went off on Hermione's AEGIS to notify her that Rainbow Dash had not expired.

_At least that's good. But now I've got _this _to deal with._

"You," seethed the combined voices of Simon, Kamina, and Ryuko as Gurren Lagann's mouths echoed their words. "You've kept this up for long enough."

"Yes I have," whimpered Hermione.

The gunmen turned, both drill-scissors in hand, and began to advance toward the powered-up witch. Hermione began to charge up an attack to hold them at bay, but it was too late. With incomprehensible speed, it performed a diagonal slash with each blade-like drill, creating an X-shaped wave of energy that propelled Hermione back through thirteen city blocks. With no foes left to challenge them, the pilots of Gurren Lagann brought the mech to a kneel, deactivating it. Senketsu deactivated as well, reverting into a tangle of strings before reconstituting himself into the familiar black seifuku. Without a constant stream of Spiral Energy, Gurren Lagann also reverted into its previously-wrecked state. Ryuko leapt out of the cockpit and snatched the falling garment, holding him tightly in her arms as they bounced off the ground.

"You did it, Senketsu! You did it!" she cried.

_No, Ryuko. _We _did it._

Simon and Kamina climbed out of Lagann's dented cockpit.

"Unbelievable," whispered Kamina, looking out at the damage they had been able to cause in their combined state. "I've never seen us get that powerful!"

"Kicking logic to the curb and making the impossible possible," said Simon with a twinkle in his eye. "That's the way Team Gurren's meant to roll. Ryuko, we're honored to have worked with you. I think we'll stick with your team for a little while longer, if you don't mind."

"Sure thing," said the girl, still giving her uniform a hug. "But expect to get hit if you keep on acting like perverts."

Simon nodded. "Okay. So why don't you put your clothes on?"

Ryuko realized that she still was in her underwear, and was about to uphold her end of the bargain she had just made when a shower of blue sparks appeared behind them.

"Not _more_ of them," whined Kamina.

Instead of further reinforcements, the figure that fell to the ground before them was, once again, Hermione. Her appearance had also undergone another change. She was no longer glowing with energy, or quite so youthful.

"What happened to _you_?" asked Ryuko.

"I'm… not sure," said the woman, clutching her stomach. "I think I used up all of my Time Vortex energy in order to save myself from your attack."

"Well, that should make it a lot easier for us to kick you around, right?" snapped Kamina.

"Hold up, guys," suggested Simon. "I don't think she's here to fight this time."

"You're right," said the witch, picking herself up. "Now, hold still." She tapped a few buttons on her AEGIS, and all four of them were transported to the other half of their team, which Alucard and Mikasa had rejoined.

"And _that's_ how I defeated Lord Tirek," concluded Twilight.

"AWESOME!" cheered Ruby. "Everything needs that many explosions!"

"Hey, guys," said Ryuko, announcing their arrival with a wave.

Twilight held up a hoof. "Good. Everyone's here. I need to act quickly!"

Without further comment, she charged up her magic, her horn's glow changing from lavender to a blinding white. In a flash, everything went dark, and slightly salty-smelling.


	23. Overdue Explanation

"Is that popcorn?" asked Holly.

"Yes, it is," confirmed Twilight, slightly adjusting the dimness of the can lights along the ceiling.

The group found itself seated in what appeared to be an absolutely normal movie theater, with a small podium set up in front of the screen where Twilight Sparkle sat.

"What's going on?" groaned Mikasa, only just coming to. "Why is it so dark?"

"Are we watching a movie?" wondered Ruby aloud, shifting in her seat. "Are there going to be EXPLOSIONS?!"

"I am sick and tired of getting teleported everywhere," growled Ryuko. "It's too damn disorienting."

"Ah, but we didn't teleport anywhere," explained the alicorn, fluttering her wings. "Allow me to elaborate."

"You see, I had to keep a few secrets from all of you in the beginning. I'll admit, I had to tell a few lies. But I couldn't just explain everything when prying ears were listening. I learned enough about you all to know that if I kept you in the dark _just_ enough, you'd get tired and demand answers. And thanks to the nature of the Grand Combat, you would probably get those answers out of me by force. As I already explained to some of you, I needed that to happen to be able to harness the Residual Magical Genesis Field and break through the Limit to achieve my Alicorn form."

"What is this Limit of which you speak?" asked Adam with raised hand.

"I'll get there," promised Twilight Sparkle.

"What I'm about to tell you, I can't let the Master of Games hear. I had to be at my most powerful in order to create this, which is an isolated pocket dimension."

Kamina looked around worriedly. "Okay, this is getting weird. I was just in this for the chicks, not a lecture." Simon elbowed him in the gut and motioned for him to keep quiet.

"A pocket dimension _movie theater_?" questioned Holly with a bit of disbelief.

"Well, if it works," shrugged Katniss.

"Twilight Sparkle's full power allows her to manipulate space itself," added Hermione from her seat at the back of the room. "She can do a lot of other interesting things at full strength."

"That's right," smiled the alicorn. "I'm not going to be able to sustain this for long, though, so please keep that in mind throughout the presentation." She took a moment to clear her throat before continuing.

"Now that I've explained _why_ I have chosen these methods, I need to get straight to the heavy stuff. As you're all now aware, there are multitudes of alternate universes and dimensions out there, and most of you all hail from different ones. That is the natural order of things, for you to be in your native reality. However, some time ago, a few individuals became aware of the existence of these other realities. They joined forces in order to maintain the balance of all possible realities, which we came to dub _the metaverse._ The organization was named the Illuminati Brotherhood, after an ancient group who sought to influence their world from the shadows. I am an honored member of the Illuminati, as is Mrs. Granger. Normally, our numbers are quite small, with fewer than one hundred members at any one time. But in light of this recent crisis, we have significantly bolstered our ranks."

"The crisis being the Grand Combat, right?" the elf asked.

"Exactly. It should come as no surprise to all of you that the Grand Combat is a far more sinister affair than it first appears. After all, how can the Master of Games summon you from your own dimensions, if we have established that this is not something that occurs naturally? The answer is that the Master of Games is not the being he wants you to think he is. He is Hastur the Unspeakable, a Great Old One- a being from the space between dimensions, of power so vast that attempting to comprehend even his true physical form can drive the untrained to complete insanity."

"Oooh, spooky!" giggled Ruby. "I bet the explosions come next!"

Twilight ignored her and continued.

"The actions of the Great Old Ones are so difficult to detect and observe, that this is the first cosmic event that we have been able to respond to, if only because of its massive scale. It started millennia ago- mere days by measurement of beings so ancient- with a battle between Hastur and his brother Cthulhu."

_Cthulhu. That's the name from that… dream, or whatever, when this had just begun, _thought Holly. _So that's the connection._

"While we identify them as near-equals, it is important to know that the capabilities of these two beings could not be more different. From what we currently understand, Hastur possessed more reality-altering abilities, while Cthulhu's specialty seemed to be in more subtle manipulation of minds. For all of his raw power, Hastur was defeated by his brother's less overt methods, and was left to die. Or whatever cosmic beings like that do- we're not quite sure yet; perhaps it is not our place to know. What we do know is that Hastur was not quite dead, and used what little power he had left to create what we currently identify as the Nexus of Carcosa- the location of the Grand Combat. His plan is simple- he will feed on the negative energies of your conflicts to restore himself."

"And we're going to stop him?" asked Katniss.

Twilight shook her head. "No. Doing so would be too dangerous. The Illuminati may be powerful, but we are not powerful enough to challenge him directly. Our plan is ultimately to get you back home."

"There's no way he's just going to let us go," said Holly.

"You are correct," admitted the alicorn. "and we are still working on that. This rescue is a long ways off. And there have been a few complications to the plan."

"Complications?" moaned Ryuko, who had never been a fan of complications.

"Yes- as we mentioned earlier, Carcosa features something called _the Limit_. Think of it as a sort of passive magical barrier that prevents most warriors from achieving a certain level of power. It does not seem to restrict gains in physical strength, but it does impede access to forms that have reality-altering abilities, such as my alicorn body. This makes traveling in and out of the Nexus of Carcosa in order to coordinate the efforts of the Illuminati more difficult for me, as I'm their inside pony. I've been catching rides with Mr. Alucard to make up for it. We have begun to resolve this issue with the versatile AEGIS system, a compact space-time transit device. You saw Hermione use hers to arrive here."

"As we move into the further phases of our plan, we're going to be making more and more incursions into Carcosa," added Hermione. "We need to study if for weak points, and we need to catalogue everyone here into our dossiers. Expect to be seeing more of us. And stay out of our way, if possible."

Holly raised her hand, and Twilight gave her the floor. "Would now be a good time to tell me what that thing I threw up was?"

"That is another one of our complications," said Twilight uneasily. "For reasons beyond our current understanding, Hastur brought Cthulhu into Carcosa. How he was able to achieve this in his weakened state or what his motivation was is uncertain. However, in order to be able to achieve this, he had to condense Cthulhu down, and he seemed to pick you at random-"

"So _that_ was Cthulhu? And it looks like me now?"

"Yes. It might be the largest wrench in our works. We have no idea what it wants or what exactly it will do, but we can be certain it will have little concern for the importance of our mission or the safety of others around it. If it interferes with our plans, it may throw our entire operation into ruin. Avoid it at any cost."

"That helps a _lot_," muttered the elf sarcastically.

"Unfortunately, it's all I can tell you. And that about brings you all up to speed. I don't have long left, so can I get any questions before I have to collapse this pocket dimension?"

"What are we supposed to do?" asked Katniss.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, what are we supposed to do between now and whenever you bust us out of here?"

"Play along," sighed Twilight. "Keep doing what you're doing. Making more allies is possible, but you'll have to keep this secret from them the same way I withheld it from you. You never know who could be working for the Master of Games. Just move forward with caution… that's about all I can tell you."

Katniss gave a mournful chuckle. "Playing along. At least I'm used to that."

"Any other questions? Last chance."

No one raised their hand.

"Okay, I'm going to send you back now. I'll join you shortly."

Twilight's horn glowed again, and the warriors disappeared. Only Hermione was left in the room.

"How was that?" asked the alicorn. "Did I do okay?"

"You did. You gave them enough to feel satisfied, and left the bits they shouldn't know yet out."

"Good, good," exhaled a relieved Twilight. "And you're back to the way you were before, aren't you?"

"The ideas that go through Artemis' head sometimes," sighed Hermione. "I think I'll stick with being a grumpy old hag. My childhood wasn't exactly an ideal one to relive."

"I need to collapse this so you can get back."

"Right-o, then. I'll see you later."

The fighters arrived in the exact same location from which they left, just down the road from the Second Street Ballrooms.

"Well, I never want to be _that_ elf, but… _I told you so!_" sneered Holly.

"We agreed to help you out," said Katniss. "It's not like we doubted you that much."

"I feel jipped," pouted Ruby. "There wasn't even a movie at all! She was just TALKING the whole time! And there weren't any explosions like she promised!"

"I do not think she promised any explosions, Ruby," Adam pointed out.

Twilight and Hermione appeared in a flash of light, but Hermione activated her AEGIS as soon as she was on solid ground, bringing her protracted visit to an abrupt end. The alicorn sauntered over to her once-again-friends as her wings dissolved away into ethereal lavender feathers, drifting upward like released balloons.

"Good to have you back," chuckled the elf, ruffling Twilight's mane.

"I think that's _my_ line," she whinnied. Everyone had a good laugh about that one. "Now, I believe there are two VIWs left to snag."

Holly nodded. "… Because no time has passed since we left. All right, let's go score us some-"

"The Eighth Street Foundry VIW has been defeated. One remains," announced Deep Thought.

"D'Arvit," the elf cursed. "Well, we can go for the last-"

"The Forty-Ninth Street Insurance Office VIW has been defeated. No targets remain."

The tinny sing-song of GLaDOS cut in. "Congratulations to team Night Terror for destroying a majority of the targets. I had no idea that you meatbags could be so efficient."

"We lost," breathed Katniss. "After winning everything else… we lost."

"And we had that streak for a reason, we worked together. Now we split up, and this happens," pondered Holly.

Adam shook his head. "We are not entirely at fault for our loss."

"Whaddya mean?" asked Ryuko. "We were a mess. You saw it. We did pretty much everything _besides _accomplish our goal."

"The team that won," explained Adam, "took out two targets in unnaturally rapid succession. They must be exceptionally powerful."

"Or well coordinated," suggested Holly.

"Or _both_," Ruby added.

"If that's the case, we'll have to be on top of our game next time if we want to beat them," said Twilight.

"Heh," sighed Holly. "After all of that intrigue, it's just back to smashing stuff harder."

The weary team enjoyed one last laugh before they sunk into the ground and returned to the common hall, which never would feel quite the same again.


	24. Cathedral Cosmos

Hermione warped in on the ship's bridge, surprised to find it nearly empty. A solitary Rei Ayanami sat behind a display console, typing a few notes into a data log. The witch scurried over as quickly as she could, acutely aware that she looked much sillier sprinting around as an adult than a child.

"Excuse me," she said. "Where is everyone?"

The girl turned, and Hermione instantly spotted the 'II' pinned to the front of her uniform.

"Everyone is down in the engine room, Mrs. Granger." replied Number Two. "We are about to go underway. I am almost finished here. I have the coordinates."

"Oh, that's very- thank you," Hermione whispered. "Listen, I'm sorry about what I said earlier."

"I realize my demeanor may not be the most social. I apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused due to my lack of 'suave'."

"No, no!" cried the witch, suddenly wrapping the girl in a hug. "Don't you tell yourself that! I was wrong to say what I did. It takes all sorts to keep us going- young and old, friendly and grumpy, quiet and noisy. It's not my place to make an insult like that. So _I_'_m_ the one who's apologizing, and that's final."

"Mrs. Granger, I cannot reach my AEGIS if you continue to hold me so."

"Oh- right- sorry," said the woman, releasing Rei to plug in their destination.

They arrived on a stage that had been assembled in front of the ship's central engine regulator. Several other high-rankers surrounded them- The Doctor, Chief Program Coordinator Suzumiya, the heads of Research and Development and Engineering, and Captain Littner stood next to Chief of Regulations Kiryuin with a particularly hostile glare. The cavernous room was filled to the brim with nearly everyone who could claim to work for the Illuminati- TDAs, scientists, and kitchen staff were all gathered together in anticipation, though for what Hermione was not exactly sure.

"Ah, Mrs. Granger," said Artemis, working his way around the stage to shake her hand. "I just took a look at the report from your last incursion. I need to speak with you in my office privately after this is over."

"Yes, sir," saluted the witch, who was beginning to realize that her custom-made training robes were quite ill-fitting now.

_A lecture on my failure, I'm sure. Though with Artemis, who knows. Maybe he'll be dosing me up with gamma rays._

He turned to address the crowd, tapping something on the lapel of his suit that must have been a microphone.

"I will keep this short, because we all have very important jobs to return to. It is my honor to guide this organization as we set out to preserve the safety of the metaverse. The cornerstone of our success is this, our new base of operations, the Cathedral Cosmos."

A round of applause rose from the crowd.

"I feel that there is no one better to command our vessel than our very own Captain Yoko Littner. Let us give her a warm welcome."

Another surge of applause, some wild and peppered with cat-calls, much of it restrained. Yoko stepped forward, bowing, which caused a few more excited whistles to rise from the crowd.

"Thanks, Artemis. It's great to have command of a ship like this, with all of you smiling faces working under me. It's a dream come true, I really mean it. Except the parking."

A few hearty laughs were quickly suffocated by the silence of the Reis. After Yoko's attempt at comedy had been completely stifled, she continued.

"But like Artemis said, you've got jobs to get back to so I won't keep you much longer. Core Drill, please," she said, holding out her hand. Chief of Engineering Dexter pushed a few of the taller officials out of the way and scrambled over to Yoko, handing her a small object on a chain. Yoko held it up in front of the crowd.

"Thanks to the geniuses we've got working for us, we were able to grab a chunk of solid Spiral Energy and synthesize it into a Core Drill, which is all we need to reach 100% operational capacity."

_Well, that all makes sense now, _thought Hermione. _Would a little transparency have hurt?_

"Okay, I'm going to need everyone to listen up here!" shouted Yoko, the microphone enhancing her raised voice. "We're all going to need to be fired up for this to work! Can I get a YEAH?"

Half of the audience shouted "YEAH!" in return, while the Reis whispered their response.

"You can do better than that, come on!" roared their captain. "Can I hear that, but LOUDER?!"

"I was not aware that this was going to be a pep rally," whispered Rei Two.

"Only now are things not turning up how you expected?" giggled Hermione back. "You've had it lucky."

"YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Yoko alongside her subordinates. "Okay, that's good. Now you're going to have to do that, and say, 'Cathedral Cosmos, Spin On'! You got that?"

Another YEAH was her response. She grabbed the Core Drill by its tiny handle and thrust her index finger as high in the air as she could.

"You see this? This is the drill… that's gonna save the heavens! _CATHEDRAL COSMOS, SPIN ON!"_

With the mighty bellow of the audience behind her, Yoko drove the drill's tip into the engine regulator. Bright green lines of energy radiated out in an unsurprising spiral pattern along the machinery as it began to churn and whine. The whine grew into a steady blast of sound as the engines purred to life, a slight shift in the floor indicating that the vessel had begun to move. Thunderous applause followed before Artemis held up a hand and announced "DISSMISSED!"


	25. Bizarre Adventure

"So, do you want to explain exactly _how_ you failed?" The Master of Games was not going to even pretend he was pleased.

Dio rose from his reverent kneel and stood before his master. "They were simply too strong," he asserted. "Even with warriors as powerful as you have supplied me with, we cannot hope to counter them. Unless my team can get a serious upgrade, we cannot hope to defeat them in combat."

"Such insolence," fumed the Master of Games, delivering a backhand the knocked Dio to the common hall's floor. Filia rushed to the vampire's side. "_You_ were the one who claimed that your power would lead your team to victory. And now you have failed me twice. He's mocking me, and you are useless to stop him."

"But… he _tried_," said the girl.

"His own arrogance destroyed him. And the novelty of his wardrobe has worn off."

Dio rubbed the side of his face angrily. "My arrogance would mean nothing if I was assigned a target I could actually _kill!_"

"Wait-" cried Filia, raising her hand to halt another strike from the Master of Games. "just, hold on," she whimpered. "What if instead of focusing on destroying the team, we just complete the objectives ahead of them? You just tell us where to go, and we'll finish before they can get there."

"Humph," shrugged the kingly figure. "That is an idea, I suppose. That could work. You wouldn't necessarily need to engage them directly, just hold them off at most… yes, that's not bad at all."

Filia gave a feeble smile. "T-thank you, my liege."

The Master of Games frowned. "Whatever. I need to plan the next round. Get out of my sight."

The girl helped Dio to his feet and the two left to return to the rest of the team.

"What is your _problem_?" the vampire hissed.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I mean, you're obsessed with me. You follow me around everywhere and now you're sticking up for me- there's loyalty and then there's annoying. Usually the ladies who obsess over me end up very dead."

Filia blinked, and took a step away from him. "It's just… I think there's more to you than just pure evil, Lord Dio."

"That is _laughable,_" he spat.

"N-no," she replied. "I really think… you let something inside you go wrong. You could have been a good person, I'm certain. You're only mad with power because that was the only way up for you… but here, it's different. I'm not following you around because I'm drunk on your charisma or something. I just… want to understand _why_."

Dio sighed. "I'll tell you a story. But it will be very long and very weird."

"Samson and I are quite patient if we want to be, isn't that right?"

"I dunno if that explanation changed my mind, Filia," grumbled her parasite.

"He says yes."

* * *

"I quit."

"You _what?" _roared Megatron.

"I _quit_," repeated Samus. "I figured out that every other time the table of food shows up here, they've got millet puffs. I don't need you to collect them for me."

"But I also promised you a way to get even with the SPARTAN, did I not?"

"I don't need you for that, either," growled the bounty hunter. "I'll figure that out, too. I never should have stopped working alone."

"Then how shall I exact my much-needed revenge?" cried the Predacon.

"Do it yourself," suggested Samus.

"But how? I am but one mech against an entire team!"

"Then make your own, stupid," she spat. "It's not like anything's stopping you."

"But-"

"But _nothing_," Samus grunted, turning away. "I'm out of here."

She stomped away from Megatron's table, leaving the Predacon alone once more.

_Curses. My plans have been foiled. She suggests that I form my own team- how naïve the organics are. No one with half a processor would join a team led by me after my escapades for the Master of Games. _

_Unless I could promise _them _millet puffs. Yesss, I may be onto something…_


	26. Public Enemies

Hermione knocked on the door of Artemis' office gently. "Hello? Artemis?"

The door slid open to reveal Rei Two on the other side. She held what appeared to be a red spear with a bifurcated tip in one hand, and in the other, a saucer and teacup.

"Come in," she said softly. The girl stepped back out of the way, and Hermione entered slowly. The office was fairly expansive and well-furnished, which made sense- Artemis wouldn't have it any other way. There was a small lounge area in the center, complete with reclining seats and couches and a small refrigerator. In the far corner of the room was his desk, complete with standing room for his butler and several conference chairs along the outside. In one of them was Chief of Regulations Satsuki Kiryuin.

"Hermione, sit down," ordered Artemis from his office chair, indicating a seat next to Kiryuin. Hermione reluctantly did as she was told, noticing that everyone had a cup of tea.

"Would you like some?" asked Satsuki.

"Well, I wouldn't want to impose- wait, did you just offer me something?"

"I was under the impression that it was customary to be polite," said Satsuki. "Perhaps customs are different where you come from."

"Well, I was under the impression that blocking doors was customary where _you_ came from," snapped Hermione.

"Ladies, please," insisted Artemis. "Let us keep things civil."

"Civil?" cried Hermione. "She nearly slit our captain's throat!"

"I was only acting upon the authority that Artemis has placed with me. That is what we are here to discuss," Satsuki stated with a deliberate sip of her tea. She tapped a button on her AEGIS and another saucer and cup appeared on the desk in front of her, which she slowly pushed to Hermione's place.

"Miss Kiryuin is right. I have given her free reign to enforce laws as she chooses because her methods have been deemed effective, and because we need a crackdown now more than ever." He pushed a folder across the desk labeled FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. Hermione assumed that meant hers as well. Rei Two took a seat on Hermione's left, leaning her spear-thing against the desk.

"In order for the Illuminati to accomplish our goals, we have gathered a variety of experts to work with us. Regrettably, some with vital skills may pose a threat to our organization's working order," he said, flipping the folder open. A personnel file with attached photograph sat on top of the stack of paper. It was a dignified looking middle-aged man with a beard and spectacles, his hands folded over one another in a resting position. He _looked_ friendly enough to Hermione, but appearances were no way to judge one's character.

"Gendo Ikari," whispered Rei. "Human Resources Chief of Cloning."

"I guess you two are familiar, then?" asked Hermione. Rei nodded.

"Mr. Ikari is an invaluable asset to our organization," explained Artemis. "Without him, we would not have 80% of our work force. However, he is known for keeping his own agenda and there is no reason to believe he is not doing so now. He is our number one priority because he has at his disposal the means to create Reis on his own accord and for his own purposes."

"Like a clone army," supposed Hermione.

"Or worse," said Satsuki.

"Of course, further complicating the matter is the nature of the clones, which are all genetically identical. On Rei's suggestion-" he pointed out Number Two "-we brought the NERV cloning program aboard, and it does fulfill many of our needs. Rei, you are highly intelligent and adaptable to nearly any form of work, and so are your clones. However, tracking them in order to monitor their activity has proven difficult."

"I apologize," whimpered Rei.

"No, no, do not apologize," consoled Artemis. "The program is by and large an irreplaceable benefit to our organization, and I have not regretted following your advice for one moment. You are not at fault."

"Understood," replied the girl.

"This is where Miss Kiryuin and Mrs. Granger come in. Hermione, you are my most trusted Trans-Dimensional Analyst, and you've been with our organization almost as long as I have. That's why I am choosing you for this assignment. You are going to work with a new investigative branch of Regulations under Miss Kiryuin in order to observe and monitor the actions of Mr. Ikari and other suspect individuals."

"So I have to work under… _her_?"

Satsuki frowned. "Any misgivings you may have about my character are the result of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I assure you. Your colleagues can vouch for me, as well."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Colleagues?"

Rei got up from her seat and opened the door, which allowed the four officers from earlier to barge into the room and take seats in the lounge area.

"I know you have met before, but I do not believe you have been properly introduced," said Satsuki. "These are my Elite Four. Ira Gamagori," the mammoth young man raised his hand gigantic hand, "Hoka Inamuta," the boy with the zipped-up uniform and glasses followed, "Uzu Sanageyama," who acknowledged himself as the one with the bandana, "and Nonon Jakuzure."

"So we're working for Curly now?" whined the venom-tongued girl.

"Yes, Nonon," sighed Satsuki.

"Step outta line once, and I'll make sure Lady Satsuki puts you in your place," hissed Nonon to Hermione.

"Well, this sure seems like a _fun_ little project," said Hermione through gritted teeth.

Artemis stood and directed Rei to open the door. Satsuki gave a bow and left, and her subordinates followed their original leader closely behind. "Your attention to detail makes you ideal for this kind of mission, Hermione. I thank you for your cooperation."

Hermione looked at the open door, then back at Artemis.

"My turn to speak with _you_ privately," she grunted. Artemis nodded and directed Rei to close the door again.

"I assume this is about the Time Vortex experiment?"

"No, it's about the flavor of scones for breakfast this morning. What do you _think_, Artemis?"

"If it is any consolation to you, Research and Development reviewed your results and deemed it inefficient. We can't enhance our soldiers and have them burn out halfway through a battle. We're reviewing alternatives, such as uniforms with mild Life Fiber integration."

"And I suppose you couldn't tell me about _that_ either? Because no one did."

"I understand that you are angry. I betrayed your trust by selecting you to test both without your permission. At the time, I had no alternative. However, there is one now. Fresh in from Recruitment, she's going straight to R&D. She's from some espionage program- responds really well to all sorts of mutagens, and she can recover in a day flat for more testing. She'll be the guinea pig from here on out."

"Name?"

"Clover somethingorother."

"Like any proper lab rat, don't bother with a proper name," Hermione hissed.

"Hey!" cried Artemis. "She's got one. I just have a lot on my plate right now."

"You sure do," sighed Hermione, getting up and walking to the door. "You sure do."


	27. Perfectly Normal Ramen

Gendo took another sip from his bowl of ramen. Rei sat across the table from him, mirroring his sip with her own.

"How do you like it, One?" he asked quietly.

"The ramen is fine, Commander Ikari. But I am concerned. Our contact said she would be here by now."

A small figure, clad in an over-long uniform pulled over its head cut down the aisle suddenly, setting a tray full of chocolate cake down next to Rei One.

"Here's the report on the Time Vortex enhancement you wanted," said a small, female voice. She slowly worked her head out of her outfit, exposing her long, pointed ears and taking a furtive glance around before digging into her cake.

"I was wondering when you'd get here, Opal," remarked Gendo.

"It's not easy to leave R&D. I've got minders on me twenty-four-seven. Artemis knows he made a mistake bringing me here."

"That's not good," said the man. "We want to be unassuming. We want them to not suspect us. Acting the part is not going to help us achieve our goals."

"I-mph- don't care," Opal replied through a mouthful of cake, sliding a file out from under her tray. Gendo brushed a smudge of chocolate frosting off of it before sliding it under his uniform.

"You had better learn to start caring, or this is going to go nowhere."

"Listen to you," laughed a woman's voice nearby. "You're one of those no-fun dads, aren't you?"

"We've been compromised," gasped Gendo, bolting up from his seat. Rei One followed, and Opal began her second piece of cake.

"Relax, Gendo, darling. Nobody's compromised anybody… yet. You don't want to look like you've completely lost your marbles, do you?"

"Who are you?" he huffed, looking around frantically while trying his hardest to appear as though he was not looking around frantically. "What do you want?"

"It's simple, darling. What I want is to be _in_. Is that too much to ask?"

"And what if it is?" he replied, directing his answer at no one at all.

"Then I report everything you've been doing that the powers that be, and claim _all_ the work you've done so far for my little old self," said the disembodied voice.

"You're bluffing. You don't know what you're talking about," Gendo insisted. "We're not up to anything. I think that's very prejudiced of you to assume that."

"Is it prejudiced to assume if you start by saying you've been compromised, and respond to me asking to be _in_? Darling, you can't put up a very good front."

Gendo's eyes widened. "So how did you find out? We've kept everything under wraps so far."

"Did you know that they've started sewing Life Fibers into everything now?" cackled the invisible woman. "_They_ told me everything. _Everything_."

"And if we let you in… _you_ can tell us everything," said Opal through another mouthful of cake.

"How clever. You are the genius everyone says you are."

"Anything else they say about me? Things about my peerless beauty and awe-inspiring power?"

"They say you get off to chocolate."

Opal set her next forkful of cake down.

"It seems we don't have much of a choice," grunted Gendo. "But why should we let you in if you can't prove where your loyalties lie?"

"Oh, but I _can_," moaned the voice. A small, clear cylinder tumbled onto the table as if tossed from nearby. Inside the canister was a tiny, white blob. Rei began to reach for it, but Gendo smacked her hand away, giving her a scolding look.

"A shard of the Second Angel," he whispered. "The last item I needed."

"Then I assume I have won your trust?"

"Gendo…" shivered Rei. "That… that is making me feel… odd. Very odd."

"It's supposed to, dear," replied Gendo. "Yes. You've proven that you can benefit us."

"Excellent," said the woman standing behind him, her hair radiating an uncountable variety of colors. "Now prove that you can benefit _me._"


	28. From the Desk of Harhui Suzumiya

TO: NONON JAKUZURE, REGULATIONS

FROM: HARHUI SUZUMIYA, CHIEF PROGRAM COORDINATOR

SUBJECT: GLEE CLUB

This is a response to your request for the formation of a recreational Glee Club for "the raising of morale among fellow crew members, the heightening of cultural awareness, and to force Uzu to learn how to sing".

After reviewing your proposal and the attached list of participants required in order to form a club, we have approved your request and are filling out the paperwork now. You will receive some forms shortly that will need to be returned to confirm your starting members and meeting times. We have reprinted the list here for you to review:

NONON JAKUZURE  
IRA GAMAGORI  
HOKA INAMUTA  
UZU SANAGEYAMA  
ELSA ARENDELLE  
APPLEJACK  
RARITY  
PINKIE PIE  
FLUTTERSHY  
MIKU HATSUNE  
REI AYANAMI II  
REI AYANAMI IV  
REI AYANAMI XLVII  
PROTOMAN

However, we have found a scheduling conflict with the previously-requested meeting times. Multipurpose Room 4A has already been claimed for that time. The only room sized large enough according to fire codes that is not currently occupied is being used for elective martial arts training by a Mr. Piccolo. You will have to ask him for permission and send that written permission back to me ASAP.

I look forward to hearing you sing. Just no show tunes. Do some covers or something, please.

-Harhui Suzumiya


End file.
